A Confident Heart

Friends,

I am so excited to share with you today a book that I have been reading: A Confident Heart by my friend Renee Swope. I’m twice as excited because today I’m giving away a free copy to one of you. Tuesday, a few of us from Proverbs 31 got together to work on editing devotions, so I took it with me and had Renee sign it and put a special verse in it too!

When Renee first described this book to me it felt like her and I were a hand and glove. So much of our messages are similiar: true confidence and secure self-esteem are found when we are rooted and established in Him. The difference – her book is for women as I focus in “His Revolutionary Love” on teen girls.

My favorite passage of A Confident Heart was on page 173 – Sometimes I Have to Boss My Heart Around. Renee describes a time during what she calls her year of “impossible”. Everything and anything was going wrong. Not just small things, but large, life changing things. Renee recognized that her heart was trying to make it’s way down to the “pit of discouragement” when in fact it should have been enjoying spring break with her family. That is when she decided to “boss her heart around”. Renee began to preach to herself: no matter what, GOD IS GOOD. She says, “I bossed my heart with God’s truth and pulled her away from the pit by telling her to “forget not all his benefits” (Psalm 103:2). Then I walked my heart down memory lane, reminding her of the One who:

Forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s
 
(Psalm 103: 3 – 5)
 
Friends, as we learn to be wise women and boss our hearts around, just think of how we can empower our children by teaching them to do the same. We can teach our children that they do not have to be victims to what their feelings or minds tell them; they can bring direction to their hearts. They can choose to remember that God is good and faithful and direct their heart toward thankfulness and joy.
 
Sometimes when I share with my girls to look to the good, they don’t want to. They don’t want to shift their emotions and you know what, often, I don’t either! It takes energy and discipline. But we can model the joy and blessings that come when we do turn our thoughts and emotions around and head back to the truth.
 
When you struggle, tell your kids and show them how you bring your thoughts captive by speaking to ourselves the truth of God’s word instead of listening to the words of an upset heart.
 
Renee’s book is packed with so many good truths, my friend! I hope you will choose to invest in your heart by getting A Confident Heart for yourself!
 
For the chance to win a copy and a copy of the September issue of Proverbs 31 Magazine with Renee’s story, please share when you find you most need to boss your heart around by just clicking on “comments” below. Please be sure to leave me your email so I can let you know if you have won.

Lynn

93 Comments

  1. I'll go first!

    I have to boss my heart around when my family has a conflict and I feel discouraged!

  2. I have to boss my heart around when the world tells me that I'm not good enough, or I don't do enough or what I do isn't enough. I have to listen to the Holy Spirit and lean on God's promises. Thank you for the chance to win Renee's book. I have my own copy but would love to share one with my daughter who is trying to emerge from a life of self doubt. God Bless.

  3. Today seems like a good day to start bossing! I woke to discouragement, negative thoughts and overwhelming "to-do" lists. When all the world seems to take on a gray-cast…it's time to boss my heart around! Thank you for sharing!

  4. wow, I need to boss my heart around almost daily. I think as women, we get caught up in lies we tell ourselves. I know I do. At the moment, I am going through some major life altering changes and I'm constantly reminding myself to remain in God's truths and not my own. So, at the moment it is a daily "Boss my heart" time.

  5. I have to boss my heart around whenever it's time to step outside the box and try something new – like going back to school or deciding to date a man who has custody of his children…

  6. My husband has just lost his job. I need to boss my heart around and remember He is faithful and true. I've been wanting to order Renee's book but it hasn't been in the budget; now it's definitely out. I'll continue to pray and follow all the wonderful proverbs 31 women. Thank you so much for you ministry. May God continue to bless you.

  7. I have to boss my heart around when I get discouraged about not being able to juggle school, four kids, marriage, and fianances. I have to turn to God and know he has everything undercontrol.

  8. I have to boss my heart around when I am feeling discouraged about finances and/or family situations that are difficult to deal with!

