Wednesday Wisdom Tip: Soul Mate or Helper?


As we pray for teachable hearts in the lives of our kids, we need to empower our girls to see guys cannot do what guys weren’t created to do. God has not equipped males to be our “be-all”. In fact, personally, I think that the whole “soul mate” idea is something this planet created, not God. Ok…before you think I am a heretic, think about this.


Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Wondering what God was really trying to do when He created a woman, I read many commentaries on this verse. Each one said the same thing, but I will choose to quote Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible:


“this implies that the woman was to be a perfect resemblance of the man, possessing neither inferiority nor superiority, but being in all things like and equal to himself.”


There is not a picture here of being “half” until you find that one who “completes” you. Only Jesus can do that! Check out Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Perfect here in the Greek is teleios. This word means: goal, purpose. Hence, complete, perfected, fully developed, lacking any deficiencies or shortcomings.

It is in Jesus that we are fully developed, not when we meet “the one”. He, Jesus, is the One! He is the perfect soul mate!


We haven’t grown up hearing this truth. We’ve grown up hearing: “One day you’ll find the one…” So as soon as we’re old enough to watch Snow White, we start looking for that day. Listen to her words as she’s busy working in the cottage:


Someday my prince will come
Someday I ‘ll find my love
And how thrilling that moment will be
When the prince of my dreams comes to me
He’ll whisper I love you
And steal a kiss or two
Though he’s far away I’ll find my love someday
Someday when my dreams come true


It’s not just a girl thing. Us ‘80’s girls heard Kenny Rogers sing:

Lady, for so many years I thought I’d never find you
You have come into my life and made me whole


Today, it’s Justin Timberlake. On the radio he’s singing:


‘Cause I don’t wanna lose you now

I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold ‘Cause I don’t wanna lose you now

I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold




We’ll talk about this more in next week’s Wednesday Wisdom Tip.


Do you have a heart to invest in teen girls, whether that is your daughter, her friends or a small group? I’d love to have you join the Behind-the-Scene Team! We are a group of women who are intentional about empowering the next generation of women to find the love of their lives in Christ! Click on the Behind-the-Scene tab above or find our closed Facebook page at:



  1. Oh my goodness. You have no idea how true this really is. We choose a man and make him our soul mate, our better half, whatever we want to say. Then when something happens and our world is shaken, we are lost, our world is frazzled. However, if we made Jesus our soul mate, our perfect one, when things happen in life as they will, it would not have the same impact. Our lives need to be built on Jesus alone, all the rest is simply icing on the cake as they say. Thank you for sharing this. Yes I want to share these truths with my daughters and I do, but somehow reading your words it ministered to ME… Thank you and Bless you!!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      It’s a truth we need to hear often and at every age, Juanita! Preaching to myself every time! I have an amazing husband, but he can’t fill the whole of my heart!

  2. Arie Strobel says:

    This reminds me of the time I went with friends to a community theater production of Romeo and Juliet and realized it is not a love story at all, but a sad story of codependency.

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