WWT – How to Teach Your Child to Handle Rejection
After a weekend of speaking, yesterday I piled through my backed up email. There, buried under the junk, was a name I didn’t recognize. Within seconds, tears streamed down my face.
I didn’t see it coming; thought I was moving forward. But there it was. In black letters…rejection.
My first reaction…text my husband. As I crafted the short message, I felt a pang in my heart. “You are doing the exact thing you teach others not to…running to someone, someplace or something to fill the love gap in your heart.” The Holy Spirit nugged me to put down my phone and sit with Him.
There, in my favorite chair, a cried a bit and reaffirmed with the Holy Spirit that God was and will be in control over every detail of my life.
Then, I texted my husband and son to share the news. “Was rejected for now. Know God has what is best for me.” When my daughters came home, I shared the same.
Yesterday I was reminded: God doesn’t just want me to realize He is the only one who can fill the love gap in my heart. He doesn’t want me to only tell my children this truth. He wants me to walk out having Him fill my love gap every day with my children. By living it out, I am showing my family what it means to have Jesus fill that love gap.
Rejection is hard on any level, whether it is in our careers, family relationships or with our daughter and the crush as school. We can teach our children how to handle rejection by first running to Jesus ourselves when we are rejected. When we find comfort in the Comforter, when we teach another how to find comfort in the Comforter. Share with your girl how you choose to run to Jesus when you are hurt, how to find scripture to heal the wound and to speak the truth when the enemy is spewing his lies. Also share with your child when you haven’t run to Jesus; when you have chosen to run to someone, someplace or something and the consequences that ensued.
Often, when we are processing trials in our lives, our children are not around to see how we handle rejection or the fight we fight is an internal one. Don’t miss these opportunities to teach your child how to overcome. Share with them the prayers you prayed, the verses you read and the thoughts you had to dismiss in order to be filled by Jesus and His truth. Take the time, to stop and pray and find scriptures together!
Here, in the nitty gritty of life, we teach our children to be overcomers and to never go one minute with an empty heart. You, mom, are your child’s best teacher and the Holy Spirit is your’s.
Do you need help finding scriptures and prayers to pray?
“Devotions for a Revolutionary Year; 365 Days of Jesus’ Revolutionary Love for You” can be that tool and would be the perfect gift for the young woman on your Christmas list! As a bonus, Proverbs 31 Ministries is offering all of their resources at a 25% discount through the month of November! Give a great gift and support a great ministry all at the same time! (The discount will show up when you check out!)
Lynn, this is so good. Thanks for share honest, messy faith today!
That’s the only kind 🙂
Lynn- you spoke to my heart on a day when I need to be reminded to smile… Today would’ve been my mothers birthday. Last month she won her battle with cancer and entered Heaven. I watched her faithfully follow Christ throughout her 11 year journey. A month before she passed we had a final conversation- there was no anger or fear in her words or emotions. She was a woman who praised God for the time given her. She set the tone for her daughters and has taught us more about death and faith in Christ than anything or anyone I know. On a day I thought I’d be falling apart, I smile because I remember her words and example. A mothers attitude does indeed set the tone! Thank you for reminding me today of the gift she gave to me. Blessings to you, Tracy Isaiah 41:10
Tracy, you have made your mother and your Abba Father very proud today!
Lynn, I love how you’re real about your faith and your temptations. When I feel sad and want to run to something or someone, I pray, “God, fill me up. Fill all my aching, broken places. You’re enough.”
Sorry about the painful rejection. I once heard Dena Dyer refer to rejection in writing as God’s redirection. Sending hugs. ♥
Debra…how did you know if had to do with writing? (wink) I’ve been down this road before and know that His best is best…just not so much fun sometimes 🙂
Oh so rejection sensitive…and so proud of you for doing the exact right thing. That is my goal…to sit with him instead of a flurry of emails or texts…or stuffing my emptiness with food. Thanks for a living example of what we really need to do with rejection. Hand it over!
I have a hard time talking with my daughter. I bought her the devotional of Revolutionary love for her but she doesn’t want to read it. Her father never comes to see her or call her so she knows rejection. I want her to know that God is her real father and she should turn to him for everything but I feel I am not making progress with her. Any suggestions?
Angela, when we feel sad or rejection, most of the time what is best for us we don’t want to do i.e. read books about Jesus’ love for us.
There is no easy solution but here are somethings that might help:
1) Pray, pray, pray – She needs to understand the perfect love the the Perfect Father and only He can reveal that to her.
2) Use your words to communicate your love for her. Love just because she is here; just because she is your girl. Not based on her looks, accomplishments, etc.
3) Read the devotional to her. I read the book to my girls each morning while they eat their breakfast. Recently, I added reading out loud, “The Power of a Praying Parents” too.
4) Pray out loud over her…maybe before she goes to bed each night.
5) Share with her when you turn to Jesus so she can see what that looks like.
I hope this helps!
Lynn, You touch my heart so much. I feel sometimes I am that young girl rejected by men and missing the love of my Father who passed away back in 2001. I love Daddy so much, and I am struggling with feeling like a Good parent. My daughter has left my home to live with her Dad. She chose sin and she doesn’t want anything to do with being around me. She got into drugs and sex and she blames all her choices on me. I am a working single parent with two kids girl 16 and boy 10. I am struggling financially and God has helped me immensely. However, I lost my daughter in the process to her Dad. Somehow her Father has convinced her that she needs His (her father’s soul approval). She has given so much up just to make her Dad happy, mean while she dropped out of her dance team at church which she is spirtiually filled with, and she also dropped out of choir which she loves to worship God. I just want her to find God again. So God has implanted this book as a seed to save the other girls in the Dance Praise Team and Spring Valley Church of God, as well as for my Daughter, Marisa Bonilla. I am failing my own relationship with my Fiancee, and I may lose him because I don’t how to trust someone enough to just love me completely. He loves me and I contradict him so much, and don’t want to hurt him. Unfortunately, that is all I do. God has put him in my path to teach about God and I have just been horrible. I want to exemplify God, and I want to love openly without fear. I was abused by my brother at a very young age, and my daughter then became the predator. I love her,my son, and my fiancee so much, and I want to be able to be an excellent Mom, and Wife someday. Can you please help me with some building blocks for me. I always go back to God, and I know the My Dad would never want me to be sad, but I feel like a failure and it hurts deeply! I just pray that God changes me and I am able to get passed this pain and hurt. I thinks the book can help both my family get back together with my fiancee. God is amazing, and He has been with me through all this, I just had to reach out to you because God put this book in my path, and I must work on keeping our Dance Praise Team together even if My daughter has chosen to be with her Dad, and chose Sin!
You are amazing, and I hope God blesses you always!
With love, and sincerity,