  9. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart around when I feel the urge to be hyper-critical of myself and of others. When my heart says nothing but perfection will do, I have to re-frame and know that God doesn't expect perfect. I am not perfect and have to stop holding myself up to the lie that I have to be perfect to be accepted and loved. God loves us right where we are and I have to let my heart know He is the boss and He accepts me flaws and all.
    email [email protected]

  10. I love it "Boss my heart around" I need to do that!! We relocated recently to a different state and I need to boss my heart around, because feeling lonely without my friends, looking for a new church how discouraging I feel right now, when I have to discipline my children oh how I need to boss my heart with that one and theirs. I am going to start today! Thanks for the encouragement and the chance to receive a wonderful book. God's blessings!!

  11. I have to boss my heart around when the Lord has told me what I am to do and trust Him, and the enemy tries to discourage and stir me another way with doubt and discouragement.

  12. I need to boss my heart around when the stresses of work tell me that nothing will ever change.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I need to boss my heart around when I feel like a failure, when I don't feel I measure up, when I feel inadequate to do things I need to for my family…when those doubts seep into my mind and paralyze me.

    Crystal H.
    [email protected]

  14. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart when I think about my mom. She is in a dark season of her life. Her actions and reactions to some situations drive me crazy. I know that God is working on her and breaking her down to fall on her face and hand all of her issues to Him. It is such a slow process, but God's timing is Always perfect. Please pray for my mom, Karen. Thanks! 🙂

  15. Bossing my heart around—it seems like that is what I have had to do for the past 3 yrs I just didn't realize that's what I was doing! Many changes have happened within our family; job loss, job changes, raising two daughters with one now in high school & the 2nd one 7 yrs behind. Its very easy to get discouraged b/c we live in a fallen world. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus at all times & sometimes that's hard to do. God bless!!!

  16. Lynn, I love this post and it's perfect timing with a devotion I"m writing based on that part of my book. I love reading all the comments too!! Thank you for reviewing my book and giving a copy away!! Love you friend!!

  17. Anonymous says:

    It seems I need to start bossing my heart around, tired of all the insecurities and not feeling good enough…..Lisa Taylor e-mail [email protected]

  18. I have to boss my heart around in the wee hours when it's dark and I'm in bed and I wake up with a start as the enemy whispers to me that I am a failure and why are my friends excelling in business and I am struggling to make ends meet.

  19. I need to boss my heart around whenever self-doubts take over my life…and this happens quite often!

  20. Oh, I forgot to share! I have to boss my heart around every day. Last night she needed some bossing when I was tempted to stay up too late getting work. I had to tell that heart of mine that God is God and He created me to sleep. And He will accomplish all that concerns me even when my to-do list is a mile long 🙂

  21. I have to boss my heart around when Satan comes in and tells me I'm not worth it anymore or I'm just a failure and I really don't deserve anyone. I had a friend to push me out of her life yesterday because of a situation that I got drug in the middle of. It took all I had to not give up on myself. Seems I've battled all my life in trying to make friends and keep them. I won't give up tho.

  22. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart around everyday between husband's business, my boss, my past mistakes, the fact that my parents made it clear that I wasn't planned. I still hear the taunts from the kids in elementary school because I was overweight. The list just goes on & on.
    God made me & God doesn't make junk. I've never had hopes & dreams before & I want some of my own.

  23. I have to boss my heart around when I hear my husband say that our marriage is in trouble and that he does not look forward to spending time with me. I need to boss my heart around when I get discouraged about my job search and our finances. Some days I tend to feel like a failure but I know that God has it all in control and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  24. Melanie Mason Shannon says:

    I have to boss my heart around when the stress of daily life starts to wear me down and I find myself mumbling & complaining before my feet ever hit the ground. I get discouraged and let the lies of this world seep into heart. The ladies' group at church have a motto "to be the type of woman that when she her feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says "Oh no she's up!". When I start my day with mama drama, the devil dances a jig and says today is going to be easy. I don't want that in my life or my childrens. I want to have a heart confident in the truths of God's love and the promises He has given us. I want His love to spread to everyone around me. I have posted several things from Renee's book on my facebook page and encouraged others to read it, yet I haven't got my own copy yet. To win a copy today would be so awesome. I thank you Lynn for sharing the daily inspirations God gives you and caring so much for the young women of today. May God continue to bless you with beautiful words!

