You know, I’m not sure what kind of guy you found attractive or still find attractive today. From as early on as I can remember, I’ve always been drawn to really masculine guys. Well, except for that time when I dated a guy who weighed less than me. Yeah – that was a bad time in my life. A really insecure time in my life. He often made comments about my thighs, which was only one of the signs that I shouldn’t have dated him! Because of my insecurity, I choose to eat grapefruit for lunch every day, thinking that would fix what was “wrong”. You know, to this day, I still can’t eat a grapefruit! Not a good call.
Ok back to the guys. I bet this attraction to very masculine guys had something to do with my dad. Very quiet; no, that is an under statement. Extremely quiet; my dad never really said much. In fact, he didn’t tell me he loved me until I was in my early 20’s. But inside, I knew something about Dad: he had grit, guts. Quiet, but strong. Very strong.
And it wasn’t just his physic. His character was strong too. If he gave you his word, he would never break it. Lie? No way. Huge, but gentle, I never feared he would hurt me. Not with his hand. Not with his words.
I guess this is why that is the type of guy I was drawn to as well and I guess that is why I didn’t do much dating in high school. Do you can agree that the pool of that type of guy, especially when growing up, seems small? As in virtually non-existent as a teen? I wondered why.
I really don’t want to depress you or your girl, but I did a Google search, because you know everything on the internet is true, right? 🙂 I typed in “At what age do guys mature?”
The answers, well they might just bum out our girls. “A National Institutes of Health study proposes that the part of the brain that restrains risky behavior and thinking skills is not fully developed until the age of 25.” That’s the brain. When it came to emotions, the top three posts all said 43! 43 years old is when the male brain is fully mature when it comes to emotions.
When I was in middle school, I was taught, “Make your list of what you are looking for in a guy and don’t settle.” I’m not saying that is not true; you should. It’s a great idea and it will help our girls not settle for any one who just asks them for a date. But here is the deal: for guys to be the guys that match up with their list, chances are they’re probably not in school!
With that in mind, we need to challenge our girls to make a switch.
To bravely switch from looking for the guy to becoming the girl.
Take a second and think. Think about the time, energy and emotions you see her spending on the guy – yeah, that one – the one who isn’t close to being mature yet. Not that it’s his fault – it’s not. But still…she’s thinking about him how much?
I can only guess how much, because I know how much time, energy and emotions I wasted. Lamenting, wishing, crying…about a guy. That guy that wasn’t into me and was into someone else.
What if, like I am challenging you to teach her today, I had made the switch? What if I had invested all that time, energy and emotions in me? In becoming the best me I could be? The best me God created me to be? Who would I have become? What could I have done when I was a teen?
This week, let’s check out some really cool people who invested their lives becoming the person God created them to be ask yourself, and ask your girl
Who am I becoming?
Take a few moments today to write out who you want to be; how you would want others to describe you. Share this list with your girl and encourage her to write her own.