Wednesday Wisdom Tip – The Skin Show

The fights! You say “too low”; she says “just fine”. You say “too short”; she says “just right”. What’s a mom to do?

A quick fix to this problem is to stop buying clothes that are immodest! Most of the clothes in our daughter’s wardrobe were purchased by us. If we refuse to purchase them, they won’t have them (or they’ll get a job!)

If you are like me, after spending too much time in the mall, I become desensitized. I see so many low cut shirts, too many short skirts, I begin to forget what an appropriate length is! I literally have to take a step back and look more closely or else I am surprised by my own purchases when I get home!

When drawing the appropriate boundaries with our girls the whining and complaining is tough at first, but after awhile, they get what our standards are (if we stick by them) and they’ll stop pushing. We can also simply refuse to go shopping with them if the fighting doesn’t stop!

Before your next shopping trip, set the standard before you head out. Do this over a Starbuck’s or in an atmosphere that is fun, not provoking. While you are out for coffee, grab a napkin. Draw ½ of a heart on it. Hand your girl the pen and ask her to complete the picture. She knew exactly what to do right? Explain to your girl that guys are visual; they complete images in their heads. If they are half dressed, a guy will finish the picture. Share with her when she dresses immodestly she is creating an image in the guy’s head in chemistry lab. This is the same images she is creating in the heads of her male teachers, coaches and her friend’s dad. I bet this information will do the trick! Let her know that if the goods are not for sale, she shouldn’t dress as though they are.

Share this truth with your girl: dressing inappropriately is a selfish decision. It is selfish because we put guys in a place where they have to fight not to think wrong thoughts. It is selfish because we draw attention to ourselves, taking the limelight away from others. When we are so full of the awareness of Jesus’ love for us, we will not have to be in the limelight. As girls who are loved by a God who loves perfectly and unconditionally, we need know that the attention we need is His.



  1. Kevin Subra says:

    As the father of nine girls, I say, AMEN. Keep speaking this. Modesty is a forgotten truth that is clearly taught in the Word (for example 1 Tim 2:9-10, Titus 2:3-5, Prov 7:10 etc.). Certainly it is not the only truth, but it is indeed part of the truth, and needs to be talked about.

    It is so hard in our day to teach modesty, as it has largely been abandoned by the people of God (let alone society at large). Keep it up.

    1. Thanks Kevin. I do think that people can differ on what modesty is to them. I have had strangers that don’t know me or my girls personally make comments about my girls Facebook pictures before saying that my girls are immodest. While I don’t every pretend to be perfect nor ask my girls to be, I do think it is our responsibility to teach our girls what it means to honor God and then ask the Holy Spirit to come behind us with His conviction. I have seen this happen in the lives of my daughters. I have taught them what I believe modesty is. In middle school, they really fought it. The older they get, the more modest they become. I can only thank Jesus for that!

  2. Thanks for sharing!


  3. Appreciated your post today. It has gotten harder and harder to go shopping for my daughters with what is available! I have three daughters and thankfully, so far this has not been an issue for us. (Ages 20 down to 6) This school year I have had the opportunity to be a guest teacher in the local high school and WOW! Could not believe how some of the girls dress. I guess it’s one thing to see the stuff on the racks at the mall and another to see it in real life.

  4. I absolutely LOVE this! Thank you for sharing. One thing the president of our childrens’ school says is to get a full length mirror for your child’s room. Have her stand in front of it every morning, and say whatever powerful thing you like to say in your family. Ours is “I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will praise God in all I do.” Then have her raise her hands to praise God and look to see if her midriff is still praising God. Have her bend down, lean forward, whatever movements she might make during the day — do in front of that mirror and make sure every part of her is still praising God.

    It makes a lot more sense when it’s vocalized, so I’m not certain I’m making it clear here. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this so much.

    1. Love this Misty! Such a practical and fun way to “cover all the bases”.

  5. Thank you for this, Lynn. Just because it’s on a rack in the trendy store does not mean it needs to go on our girls’ body!!

