Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Sometimes It’s Ok to Quit {GIVE AWAY DAY}

Today I welcome my friend and fellow Proverbs 31 Ministries author, Glynnis Whitwer, to share from her new book, Doing Busy Better. I pray this post encourages you to have the confidence you need if you find yourself in a commitment you might need to step away from. Or perhaps it will help you as you coach your daughters through similar situations.

 

Glynnis is also giving away a copy of Doing Busy Better to one of my readers, plus she has free downloads for all of you! Here’s Glynnis:

 

 

Ever find yourself wanting to quit when things get hard?

 

Whether it’s learning something new, joining a group where we are the outsider, or being around people who don’t treat us like we deserve to be treated, most of us find ourselves in a difficult situation at some time or other, and getting out seems like the best avenue.

 

Throughout the Bible we are encouraged to press on, persevere, not give up hope, be brave, believe, and trust the Lord to strengthen us as we face our challenges.

 

Is there anywhere we are encouraged to stop?

 

The answer is yes, and we find a powerful reason to quit given by Jesus Himself in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5.

 

When It Causes You to Sin.

 

Jesus taught that sin in our hearts is just as bad as the sin we commit with our words or actions.

 

I faced sin in my heart during a time as children’s ministry director at my small church. It was a great part-time job that seemed manageable. I had three small children at the time, so I was already involved in that ministry. And because I have the gift of teaching and administration, it seemed a perfect fit.

 

For a while everything went great. I loved helping pick out curriculum and organizing the teacher supply room. I liked working with the other leaders, who shared a similar passion for teaching. And I loved the children.

 

Where this job fell apart for me was with the volunteers. Every week it seemed somebody called to cancel, or worse yet, just didn’t show up. And most often I deemed their excuses flimsy at best. After all, I didn’t let a headache stop me from showing up. And I went to bed early on Saturday night so I wasn’t too tired to show up.

 

Week after week I grew more and more annoyed. Especially since I was often the one to fill in for that volunteer, meaning I missed the church service I desperately needed.

 

I grew prideful as I compared my commitment with others and found them lacking. I grew resentful at their lack of dedication, and my compassion meter ran on empty.

 

After a year of praying and asking for God’s strength and trying to resolve these issues through practical means, my heart was steadfastly in the wrong place. I didn’t like the person I was becoming, and I went to the pastor and gave notice (and stayed till we found a replacement).

 

There are a few reasons I couldn’t handle that job. First, my energy and compassion were pretty much consumed by raising three little boys. Second, pride had a firm hold of me back then, and I was starting to see that it would take much to root it out. And third, I just wasn’t spiritually mature enough to handle the job.

 

Being on staff at a church requires a depth of spiritual and emotional maturity I didn’t have. I didn’t have the undergirding of personal prayer nor did I know how to handle all the knowledge that came with that position. It was absolutely the right decision to quit; I’ve never second-guessed that one.

 

As you consider all your commitments and responsibilities, is there one where you know either your thoughts, words, or actions aren’t right? If so, it’s always best to seek God’s help before quitting.

 

God has used hard situations to convict and correct me of sin. There have been plenty of other times I wanted to quit a responsibility due to my own sin, but God kept me there and changed me.

 

But if you are in a situation where you are continually tempted to sin, or are already in sin, and you don’t feel equipped to handle it, you could be facing the go-ahead to quit.

 

I know the idea of quitting anything can feel wrong. But when we do it in the right way, for the right reasons, it can be one of the best ways to get ourselves on a healthy track of life.

 

—-

 

The Giveaway

Comment below and share a commitment that God is calling you to slow the pace in, or perhaps one He has called you to quit in the past. One random winner will be chosen to win a copy of Doing Busy Better and will notified by email on Friday, July 14. (U.S. addresses only please).

 

Free Downloads

 

Glynnis has five mobile lockscreens you can download to be reminded of what God’s Word says about rest by subscribing here. You can also download a sample chapter of Doing Busy Better, and if you purchase a copy, be sure to redeem your receipt to receive a FREE companion Study Guide. Get the details here.

 

About Doing Busy Better

 

In Doing Busy Better, Glynnis helps you examine your heart and your schedule in order to seek a healthy, holy, and enjoyable balance between work and rest. Most importantly, she shows you that your worth is found not in your accomplishments but in the love of the One who made you for work and for rest.

 

About Glynnis

Glynnis Whitwer is Executive Director of Communications for Proverbs 31 Ministries, and contributor to their Encouragement for Today devotional, reaching over a million women each day. She’s the author of nine other books, including Taming the To-Do List and I Used to Be So Organized. She and her husband, Tod, live in Arizona and have five young-adult children. Connect with Glynnis at www.GlynnisWhitwer.com where she encourages women to live with margin and room to breathe while still getting things done.

