Lynn – The Mess
David. A man after God’s own heart; yet a man who messed up so terribly. Not many of us can say that we have committed adultery and then proceeded onto murder to cover it all up.
Yesterday, Pastor Steven Furtick gave some points from David’s life based on Psalm 51. I thought they were so good, I just HAD to share them with you:
1) Realize that I am the only one to blame for what is in my life and Christ alone is able to save.
2) The more aware I am of my ability to completely blow it, the less likely it is that I will completely blow it!
3) Repentance begins when I want to be all right more than I want to look all right. As long as I want to look all right, I won’t be all right. I have got to want my joy more that I want other’s approval.
4) God’s goal in repentance is not to beat me to death, but to raise me to life. There is something much deeper He wants to give me.
These points were further driven home in my life when I spent time with Jesus this morning and Philippians 1: 12 – 13 stood out: “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear through out the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.” NIV
Now, I am going to make an odd combination of these two: When I am open and honest about the “messes” in my life, THAT can further the gospel. When others see that as a believer I am less than perfect, but in the imperfection I RUN to Jesus and find all I need, then, I am pointing others to Him.
Last week when I spoke to the Fort Bragg PWOC, I had a woman come up to me afterward and saw, “It was so good to have a speaker come that didn’t have it all together and that I could relate to.” I wasn’t sure if I should be thankful or offended. (Just joking!) Actually, I was very thankful, because if I had portrayed anything any differently, it would have been a lie! I am so far from perfect; so far from having it all together! I have disagreements with my husband, have children who run from God, struggle in my work, have junk drawers and a pile called “taxes waiting for Lynn to get ready to file”! I wake up some mornings and don’t want to read my Bible. I sometimes judge instead of pray and hate to work out even though my body reminds me of how desperately I need it. I like chocolate more than spinach and often give in to peanut butter and jelly for breakfast AND lunch!
But, this I know. All of these things make me desperate for my Jesus. In spite of my mess, He loves me. ALL of me and when I run to my Daddy and am honest about my sin, He forgives. ALL of it. He never holds it against me. As Psalm 103 says He throws it as far as the east is from the west.
So if you are looking for a speaker or writer who has it all together, there are plenty of them out there, but you will have to look elsewhere. But if you are looking for an honest woman who just wants more of Jesus and less of Lynn, you’ve stopped by the right place and I hope you will come back for more tomorrow!
Before I clicked the "post a comment" button, I noticed one of your tags was "transformation". That's what's God is doing with my life right now! He is transforming me from the inside out, and the joy that I have is true joy that only comes from Jesus, for covering my sins and cleansing me, making me a whole woman… a woman of God! I was an adulterous woman. God has delivered me from 27 years of promiscuity. I am 38 years old, so yes that makes me 11 years old when I started on that journey. But you know… God never, ever stopped pursuing me. He let me make my own choices and I have felt the effects of my choices. He's downright amazing! This morning during my prayer time, which is alot of times while I'm in the shower, lol, He reminded me that today I celebrate 1 month of being a 'virgin', which in my life is a huge deal. I desire to be the Virtuous Woman.
Thank you Lynn for your posting today. This really hit home, it is such an aswome feeling to know that I'm not alone, that there are women like me that seek Jesus and don't have it all together, that go through, daily, the same struggles you mentioned, and still be the recepient of God's great and unconditional love.
Thank you Jesus for your message today, I am worthy of your love despite all my dialy messses.
I love your transparency Lynn! I have to laugh at your "messes" because I, too have many of them. I actually commented on this topic a couple days ago on another blog. The writer asked what we are learning on right now….and I couldn't help but compare my honest thoughts to what I was reading from other people. I felt so much less "spiritual" than the others. It seemed like they all hung on God's word and leaned on Him….which is what I should do but sometimes I don't. I KNOW I need to learn to trust Him more.
So, Lynn, it was a pleasure to read about your "realness" in print. I guess it's refreshing to see other christian women admit their struggles; I have plenty but with God I'm overcoming them. Do I… get impatient behind the wheel? Snap at my child? Lose my patience with my husband? Put God 2nd? Yes, yes, yes and yes…..BUT God is molding me to be the woman He created me to be and I'm so thankful I have blogs like yours to read and made to feel like I'm not so different after all. 🙂
-Amy V.