  6. I just wanted to say that this is great! I am a college student and went through a fase in my early teens when I would wear clothing that my parentss always said showed a little too much. Then I gave my heart to the Lord and realized the truth to their words. I still struggle today with finding modest clothing in regular department stores but it is there. I want to point out to any girls who read this article too that you don’t have to dress immodestly to get guys attention. Give your heart to God and he will bring the perfect man along who will love you for your heart. I have been with my now fiance for 2 years and I know without a doubt that he loves me for me.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Samantha!

  7. I have 5 daughters and appreciate this article! However, I have tried and tried and I do not buy immodest clothing for my daughters. The main one I battle now is 16 1/2 yrs old, going on 18!
    If I say her jeans are too tight, she accuses me of accusing her of being fat.
    It doesnt help when the junior departments make skinny and extra skinny jeans. arrrgghhh. then you have to go up about 2-4 sizes, since my daughter will not shop in the “misses” section.
    Do you know any good books for girls to read? Sometimes hearing this message from people other than parents, they listen to! Also ,I wish more youth groups would talk about it and enforce it!
    But nothing excuses a parent from at least trying. Now that I have, I need some more resources to back me up! Thank you!

    1. Amy…this article is taken right out of my book for teen girls called “His Revolutionary Love”. As you said, maybe reading it from me would help! I’d be blessed to see you try it!

  8. we don’t have the finances to buy our clothes. we take, gratefully, what is given to us. as our eldest daughter is growing and maturing (she’ll be 13 next month), we’re finding it harder to be gratefull as the clothes are TRENDY (aka immodest)… we pick out the most modest ones, but it’s slim pickin’s. compared to her peers she does see herself dressed modestly.
    what do you suggest?

    1. Mama T…I am not sure what to suggest. Maybe you could give those who hand you down the clothes my book and they would be convicted to become more modest 🙂

    2. Tank tops should be just as much of a staple in the wardrobe as bras and underwear. A simple tank top under a low cut top will get the job done and they are fairly inexpensive. They also add style by layering and covers up what girls shouldn’t be revealing.

  9. CONNIE GUZMAN says:

    Thanks for this !
    I just have a comment and that is .
    That it is SOME of the MOMS who dress inappropiatly that have then girls who do as they see not what is said to them .
    That is why we have little girls dressing as if they are 21.
    And they are buying with the money that we as MOMS give to them .
    We as women of GOD must be there for them in prayer.
    And as a EXSAMPLE of what a GIRL , WOMEN of GOD should look like .
    For are we not made in his likeness ?
    blessings to all

  10. Wow that heart illustration is awesome. I have an 8 almost 9 year old and a 5 year old girl. That illustration will be tucked away and used when necessary. It is a good way to explain the way a male’s mind works.

    1. I feel certain I heard it from somebody somewhere, I just can’t remember. Possibly it was Dannah Gresh. She has a lot of good materials.

  11. Great advice, Lynn! I love the idea of the heart drawing to illustrate how guys (and others) “complete the picture.” There ARE appropriate clothes out there…it takes some looking to find them, but with the right attitude, our girls will find them.

    1. You are right, Shelly, it does take extra time to find them, but they are there!

  12. Jenny Randle says:

    Nancy Leigh DeMoss has excellent material on modesty, too. We need as many women as we can get to speak out on this issue. My daughter and I did a modesty conference at our church a couple of years ago, but before we did, we surveyed the men in the church. We asked questions about how they’re affected by different aspects of the way women dress. It was eye-opening. A lot of the women came to the conference because they wanted to hear the results of the survey. 🙂 My daughter is now in seminary and has recently stepped out in faith to start a ministry that reaches out to teenage girls and young adult women. Over the past few years, she has been writing a curriculum based on Proverbs 31 that teaches the teenagers and single women how they can apply those verses to their lives now. She has taught Bible studies based on the curriculum in 3 different churches. It took at least 2 lessons to cover the modesty topic because the girls were so interested in it. Thank you for writing this article, Lynn. We need to get the word out!!

    1. Jenny, that is so wonderful about your daughter! I pray so very often for the Lord to send more and more women who will invest in the girls of this generation. They want it; we just need to step up!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.