 

Lynn

Comments

  1. Roxanne says:

    God is telling me to slow down in every area and seek him first. I’m slowly picking things up but only after I have prayed about them. I tend to run at break neck speed only to miss what he wants me to see.

  2. I know God has been telling me to slow down, say no more, and put Him first. It is so hard to say no when asked to do things you know will benefit others. I have been worn down lately and after reading this today I know the Lord is whispering to me again.

  3. Stella Satterlee says:

    I decided to slow down my commitment at church. My husband has had some health issues lately and we’ve been changing our diets and I’m trying to learn new recipes. We are juicing every morning and I’m learning to ferment vegetables. I have two teenage daughters and I want to be available to them as much as possible. They are only 17 months apart, so sometimes it can be challenging. This month my oldest is applying for college and my youngest needs to get her license. What weighs on me most is the health of my husband.
    I decided to call the lady in charge at church and told her my situation. I felt badly but she was not only understanding but comforting. What a blessing and relief. Another season in my life will come along and I can contribute with service. Just not now.

  4. Paulina says:

    Wow this post is so timely because I wrote a post on Facebook last night about quitting. God has showed me to slow down when it comes to attending all that my church offers. He is showing that I no longer have to support everything that is going on AND it is perfectly okay to do so. My obedience to Him doesn’t just lie within those four walls and I’m good with it,

  5. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to win. Trying to do busy better my slowing up on my on line commitments

  6. Brandi S. says:

    I felt called to step down from a Board position recently so I could have more time for my family.

  7. Thank you for the ‘ok’ to say NO! I began understanding that need doesn’t mean ‘calling’ around the age of 40 and began to not step into every situation that ‘needed’ someone to do it. The Lord laid it on my heart that if I did something He didn’t have for me, the person He was prompting would not step in. Such a relief as I praying about ‘opportunities’ that were offered but knew they weren’t all mine to do. Such a gift to serve where God has us – not necessarily easy but God grows us in grace. Would love a copy of your book!

  8. Linda Neely says:

    After I retired from teaching, I decided to volunteer & substitute at my school and schedule around Thursday morning Bible study. Before I knew it, I was back to working full time between the sub jobs & volunteer commitments so had no time for Bible study. I finally had to decline some if the requests for subbing & volunteering. I really felt led to protect the time for Bible study & haven’t regretted it for a minute.

  9. I had to say no to another small group, with commitments to 1 group at church and commitments to being very involved in the choir and Wednesday night dinners, I learned it was okay to just focus on those areas and not add anything else to my plate, I would like to say no to one other commitment but have received resistance to it so for now I just take some time away from it. Praying for a clear opening to step way back.

  10. Thank you…I have been struggling w/ this. I have had major surgery and it still hasn’t fixed my back to the point I can physically return to work. I’m 58 and don’t know whether to keep pushing and being physically sore out and in pain or just quit. I work in special education and those kids don’t need someone who is only half there….when I’m in pain my patience wears down easily….My coworkers have to pick up my slack or I feel resentful if they favor me due to pain. I need to know its ok to quit….that I don’t need to keep pushing when its a frustration that keeps me from giving my best! I need to slow down but I still need to give. I’m waiting on my new path.

  11. People see my “skills” and want me to join them. I’m having to say no to these requests and feel bad about doing so. My plate is already too full. And can’t figure out where else to trim as more extended family obligations seem to pop up. And not that I mind, I just don’t know how to fit it in.

    • Kim Stewart says:

      I can totally relate to that Amy, especially with volunteering at school and church. I’m learning to say no but it’s still hard. Glynnis’ book has helped me so much to see God’s desire for our rest and I need to fit that in first.

  12. Alicia Staubus says:

    I struggle to sit and be quiet. I can easily spend time with God while I am out in nature but I am working on being still without feeling guilt. Just the other day I sat down, for once, and my oldest daughter (10) sat with me and we simply…talked. I am continuing to remind myself to be in the moment and not worry about my to-do list or that I’m wasting time being still. Practice makes progress.

  13. Jennifer Nixon says:

    I need to understand that saying no is okay. If people don’t like me after I say no, did they really like me in the first place? I’m only hurting myself by being “busy” all the time.

  14. Lori Rupp says:

    God is whispering to me to be calm and steady and go at HIS pace while I try to start my own group to wear love out and do random acts of kindness. It’s been hard trying to motivate friends and family to participate with our missions and be a part of things bigger than ourselves. Sometimes the thoughts of WHY bother enter my head and that I just should give it up but God has been telling me not too. I believe and trust and just need to be still. I pray for strength to endure the race at God’s pace. My giving group will blossom and the seeds have been planted. I can’t give up!

  15. Every time I think I have learned the art of saying “No, I am sorry I can’t do that,” I find myself saying yes to something else. My husband will tease me because I am always looking for another committee to be on so that I can keep informed and have a say in what happens. I really need to learn how to do busy better. Thank you for your post.