  25. Every minute of every day I'm bossing my heart around reminding myself that it's so not about me and ALL about HIM!

  26. Oh man! Every morning when I awake and wonder "what's next?!". Then, I remind myself God is in control. I'm at a cross-roads of life and major changes are coming. I believe God is allowing my circumstances to drive me closer to Him, but it's a daily struggle to stay there and trust Him and not listen to my doubts. This sounds like a book I need to read. thank you!

  27. Kris Phillips says:

    I try very hard to boss my heart to have a positive heart toward all my short comings. I seem to end up more discouraged and can always use something and or someone to help me. I would also like to be a blessing to someone else I think I would feel better about myself if I was. God bless all today and always.
    [email protected]

  28. I am worried and scared right now. I have to boss my heart around and tell her to "Fear not for the Lord is with you", "God is your present help in times of trouble", " Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And His peace which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus!" His word never fails to comfort me! And I'm determined to boss my heart around until she doesn't have to be bossed around anymore! By God's grace!

  29. I love this concept. I need to boss my heart around when I am stressed and impatient.

  30. Every since fleeing from a Domestic Violence situation a few years ago, I have consistently had to boss my heart around. It has been a rough road but I have learned to boss my heart into focusing on the ways God has blessed me instead of falling into depression over the things that aren't going the way I'd like. After years of being stuck, I am venturing out to a new job with a new set of doubts and insecurities about my abilities. I am trying to boss my heart around that I can do it and that God will help me through. I would love to win Renee's book to help me on my journey! God bless!

  31. Anonymous says:

    I am struggling to boss my heart around to believe that I am loved as He loves me, treasured as He says I am, and righteous as He made me. I've been a Christian for 31 years, yet there is still a chasm between my head and heart and I know that I'm experiencing only a fraction of the love, peace, and joy He wants for me.

  32. I have to boss my heart around when it's a week until payday and it's hard for me to see with human eyes how our financial needs will be met for that week. I have to boss my heart around when my older son is struggling in school and he gets discouraged. I have to boss my heart around when events happen and I know it's Satan whispering to me that I'm not good enough, what a failure I am, why would I ever think anything good should come my way. In short, I boss my heart around a lot! And some days it's easier than others.

    bunkielisa (at) sbcglobal (dot) net

  33. I have to boss my heart around when I feel discouraged. Also, when I feel I'm not good enough or can't do things well enough. This looks like such a good book.

  34. I have to boss my heart around when I feel discouraged. Also, when I feel I'm not good enough or can't do things well enough. This looks like such a good book.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart around when I start counting all the things I do wrong as a monther instead of counting all the things I do right

  36. I have to boss my heart around when it wants to spend instead of paying down debt.

  37. I have to boss myself around when I feel discouraged and things are not going the way I feel they should go.

  38. I have to boss my heart around to be more open to Jesus. I have been blessed by God with a new job and a fantastic opportunity in leadership. My heart though is stubborn and closed to Jesus and my head is filling it with doubts that I struggle to ignore.

  39. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart around when I get so stressed out over my job and finances that all I can do is cry. I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that God is in control of it all. Leann [email protected]

  40. Erin Taylor says:

    I have to boss my heart around when I relive moments of my past that condemn and label me as worthless and unlovable by God. When I doubt my worth and value it spreads as a toxin into my identity, relationships, tasks and ministry until I find myself so overcome in doubt I quit. I am learning so slowly where my value comes from and that the seed of doubt can grow into and sufficating vine of destruction. I have begun just recently replacing the soundtrack of doubt and insecurity with truths from Him.

  41. My heart needs to be bossed around to be more open to Jesus. Jesus has blessed me with a new job that I prayed for daily. Not only did I get the job but I got a job in management as a supervisor. My heart though is stubborn and listening to my head and leaving me in doubt that I can do my job. I need my heart to soak up the love of Jesus and so put an end to my head being nasty to me.

  42. when circumstances beyond my control leave me doubting myslef even though I knoe I shouldn't and that God is with me

  43. I need to boss my heart around when I say "no " to commitments that aren't in npmy best interest, buti have a ard time saying no. Another time is when I thonki can't do some things, when the truth is I can do all things through the Lord who gives me strength.

    Emily

  44. I have to boss my heart around when we hit tough times financially. Plus, I have to also boss it around when it comes to other people's opinions getting the better of me.

