Wednesday Wisdom Tip: Break My Finger


Choose to Be Broken

Wise Women … Wiser Daughters

Sometimes, I think my tagline should read something like, “Messed-Up Mom Helping Other Moms Not Mess Up” or something like that. That’s what this place is about. A mom and her kids telling their stories of where they have messed up and sharing their dirt. (Occasionally we share where we have gotten it right, too!)

Today is one of those “I messed up” days.

When my kids were younger, I regularly pointed out the flaws in relationships. Ugly, I know. Beyond ugly, as I look back, it is down right humiliating. I felt that if I helped my kids to see the ways other relationships failed or what blemishes to look for in others, it would help them choose the right spouse one day.

I was not teaching them what to look for in a potential spouse. What I demonstrated and taught was how to be a flaw finder.

I was, and still can be, way too much like the religious leaders who brought the woman caught in adultery before Jesus in John 8. I have “made her stand before the group” and pointed the finger. I taught and demonstrated the perfect way to judge other people, somehow thinking in my messed up mind, I was teaching my children to be wise and avoid going down the path of destructive relationships.

How could I have messed up so bad? In reading God’s word regularly, how did I miss Jesus’ example?

Jesus lived out humility. John 8:2 tells us, ” … He sat down to teach them.” This is the posture Jesus was in when the Pharisees and religious people drug the adulterous woman to Him in this chapter. Even His bodily posture demonstrated humility.

The Son of God showed humility while the religious people revealed pride, self-righteousness and judgement.

Not only did He shine humility, He radiated love. Jesus protected the woman from the stone throwers. Because of His wise words, the religious put down their stones. His words caused them to look at what was in their hands and the words of condescension flowing from their mouths and think again.

The religious, and I have to put myself in this category today, didn’t care about the broken. They cared about being right.

There is no love in being right.  Oh how we need to learn this, friend! Jesus said He is love. If I want to be like Him, and I so want that, I’m the one who needs to be broken.

Jesus never turns away when I’m broken, only when I refuse to be broken. 

In the miraculous way that only a perfect Savior could do, in spite of me, Jesus has created in the hearts of my three kids people who love people. Seeing beyond the external brokenness of others to see the potential the Creator has placed in all of His creation.  I so want to be like my kids; one who sees beyond what I can see with my eyes and see the person God intended them to become.

Lord, break my pointing finger. Open my eyes to see how You see; see what You see. Break my heart to love like you love. Empower me today to reach out to those who are hurting and bring Your healing love. Amen




  1. Thank you for sharing your heart. Doing what Mom’s do best is advising children with wisdom. I hit the wall too many times and still hit it concerning “teaching” them. Hopefully, after reading this, the LORD will help me to keep my mouth closed so that He may speak to their hearts. Thanks again.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      It certainly is our place to teach our kids, Dot. The Lord just pointed out to me the heart behind my words and it wasn’t pure or like His. I want to be like Him!

  2. Lynn,

    I think what you write today is a lot about temperment. Some have a critical minds. They are called: Critical Thinkers. I see it as a good quality to be carefully managed by the tender Holy Spirit.
    Your thoughts of having been too much of this and not enough of this seems to be how the love of God crushes us. Breaks us. I am talking about how He has and does work with me. If only, I had known. I say that a lot. Oh, that thought breaks my heart.
    Love never fails…God is love. He works and accomplishes and HE gets the honor and glory. Keep on!!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Good word, Linda!

  3. God is love. And thankfully, he loves all of us. Scars, mistakes, broken hearts and all. Beautifully honest and thought provoking post. Thank you.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I am so very, very thankful He does, Cat! Who would I be if He gave on me when I make a mistake? My mouth gets me in SO many not good places. He is faithful to keep teaching me … and forgiving too!

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