  16. lara polk says:

    God is basically drawing me a picture telling me to slow down and not be so busy. I think He tried to tell me but I would not listen. Taking care of my youngest who is very sick with multiple illness, dealing with adult children and their children and parents aging way to fast for me – is a lot for one person to handle. I would really enjoy your book to help me during this time.

  17. Corena Hall says:

    Busy seems to be a badge of honor we like to wear. God seems to work in times of rest. Or at least that’s when I notice. In my life I allowed my life to unbalanced by stress and the constant continual struggle to contribute to the monetary aspects of my family. I resented the hours away from my family and the sin of pride stepped in to declare that I was a hard worker and good provider for my family’s wants. Mistake…Jehovah Jireh provides. He is Sovereign. Severe medical issues forced my resignation to care for the sick person. Yet the walk with God is all encompassing and sweet. I am at peace because I am with the ones I love and above all else I have learnt to keep Him first. My life is not the same and many wants I cannot meet but what God ordains I am able to finally walk in only in His grace. He is a merciful God. Thank you for the opportunity to possibly win a copy of a book quite against the mantra of modern times…” busy, too busy to be quiet and follow God’s guidance.”

  18. Committing to always pray about any request of my time away from home before saying yes or no.

  19. Dawn Johnson says:

    I experienced a situation very similar to Lynn’s. God showed me his will for my life when I literally prayed/cried out load ” Lord please change my situation OR change ME!”. Two days later I received a call from a friend about a job as a classroom aide in our local middle school; she had been asked to help find a replacement for her position as she had taken a new position. It was like God was personally handing me a new direction – one where I could use my talents and not have such a hard heart toward my church’s volunteers. A person was found very quickly to fill my shoes and I’ve been in my new position for over 6 yrs now. God’s plan for my life was a better fit for me and for my family life.

  20. I have found that sometimes it seems difficult to step out of a committment. Especially when it looks like there is no one else to do it. I have found this to be a wrong reason to stay. If the Lird is in it, He will raise up someone. I’ve seen where stepping aside allows someone else the opportunity to use their gifts.

  21. Teaching Sunday School became a “chore” rather than a blessing!

  22. Karen Pope says:

    I taught Preschool Sunday School for 15+ years. When God started nudging me to step aside, I was reluctant to obey Him. As it turned out, my stepping out of that role allowed someone else to come along side God to work in Sunday School. Also, the new person had already been prepared by the Lord to step up!! He then moved me into another ministry where I am stretching and growing my faith in ways I could never have imagined. God is good all the time.

  23. Susan G. says:

    Thanks for this Glynnis. I hadn’t considered these possibilities before.
    Many things to ponder here.
    Blessings!

  24. I led a table group at the women’s ministry at my church. Though I loved the women at the table and the ones I served with, I left each week feeling drained. After much prayer and consideration I stepped down. It was a good yes but not my best yes.
    Love the message of your book, Glynnis! Thank you, Lynn, for this!

  25. It is so true that we think by being busy serving the Lord, that we grow spiritually. This is not the way to become spiritually mature. I found that slowing down, taking time to read the Word of God and then praying for others, reveals more of the Lord’s guidance in my life. Thanks for such a timely word.

  26. Thanks to hearing Glynnis share on a podcast, I finally listened to God’s leading to observe a Sabbath day. I thought if Sunday wouldn’t work, no day would. However, I’ve since realized that Sabbath is about where our heart is, not which day of the week it falls on. So although worship is still a given on Sundays, I am now setting aside Thursdays for my day of rest until Sundays become a better option.

    Thank you, Glynnis, for sharing a much-needed message and this giveaway!

  27. Thanks for the inspiration. I have been discussing how to slow our lives down so that we can enjoy life and not work constantly. This is now a prime goal and your insights have been very helpful

  28. Thank you for this message and the opportunity to receive the book.

  29. I’m a busy mom of 4 and I feel that God is calling me to slow down and enjoy this time with my children. They grow up so fast and this time is precious. It’s just hard to find the balance in all that needs to be done.

  30. Evelyn S. says:

    God is telling me to slow down in putting people and things first in my life other than him. He is putting obstacles in my life to show me that is has better things for my life and everything this not hopeless like the devil leads you to believe so I just to thank god for slowing me down and opening my eyes to this. Thank you Jesus

  31. TAIYA KUMES says:

    Thank you for the opportunity to receive a copy of this book. I have two little girls and work, so I find it very difficult to refuse any volunteer opportunity for their school or after school commitments. I get way too involved and end up dreading that which I’ve committed myself – and complaining about it I’m afraid makes the girls feel like I really don’t want to be involved. Hopefully I can learn to be selective and not spread myself too thin.

  32. Thank you, Glynnis, for your timely message. I tend hold on to my commitments like a badge of honor, even when I know it would be best for me to quit and let go. I would love to win your new book!!

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