    Desiree
    [email protected]

  45. I have to boss my heart around when I let current issues/conflicts cause me to worry about the future.

  46. I have to boss my heart around the most when I start comparing myself to other women. Someone is always going to be prettier, skinnier, have nicer clothes, a husband, etc. etc.. I keep having to tell my heart that those are not the things that God measures my worth by, and that His is the opinion that matters the most, not the world's! The funny thing is, there is usually somebody out there that wishes they measured up to YOU!

  47. I have to boss my heart around when it wants to leave my home and my husband. I have to make it realize that staying and working through the emotions that his affair has caused is what God wants me to do.

    We are working together with support groups to help me stay in charge of my heart.

  48. I have to boss my heart around when I feel overwhelemed with obligations. I have to stop and remind myself to take one thing at a time and rely on God's strength to get me through.

    [email protected]

  49. I was blessed to be able to go to the Confident Heart Conf. this time last week, and it could not have came about at a better time. I just said goodbye to my fiance after 22 months yesterday after we both had talked about it. He went back home to IA. We love each other so much, but I had to boss my heart and say you have to do this. I have already been married once, and to a wonderful Christian man or so I thought. I was never the same after that till this Feb. My fiance doesn't really like the woman I am now and doesn't want me to be "normal" so again I bossed my heart and decided not only do we need to separate but probably for good. In 03 I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, so stress really causes health issues for me, not to mention depression and anxiety. I have been living in that shadow of doubt, and I am still learning. God has been carving on me and moving so much. I've been a Christian all my life, but never really lived abundantly. This conf. woke me up so much, and I feel I am getting my life back. I would love to have the book. I wanted to get it at the conf but I don't have the funds to get it right now. I need it…I still fight my heart, shed so many tears, and yes at times feel lost. Knowing I have other women in my life supporting me when the world. Bless you for doing this. I also bookmarked your page.
    Penny from WV

  50. I have to boss my heart around some mornings after stepping on the bathroom scale. I find that all too often I let the numbers define my worth. Not so! My value is found only in God and who He says I am!! I just need to remind myself of this now and again.

  51. I have to boss my heart around when my children are arguing and I get discouraged (so, this is pretty much all the time!)

  52. I have to boss my heart around when I start to question the promises the Lord has given me so I can walk in the freedom of who I really am– in Him!

  53. I have to boss my heart around when I get the poor attitude that I don't matter and when others try to drag me down with them. God doesn't make junk. He loves me no matter what and I can't seem to wrap my mind around that concept. Lately I've had to boss my heart around so I didn't get sucked into the drama brought on by my parents and their marriage troubles. Thank you for the chance to win A Confident Heart! God Bless!

  54. Brenda – I think we all struggle now and then with hearing we're not goo enough! Keep bosing your heart around!

  55. Kristina – other's troubles can certainly try to pull us in. So glad you see you can boss your heart and not have to carry the burdens of other's troubles?

  56. Penny, Thank you so much for coming by today! YOU are one strong woman in the Lord! Keep running hard after Him. He will fill every hole left behind with the parting of ways with your fiancee. So glad to hear you'll be coming back to my blog. Looking forward to getting to know you!

  57. I have to boss my heart around when depression and anxiety set in. It's been a really REALLY difficult couple of months…surgery…sudden death of my sister…and those are just two of the things that happened in the past month.

  58. ajsknrmat – I just applaud you, my friend! You are truly walking in obedience!

  59. Lisa Marie – You are so right! As my pastor, Steven Furtick says, "We compare our scrimmage videos to another person's highlight reels." So something like that…point being, comparison will choke us every time! Keep going friend

  60. Emily – sometimes our hearts try to guilt trip us, even when it is not in our best interest, don't they? Keep listening to the Holy Spirit for direction….He is right EVERY TIME!

  61. I have to boss my heart around when depression and anxiety set in. It's been a really REALLY difficult couple of months…surgery…sudden death of my sister…and those are just two of the things that happened in the past month.

