The fights! You say “too low”; she says “just fine”. You say “too short”; she says “just right”. What’s a mom to do?
A quick fix to this problem is to stop buying clothes that are immodest! Most of the clothes in our daughter’s wardrobe were purchased by us. If we refuse to purchase them, they won’t have them (or they’ll get a job!)
If you are like me, after spending too much time in the mall, I become desensitized. I see so many low cut shirts, too many short skirts, I begin to forget what an appropriate length is! I literally have to take a step back and look more closely or else I am surprised by my own purchases when I get home!
When drawing the appropriate boundaries with our girls the whining and complaining is tough at first, but after awhile, they get what our standards are (if we stick by them) and they’ll stop pushing. We can also simply refuse to go shopping with them if the fighting doesn’t stop!
Before your next shopping trip, set the standard before you head out. Do this over a Starbuck’s or in an atmosphere that is fun, not provoking. While you are out for coffee, grab a napkin. Draw ½ of a heart on it. Hand your girl the pen and ask her to complete the picture. She knew exactly what to do right? Explain to your girl that guys are visual; they complete images in their heads. If they are half dressed, a guy will finish the picture. Share with her when she dresses immodestly she is creating an image in the guy’s head in chemistry lab. This is the same images she is creating in the heads of her male teachers, coaches and her friend’s dad. I bet this information will do the trick! Let her know that if the goods are not for sale, she shouldn’t dress as though they are.
Share this truth with your girl: dressing inappropriately is a selfish decision. It is selfish because we put guys in a place where they have to fight not to think wrong thoughts. It is selfish because we draw attention to ourselves, taking the limelight away from others. When we are so full of the awareness of Jesus’ love for us, we will not have to be in the limelight. As girls who are loved by a God who loves perfectly and unconditionally, we need know that the attention we need is His.