I don’t know if it’s just a girl thing or if it’s from living in a house with two teen girls, but when I hear voices starting rise and a story being told, I’ve just got to know what’s going on.
My daughter, Mariah, came home from work last night and immediately plopped on the couch. Though I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready, I could tell by her tone of voice, something had gone on at work. I couldn’t just stand there flipping burgers! I had to get in the other room and hear her tale.
Sometimes, especially when it comes to our kids, hearing the story is exactly what we need. Hearing what happened at school that day or at ball practice keeps us in the loop with our kids and their lives.
But you know, many times, we don’t need to hear the latest, because when we do, our peace just slips away.
There have been times when I have had to go on a drama diet. I have had to make choices to block that person from Facebook, not go into the lunch room at noon or stay in my bedroom when I hear voices rising.
Instead, I have had to go after peace.
David gives some great advice on how to go after peace:
“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” Psalm 34:14
It begins with turning from evil.
Then we’re to go after peace. We need to go after safety, wholeness, and well-being as this verse implies in Hebrew.
Are you used to knowing what’s going on or being in the know? Maybe it’s time to turn around and head the other direction.
Here are some practical steps to take:
1) Avoid places where drama starts. At work, that might be in the break room. For our kids, it might be a certain lunch table.
2) Stay off Twitter or Facebook when conversations are getting heated (for me, that was after the debate last Thursday!)
3) Turn away from conversations when the drama is heating up. Literally, leave the room.
Refuse to be the girl with the gift of stirring up trouble. Go on a drama diet!
Have you ever needed a drama diet? What steps have you had to take to run hard after peace in your life?
Congratulations to the winner from Friday’s post with my special guest Brenda Warner: K Pickett for the tickets to Women of Faith in Charlotte and Laura Davis for the Warner’s book “First Things First”. Please email me your full name and address at: Lynn@LynnCowell.com and I’ll get those out!
Hilda Quintanilla says
Oh girl! You spoke and confirmed sooooo much!!! I was considering putting my FB through a detox last night! Some folks are real joy-killers, and this message has exhorted me to take the step and I am about to delete many “friends”. Blessings!
Elise Daly Parker says
This is excellent Lynn. You are so right on. Sometimes it is just TMI and we need to resist the temptation to know more than we need to; resist the temptation to engage when we’re better off, well, praying would be good! My daughter is in the heat of senior year of high school. There is so much stress. And sometimes I react by getting mad at teachers or kids who aren’t cooperating with the group project. I need to back off sometimes. Thanks!
Shelly Burke says
Great advice, Lynn! I think the older I get the more I realize so much of the drama is unnecessary and purposely stirred up by others who need the attention or for whatever reason.
I have (had?) a friend who seems to purposely stir up “family” drama, never willing to take any steps to ease the drama or step away, herself, from the situation. For several years I thought that as a “good friend” I should always listen to her/read her texts/ask her what was going on when she posted on FB. I’d get stirred up about her problems, try to help her find solutions, give her advice, etc., etc., etc. It took me a long time to realize that she didn’t WANT solutions, she wanted to be able to stir up the drama whenever she needed to–for whatever reasons.
It was very, very hard, but I have stopped responding to the “drama” posts and texts. I continue to pray for her (and tell her that without adding any comments about the drama) talk with her about neutral topics, etc. and be a friend, just not as close as I used to be.
I feel that as well as disrupting my own peace, responding to someone who is not truly seeking peace is also interfering with THEIR peace by allowing them to continue with the unnecessary drama (I’m NOT implying that ALL drama is unnecessary–some drama is truly just that and friends NEED encouragement, support, etc., I’m talking about the unnecessary drama!)
I like the image of “running hard after peace”! THANK YOU, Lynn, for sharing!
Deena Burnham says
I sooooooooo need a drama diet. I have 3 daughters ages 21-18. The 21 almost 22 year old has moved out and her drama is all comic drama. I want to be with her, because she makes me laugh. But my youngest demands time, because her life is soooooo awful and she wants to talk it out, to make herself feel better. (But it doesn’t work). Yesterday my younger daughter got a letter of recommendation that was amazing. “Why can’t I feel happy about myself when I read this letter?” My advise, “Read it over and over, it is all true.”
I have been short on funds, but I am ordering a copy of “Crazy Love” for her today.
BTW: daughter number 2 had special time with me a couple of years ago before the storm hit and is now enjoying her second love (God is her first love). We have coffee a couple of times a month, in town, even though she lives in my house…just to catch up on the details for life.
In less than 300 days they will all be gone (younger two going to university) Stormy drama or Comic, today I am just spending a day with my computer in a coffee shop to: ruminate on my 1st Love.
Alicia Hall says
Absolutely love this concept! I would love to stay on a perpetual drama diet. The truth is I have enough stuff of my own to deal with. I don’t want anyone else drama! Hoping to teach my girl this truth as well as she begins her teen years. Thanks!
Yes, I have craved peace and learned only in the last few years (I am almost 60 now) how to snatch some. Part of it is definitelly keeping my mouth closed. A whispered prayer or count to 10 helps that. Phil.4:6-8 is dynamite! Also, a comment I got anonymously is: “unsolicited advice sounds like criticism”. Thank you for your wisdom and glad you are learning it younger and spreading it around.