  62. Zoe – Congratulations! Jesus wouldn't give you something you couldn't do! Keep going friend!

  63. Anonymous says:

    I have to boss my heart around daily. If I didn't I would just give up trying sometimes. In January of 2010, I lost my job and our family suffered a major financial crisis. I thought we were prepared; Savings to cover six months of household expenses, no credit cards, (untouchable) education trusts for our children, but nothing could prepare us for the hit our family took. We lost our home to foreclosure. The materialistic things do not matter and I have since come to see God's plan. We lived a worldly life instead of a WORDLY life. One of the most painful things has been the lose of friendships. Friendships that I thought to be genuine turned out instead to be superficial. WHen our social status was gone, so were they. We are 18 months out of our crisis and things are going pretty well. Not financially well, but spiritually well. My priorities are where they should have been all along. Despite that, I still feel discouraged every day and am constantly having to give myself an attitude check. I look forward to reading Renee's book as soon as it hits our library!

    Kelly
    [email protected]

  64. Erin Taylor – Keep playing those Truth CD's friend! Eventually, it will be what your heart truly believes!

  65. I am having to boss my heart around fighting grief. I lost my precious Husband unexpectantly in April and Mr. Grief is trying to conquer me!! I'm having lots of conversations with him 'cause I KNOW my God is holding my hand!!!!

  66. Kathy – I am so so sorry. I really cannot imagine the depth of your pain. While grieving is natural, I am so glad you are not allowing it to make a permanent home in your heart!

  67. Wow … I think from the number of comments all the times are taken! 😉 I would say when fear tries to sneak back in (Hubby is deployed on go round #4 in Iraq right now) or when things seem like God just isn't around!

  68. Kelly, Your pain breaks my heart! I am so sorry to hear of the pain you have been through since loosing your job. I am so happy to hear the good that has come and that bitterness is not welcome in the home of your heart! Jesus is so proud of you!

  69. Amaya Albury says:

    I have to boss my heart around most when submitting myself to my husband. In the world you are taught not to take any type of abuse from anyone. Now, Im not saying my husband beats me, but what I am saying is that dose He love me like Christ loves the church? No, so we could contort the scripture and be like he is not doing his part, so I dont think I will do mine. My submission is to God, and I have made a covenant foremost to God. Dying to yourself, taking up your cross should be a moment by moment thing in our lives. Daily giving up our wants not just for our husbands, and children, but the world. The world teaches you not to be a doormat, which I dont think Christ wants us to be either. But it means giving up your "my" right for the wrong. Without God and His leading I would be a vicitm in life, but through Him, and His example I am an overcomer, and a Proverbs 31 woman, brave, courageous, submitted and committed.

  70. Holly – Fourth deployment. You have to be a woman who knows what it means to not allow fear to rule your heart. Thank your husband for me for his sacrifice and thank you for being an amazing woman to support a solider!

  71. I need to do that when I fall prey to feeling hopeless. I know it gets better but sometimes I get so discouraged.

  72. Amaya – Yes you are! You are an overcomer, a Proverbs 31 woman, brave, courageous, submitted and committed. Thank you for encouraging us!

  73. LisaAnn – Keep bossing your heart around. No daughter of the King of the Universe is ever hopeless!

  74. i have to boss my heart around- or at least try to – when my babies are dealing with physical problems and the outcome is unknown. i am struggling with my past and wondering when my consequences are going to catch up with me. i just have to remind myself of the Word and keep moving.

  75. i have to boss my heart around – or attempt to – when my babies are dealing with physical problems. i am struggling with past sins and waiting for the consequences to come. i am trying really hard to quote scripture and remember what God says.

  76. I most have to boss my heart around when I'm dealing with sandpaper people!!! They really do "rub" me the wrong way! I have to try not to "mark them off of my list ".

  77. I have to Boss my heart around when I receive the morning phone call (like today) from my mohter (who has just recently be diagonised with Stage 2 , borderline Stage 3 Lung Cancer) crying and telling me she is tired and she is done fighting the cancer and she is ready to pass on….hardest words to swallow in the morning…I want to scream , cry and curl up in a ball …but instead I Boss my Heart to turn it all over to the Good Lord and for him to touch my Moms heart and to give her strength and to direct her on the path he intends for her and his will. Not a easy situation but I have to trust in the Lord with all my HEART!

