Trips, contests, sporting events. We want to be there; experience each special moment in our kids lives.
But does our child want us at these special events?
Saturday, Mariah and I took a road trip for a competition for the National Association of Teachers of Singing. I felt honored to be there. My middle child has been competed for two years; this was first time I got to be there.
In events past, she traveled with her teacher or others students, so this was an honor.
Chatting about all things girl during the long drive, Mariah told me she was glad I was there; in fact, happy each time I came to her events.
“Why, then, do kids sometimes act like they don’t want their parents there?”
Her wisdom: you always ask.
You know why I ask? Because I didn’t with my first child, Zachary. I assumed, as his mom, it was my right and place.
When it has come to Mariah, I have tried to be more mindful that she is creating her own world; a world she might not always want me in.
When she was in 8th grade, she traveled to Italy with her choir; I didn’t go. Felt she needed space. In 9th grade, she traveled with her choir to New York City; I didn’t go. Again, I sensed she was still becoming her own girl.
But the coolest thing happened…she began to want me to come. She began to text me from school, “Quick, Mom, they have one spot left for the trip. Hurry and get in!” Amazing…
Since then, I have gone on every trip I could, at Mariah’s request.
I’m not saying this will work with every child or that you shouldn’t go on trips when you feel prompted to, but for me and my girl, the space in the beginning made a space to draw close today.
(PS Today’s picture is my youngest daughter, Madi, at her choir’s winter ball. No…I didn’t chaperon this one! Still giving this one space!)