I wake, my first thoughts shouting the same worry I slumbered with. The concern so deep, it fights to swallow my peace.
I struggle to get up; to get the day started, the gloomy, rainy weather, a reflection of my heart. I lay and begin to push my thoughts toward hope. Toward my Father.
“Our Father in heaven …”
I know the prayers I pray reach His ears though I feel the same. Yet, I won’t give up. I am desperate to find a first step to finding forward.
Though my feet haven’t moved, my mind has begun the process. Rehearsing the faithfulness God showed to followers in the Word, I remember the steps they took. They continued to believe, though they hadn’t yet seen their answers. I reach out to grab hold of their faith to strengthen my own.
Abraham … waiting for a promised son. Never giving up hope, his faith-fueled him to keep believing in the promise of God year after year after year. He kept believing even if he hadn’t yet seen the answer.
Rahab … day after day, keeping that red cord hanging in the window. Though she had yet to see any sign of the spies’ bringing the promised rescued, she believed their God would come through.
David…running, running, running. So much of his life spent crying out to God to set him free from his enemies. Though the struggle tarried through many winters, springs, summers, and falls, so did David’s faith in his loving God.
After contemplating the faith of those who have come before me, I find the strength to put both feet on the floor, shuffling to find my robe. I know to make it through this day I need to read some of these stories for myself, supplying my soul for what will come this day … whatever it will be.
I settle in my chair, the one where I meet Jesus on most days, looking up. There hangs the print, given to me by a friend, many years ago when life. I hung it then because it looked pretty in that position. It remains today because it strengthens my soul.
“Even if … I still will.” Habakkuk 3:17-18 it declares.
Some days, I feel that. That inner strength that says, “No matter what, God, I will follow you.” And on the days I do not, when my heart only feels pain, I still cling to this … This what? I guess it is a resolve of sorts. Yes, I’ve come to a definite and earnest decision. No matter what, I will follow You, Jesus. I will choose You. I will praise You.
Many days, the words that reinforce my decision come from the Psalms, for so often I find the writer in a place similar to my own. Desperate for help, the words are cries to God to bring relief. “Help us, God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name’s sake.” Psalm 79:9 (NIV) And though I hear the wrestling, mirroring the struggling in my own soul, I read the resolution as well, found in today’s key verse: “But we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will give thanks to you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise.” Psalm 79:13 (ESV)
Yes, no matter what this day brings, or the next, or the next week, month or year, we, Your people, will give thanks to You forever. We will tell of all there is to praise you for.
No. Matter. What.
I have found my first step forward.
Father, many days we seem stuck because we don’t feel our faith. With Your power living in us, today we say, even if … I still will. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Finding your first step forward isn’t easy some days. Yet, God’s word can empower us to do just that. For help finding where His word will intersect with your need to move, click here to purchase my women’s Bible Study: Make Your Move: Finding Unshakable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures.
I’d love to pray for you today as you take your first step forward. Share in the comments below and I’ll join you in taking your concerns to the Father!