When Your Child Doesn’t Want Your Hugs

The winner of Tuesday’s give away “Living So That” by Wendy Blight is Kristen who posted at  2014/03/26 at 2:32 am. Please email your full name and address, Kristen and Wendy will get it right out to you!

No More Hugs

The turn of the head. The twist of the body.

As a mom, I am sure, like me, you have experienced resistance from your child a time or two when you have tried to display your love.

The stronger the opposition, the easier it is to simply back off. Slowly letting go of the hugs, the kisses, the holding.

Why fight what they don’t want?

You need to fight, Mom, because, our kids do in fact want to experience the outward signs of our love. So we have to spare no effort in showing it.

For a touch is powerful.

In Luke 7:11-17, Jesus happens upon a funeral procession for an only son. His heart breaks as He witnesses the widow’s brokeness. “Don’t cry.” He gingerly says and “then he went up and touched the coffin”. The dead child was alive again.

Touch here in the original Greek language is hapto. Hapto “refers to such handling of an object as to exert a modifying influence upon it or upon oneself, or touching for the purpose of manipulating. Implies a certain degree of involvement with the object on the part of the subject, more than mere contact or touch, but an engagement, handling or use in the which some kind of influence or effect is created between the items coming in contact.”

When Jesus touched, He brought healing.

When we touch another, we too have power. Like Jesus, we can use the power of touch for good. Jesus used this power to heal and communicate love. He modified, changed, and healed, the one touched.

As our definition of touch said, this power can also be used for evil. Touch can be used to modify the one touched in a way that is not for good, but for manipulation. In dating, experimenting or in homosexual relationships, our kids can cross this line. Not because they are evil, but because they are human. They desire to be touched.

We were all created with skin and nerve endings as a vital part of our bodies.

We were created to need to feel physical love; to be touched.

In Luke 8:45, as Jesus made his way through a pushy crowd, he suddenly asked the question: “Who touched me?”. Power was exerted through touch. A woman was made whole.

Touch throughout Jesus’ earthly ministry was part of the healing process. I believe He wants to us, in the lives of our families, to use touch to heal as well.

Our family members experience rejection, loneliness and hurt through out their days. Our touch might be just the thing which reaches these places of hurt and opens doors for healing. Especially in the teen years, they hear stories of others who are experiencing touching in a whole new way. This curiosity or rejection can trigger the desire to search for touch in ways that bring hurt.

When your daughter comes home from school, your husband comes home from work, your son heads off to bed…touch them. Not lightly. Not quickly as if to brush off or fulfill your duty, but with all your might, squeeze your loved one. Give them a big ‘ole slobbery kiss. Let the Holy Spirit use you today to bring the power of His touch.



  1. Kerri Schuerman says:

    Good Morning –

    I pray all the time. I have heard alot about prayer journals, but have never committed to one. Thank you for your post.

  2. Barb Robinette says:

    Dear Lynn,

    I use a prayer journal,also. Sometimes I use a pretty one and sometimes I use a 50 cent spiral notebook. I’ve kept them all, on the bottom of my closet floor. After I fill one, I look back and see God’s faithfulness and I see my own fears and doubts. I really like the pink highlighter idea. I may borrow that one. Thanks for sharing.

    Barb Robinette

  3. I’m enjoying your blog while my family sleeps. I am a mom of 4. Two teen boys in middle school and a boy in 2nd grade and a girl in kindergarten. My two young ones love and thrive on hugs. My two teens are more stand offish. I sometimes back off when they seem to push away my hugs, but now I’m going to just give them a big squeeze. Thanks!!!

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