I finally did it! That big thing that all women are suppose to do when they hit the big 40…I got my baseline mammogram on Wednesday and you know, it wasn’t that bad! (I am sure it helps tremendously that I am as flat as a pancake!). I think I stalled thinking it was going to be this awful thing and truly, I have issues with doctors. It’s funny that I do when I have a such a really wonderful relationship with a another Doctor that I know I can trust because He truly knows what He is doing.
Although my Doctor and I have a great relationship, I still sometimes hesitate to give Him a call. It seems to me that often His method of treatments are what I call unconventional and risky. Deep in my heart though, I know that without His treatments, I will shrivel up and eventually die. Recently, although reluctantly, I gave Him a call for a check-up.
I showed up for my appointment and got right in. It sure was a peaceful place. I knew He’d be right in, but I decided to pick up the book He had authored as I waited. As I read His book, I was again amazed at His wisdom and just how much He knew about the human race. Just as He promised, He came right in and began to discuss with me my current health care plan. He gave me the words I didn’t want to hear. I needed more surgery. I don’t know why I dreaded it so much…probably because I was aware of the risks that were involved. I could see that there was no other alternative, but I still had to make the choice. I can tell you, this was no easy decision for me. Upon my last visit to His Word, He gave me the reasons for the surgery. I suffered from a chronic case of performing – living for the applauds of others. I have been struggling with this disease all of my life. After treatment, I had found healing, but sometimes, after finding myself in battle with the enemy or in a conflict with my mind, I would become wounded and need treatment again. Finding life, all of life in Him alone, was my only cure. Yet I still seemed to struggle with that complete surrender and trust.
After my review, my Doctor handed me the waiver papers for the surgery and asked me to read them so that I would understand what needed to take place. I had to sign them in order for the surgery to be performed. My doctor wouldn’t force me to have this procedure completed. The waiver included this promise, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake with find it.” Matthew 10:39 (NIV). The options sounded pretty limited. Either go forward or being to wither. I signed the papers.
Once I agreed, I headed to the hospital. The quickest route there was on my knees. Knowing how hard this was for me, My Doctor set up personal escorts for me. His angels ministered to me as I took the steps of surrender. After checking in, I was taken to the pre-op room. As I climbed up on my gurney, I began to cry. I still did not fully understand all that needed to take place, but I did feel His peace. As we passed through the double doors, He was there – waiting to perform for me what I could not do for myself.
Have you also been told that you needed to have surgery performed by the Great Physician? Although it is incredibly difficult and scary to surrender, who better can we trust but Jehovah-Rapha – the Lord our Healer. Ask Him to help you to sign your papers, get up on the gurney and allow Him to wheel you into His surgery room. You will never regret the decision to do it!
Here is what you could say: Dear Lord, I am so scared to surrender all of my life to You. I don’t even fully know what it means or what the outcome will be, but I do know that I want to experience all that you have for me and the only way I can get there is my Your hand. Help me to consent to Your hand today. In Jesus’ Name – Amen
Linda Blanford says
Lynn, I loved the creative way you wrote for today. I found your site by accident as I was looking for email addresses and there you were.
You said,”I suffered from a chronic case of performing – living for the applauds of others.”
Approval is sure addictive and we all suffer from it some for sure.
The Word really showed me something last summer. St.Paul said, “None of these things move me. Neither do I count my life dear unto myself.” What struck me was the, not to count your life dear unto yourself. I’ve been prone to like to save my life for me. It seems like self just doesn’t like to die. How true..losing our life we find it.
Just wanted to say hello and Praise Jehovah Rapha with you.