    I am reading this book and I love it….how powerful it is and it hits home for me and I am sure so many other women! I want to share it with My Mom and all the wonderful women I know!

    God Bless

  78. Lauren,

    I am so sorry for your pain! My father had a very long battle with cancer and I know first hand how difficult it is to see a parent suffer.

    I pray that you will find strength in Jesus' strength each and every day!

  79. I have to boss my heart around sometimes with trusting my children to God. My confidence in His ability to guide their lives can be a real struggle.

  80. I have to boss my heart around it seems on a daily basis, lately. When my body doesn't want to cooperate with my brain and this rare disease (intracranial hypertension) tries to take over. I tell myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can homeschool my boys -even through their learning disabilites. I can rest in Jesus even through the headaches and pain. He is my Source, He is my confidence. Even when chaos is all around, He is constant.

  81. I have to boss my heart around when I catch myself believing the enemy when he tells me I'm less than, not good enough, damaged beyond repair, worthless, or hopeless. With Christ, I know I'm more than a conqueror, a child of the King, washed white as snow, worth dying for, and am given hope and a future because my Savior has plans for me! [email protected]

  82. I have to boss my heart around when I start questioning God's reasons for allowing my 18 year old to die 11 months ago in an automobile accident. I need to trust His heart when I can't trace His hand.
    Brenda McGurk
    [email protected]

  83. I have to boss my heart around when I have to be around a close member of my family who is full of negativity. My initial response is to get angry at her and respond negatively back to her. I am a work in progress asking the Lord to soften my heart and gently bring out the positives in some way so that she can see how much we have to be thankful for.

  84. I've been "bossing my heart around" or as I call it "preaching to myself" all week. It seems the money is never there, but the bills keep showing up right on time. The "voices" tell me that God must only want to help other people, but for some reason not me. I know that such comments just simply aren't true. I have to constantly remind myself that God is good all the time and He will provide for my needs in His time and in His way, just as He promised in His Word. I simply need to ask and trust. It's a struggle, but I know God is and will always be faithful.

  85. Butterfly says:

    I have to boss my heart around (I really like that phrase) when I start to become anxious about finances.

  86. I have to boss my heart when I listen to the lies that tell me to not attempt a relationship out of fear of being hurt. I battle the thoughts that maybe I don't deserve to have a relationship, that I don't deserve to be loved.

  87. I need to boss my heart around when I start having thoughts that aren't in line with God's word. I "need" this or that; I don't like… I so enjoyed Renee's chapters and thoughts that she shared with us a little while ago.

  88. Recently I had surgery done that I know was ordained and orchestrated by God. But in the past month since the surgery, I have experienced delayed healing in some areas. It looks quite frightening and I've had to boss my heart around (though I didn't know thats what I was doing! LOL) by telling myself that God provided this opportunity and I know He is going to heal me, over and over. Each time I think I've got it made, satan throws some other symptom at me but 3-4 days ago, I decided once and for all, yes, God did provide this opportunity and He is going to heal me! Today, when satan threw me a big curve and I had to make an emergency trip to Nashville (2 & 1/2 hours away), I confidently told my Dr, I know this is just satan, I know God was in this (I told him and everybody else in the OR that day) and I would be healed!!! Praise the Lord!

  89. Anonymous says:

    No matter what I am dealing with, I need to boss my heart! All I need to remember is God loves me as I am. I believe that God sent Jesus to live here as a man…sinfree for 33 Years. I believe that Jesus died for me and washed my sins away. I need to tell my hear to let go and give it to God. Just always remember the gift of eternal life in Heaven…no more suffering…no more sorrow…no more pain…<3. [email protected]

  90. I have to boss my heart around when I feel ineffective at work or as a parent, and when I don't manage my time well. Sometimes it's when I'm talking to a friend who seems to have a much better relationship with the Lord than I do.

  91. Amanda Langworthy says:

    I have to "boss my heart around" when I feel discouraged, discontent, inadequate, overwhelmed with the many hats I wear. Wether or not I am doing what I should be doing..just trying not to give into the lies of my low self-esteem..to know that I am valued in Christ..and that alone should be something! 🙂

  92. I have to boss my heart around when I start to partake in a pity party.

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