Going Solo?

We weren't made to walk this path alone


The toll of the emotionally draining week reached its all time high. Though I was trying to use various diversions to clear my mind, my thoughts were overpowering me. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and fall apart. Worry was winning.

Greg, feeling the pain behind my welling eyes asked, “What’s going on?”

Fighting to keep my composure, I chose to fight my battle alone. “I’m ok” slid out before I caught my lie.

Unable to keep my feelings hidden, minutes later he asked again: “What’s wrong?” My resolve could no longer hold up; “I just can’t get past this anxiety.” I blubbered. He listened attentively as words gave way to thoughts swirling in my mind. After I had emptied my heart, he gave another perspective, God’s, opening the door to thankfulness and trust.

I am so glad the Lord knew we would have troubles so He featured Bible stories of those who had issues as well. This time, it’s Elijah and I who have something in common. Like Elijah, sometimes when I struggle, I struggle alone.

In 1 Kings 19:3, we find Elijah having relationship trouble; big trouble! A queen was trying to kill him. He decided the way out was to run.


“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 1 Kings 19: 3 – 4 (NIV)

I don’t blame Elijah one bit for running when trouble hit. I have that instinct myself some days. Running to social media or a chocolate goodie when my emotions are a jumbled up mess is the easiest way out, at least temporarily.

Where Elijah missed it, and I did too on that day, was he chose to go solo. Elijah had a servant who was traveling with him, but he made the decision to leave the servant. He chose to go into the scarcity of the desert where his emotions only became darker alone.

Elijah and I both could have used the truth in Ecclesiastes 4, “two are better than one…if one falls down, his friend can help him up.” When we share our troubles with another godly friend, they can often help us to see what we cannot. Their perspective can open a new pathway of thinking; a road leading to hope and faith and away from despair.

When you add the power and presence of the Holy Spirit to the friendship, Ecclesiastes 4:12  tells us our relationships become “…a cord of three strands not quickly broken.” Our pain, when shared, can be transformed to peace. Strength can take the place of sorrow.

Is there a burden you are carrying which would be lighter if you shared it with a friend? Make a way today to allow another to help you handle your load. If I can be that friend, for you, I’d love too! Just share in the comments below.

          Jesus, thank you that you have given us the gift of relationships. Give us the wisdom when and with whom to share our personal problems so we can be strengthened and in turn, strengthen another. Amen


Here are some of my resources that you might find helpful:

Beyond Facebook Friends CD message 


“His Revolutionary Love” sharing the power of godly friendships for teen girls


Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (NIV)



  1. I do need prayer for my son, who was recently divorced, and went into a deep depression. He has been living with us for the past 2 years during this time as he finished college and because of financial reasons.He has been looking for a job and has many job interviews but still has not gotten one. I pray that he will trust God and make him 1st in his life. I know my God loves him and does not want to see him hurting.

    1. I’d be happy to, Janice!

      Jesus, you see Janice’s son. All the heartache and pain to process. I pray that he will find you and experience you in a deep way like he never has before. Help him to turn to You for his needs and find you to be the filler of his heart and the provider of his needs. Amen

  2. I would love prayers to find a Godly friend to spend time with. It seems that I continually pick those who end up turning their back on me or worse treating me very rudely. Some of it has been as a result of our children growing apart as they matured, but it has never been because I have influenced them to do so. I and my husband feel trapped in the community that we live in until we can retire or parents have passed away that are being cared for. I recently went to counseling in another town and expressed how it seems that my community has grown more clannish and unfriendly towards outsiders (which I am) and has too many cliques that we don’t seem to fit into anymore. (our priorites have changed over the years). My counselor stated that she had several other clients from the same area who have expressed the exact same concern to her. It validated my feelings but doesn’t help the loneliness, especially since my daughter is returning back to college. Thank you for sharing your story and scripture with us since i have had a very similar week.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Gussie, you may find it interesting that my worry had to do with my daughter going to college!

      Lord, You know ALL the in’s and out’s of Gussie’s community. You also know that you created her for relationship. Jesus, according to Ecclesiastes, please bring a godly friend that Gussie can have as part of her 3 strand cord. You are our need meeter, Lord! Amen

      1. Thank you, Lynn! I hope you are having a better week!

  3. Lynn, thank you for offering to be that friend today! I’m stressed out about my family’s financial situation. A year ago my husband and I moved to a new city for his job. I haven’t been able to get a job. I’ve applied over 100 places and only had two interviews. This hurts me because I feel inadequate and have nothing to offer a company. I also had a major surgery that also kept me for looking and obtaining a job. I feel so bad because my husband is working two jobs while I’m not working at all. He doesn’t complain about it and always encourages me, but I beat myself up constantly about it. We had to sell our second car, and even with insurance my health bills are stacking up. I ask for peace today while God is working it out; and for me to be still and stop trying to fix it and let Him handle it.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      It is my honor to pray for you, Courtney!

      Jesus, you have not created Courtney to carry this heavy, heavy burden alone. While the need is imminent and very real, Lord, You have Your reason for why you have not answered this need in the way they are expecting yet. Give Courtney the courage to fight the enemy back with Your word when he tries to speak words of discouragement or low self-worth. She is trying, but it is not her job, it’s your’s. Thank you for building trust in her help. Give her creative ways to support her husband during this season. We thank you in advance for answering Courtney’s prayers. AMEN!

      1. AMEN!

        Thank you, Lynn!

  4. Robin Herbert says:

    Lynn, this post is rather timely…I have been struggling with my elder son who grew up, I raised him in the church and taught him to behave as a Kings kid, it seems the closer I get to the lord the further he is moving away from the lord, verbally, physically etc. I have continually prayed for a spirit of obedience to reign in my household. In all of his 19 years I have been a single parent I praise and thank God for partnering with me on this journey and being so faithful, when I thought to throw my hands up…But i still feel alone…through it all. (No his fathers family is not deceased) but I feel drained and bankrupt, emotionally, mentally and financially.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Jesus, you see the struggle Robin is going through and how very tired she is. Lord, this is such a hard time in a boy’s life. I ask that you will please send some men of God to come along side him. Jesus, help others to see him and invest in him. Show Robin scripture that she can pray over and over and over her son, believing that You created him to be an amazing man of God. Fill her with hope, strength and courage, Jesus. May she know that every prayer she prays, meal she makes and laundry she runs makes a different. She is showing her boy You, Jesus. Amen

  5. Please pray for my daughter Clara who is 13. She had an awful school year due to her behavior an influences. After a christian summer camp she has really decided to change and have a different year but I know it is going to be hard for her specially since we live far away from a church and from christian friends. Please pray that God would help her develop good relationships and that He will strenghthen her decision to change. Please pray for me, that God would give me the wisdom and the help I need in this situation.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Jesus, thank you for the good work you started in Clara this summer. Thank you that your word says, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6. You began it; you will carry it on. Help Karina to be intentional to provide opportunities for her daughter to keep laying that foundation. Help her to pour truth into her girl so truth will come out. Amen

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