After the Anger Comes…

The winners from Wednesday’s Wisdom Tips of the CD message, “Beyond Facebook Friends” are:

Bekky who posted at October 2, 8:27 a.m.

Dawn who posted at October 2, 8:36 a.m.

Janice who posted at October 2, 10:21 a.m.

Jeanie who posted at October 2, 12:53 a.m.

Andrea Stanley who posted at October 3, 5:43 a.m.

Just shoot me your full name and address to [email protected] and I’ll get them right out!


“I really hate it when I loose my temper with my daughter.”

Such was the topic of conversation between my dear friend, Julie and I. We’ve both been there. Lost it when we wish we had found self-control instead. Julie put to words her journey with dealing with anger…

“The  hutch glass rattled. Windows shook.  Doors slammed.  Not a great ending to what was supposed to be a special one-on-one with my daughter.  Off she went to her room tears streaming, yelling “Mom, please stop! I just need to be alone.”

ME?  I stormed in circles; dusting, moving, fidgeting, yelling, seething with anger.

I did it again.  And I knew it. What was intended to be a great conversation, only struck a cord with me, deep where my hurt was.

My reaction to hurt?

Anger! Rage!  My instincts said “bite back”!

My bite can be horrible.  I know right where to bring the most hurt and with pride barreling behind it, that bite can hit someone I love hard.  This side of me is so ugly; I loathe when I allow it to come out.

Now what?

My heart still pounding, the pride still raging, the anger so apparent you could have seen it in my eyes.  Still, there was something different.  This time I saw it.  I could see how wrong I was.  I could hear the words I screamed so angerly.  I knew it… I was wrong.

I wasn’t just kind-of wrong.  I didn’t just sort of mess up. This one was big.

Slowly and quietly I walked to her room.  The door creaked and I looked around the edge.  I still didn’t know how to begin the healing of this wound I had just created.  The sword of my tongue lashed out and cut deep. I needed to make amends.  Would she hear me?

Carefully opening her door, I looked at her, laying on her bed just staring.  I wept.  I walked up to my sweet 17 year old daughter. “I’m sorry.  I was wrong.  The way I handled everything from start to finish.  I was wrong.”

She looked into my eyes – tears sitting on the ledge of her eyes and told me she forgave me.  Now I needed to forgive myself.  More importantly, I need to pay attention to the Holy Spirit that tried to stop me.  I need to choose the hard thing and stop – rather than let that “old Julie” in me show up.

I have messed up since that time, but am working hard to humble myself before I allow the old me to come out with her old tricks.  My daughter and I are learning the tools that work when it comes to hurt so that the next time I handle myself in a way that doesn’t hurt the person that I love.

Proverbs 29:23 says” Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor”.

I want to choose humility.

We’re not always as parents and we’re never when we choose anger and rage.








  1. It takes courage to be so honest.

    “Confess your faults one to another that you may be healed.” (James 4:16)

  2. Megan Reddy says:

    This was me just a few weeks ago with my 16 year old daughter. So hard but so freeing saying, “I’m so sorry, I was wrong”. Especially when you know they could own up to being wrong too but they don’t see it.

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