But I Can’t See!

Illuminating a small circle just in front of my feet, the flashlight provided safety and direction for only our next step. Rose and I attempted to get in our morning walk before the kid’s day of school began. Anxiety eventually gave way to comfort as our discussion of the day ahead evolved. We knew if we just kept putting one foot in front of the other, the light would lead us in the right direction. Just take the next step…

“Come and you will see.” “Follow me.” These were the only words Jesus spoke to the disciples as He called. He didn’t sit them down; revealing to them what the next three years would hold. He knew they would become overwhelmed; possibly even turn around if they knew the future. He chose to keep it simple. “Follow me” was all that he said. Take the next step…

As a teen, I wanted to know my future. Would all my dreams come true? What college would I attend? Would I work in a church; be married to a pastor? Would I live in Iowa near my family? Jesus knew all along the answers to those questions. I didn’t go to college. I don’t work in a church nor did I marry a pastor. I have lived in the Carolinas the majority of my adult life. He knew. In wisdom, He chose to only reveal to me enough; enough light to take the next step.

Sometimes, I catch myself again wishing I could see my future. Will I get the opportunity to publish more than one book? Will my children marry spouses passionate about Jesus? Will my husband and I enjoy a long retirement together?

Again, Jesus knows. He knows which answers are “yes” and which ones are “no”. He knows when and where to reveal my next step. My part once again will simply be to take the next step.

All along the way I am learning; learning to trust. When I was younger, I would not have understood that the “no’s” were simply stepping stones to His amazing “yes”. I had to learn, in the dark: trust and obedience lead down the path to blessing.

Every once in awhile, a thought comes to the surface; something like a “pre-disappointment”. What if I never get to live in the mountains? What if my kids grow up and live far away? What if they are not passionate about Jesus? What if I am all alone one day? That’s when I have to silence the “what if’s”. I remember Jesus’ words: “Follow me” and get back on the path that is flickering just ahead…and simply take the next step of trust. To walk away from worry by expressing my concerns to Jesus, partnered with words of surrender to His ability to take care of each and every step.

The dark can be frightening, Jesus. Sometimes, my ability to trust seems so much smaller than the step that I need to take. Help me to build a history with You. A history with You will help me to trust You over and over and over again. I want that. I put my trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.



  1. The dark can be scary, filled with so much unknown. But it can also bring freedom when I follow the "light"

    Thank you for that reminder Lynn. The reminder that God is giving me just enough light for the road ahead of me.

    Not so much that will freak me out – but just enough.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I too have been a victim of abruse sexual mental phycaicl, for years it left me not able to open up or trust, in relationships im very insecure, alway had problems speaking infront of people or crowds.. ive tried for many year to overcome these strongholds by reading gods word. why is it that i stell have this problem, iam now 50+ and my fear is that if i dont overcome god wont be able to use me the way he wants to. how do i surrender to him all, i,ve tried over and over daily, im willing but i dont know how!!!! will u pray 4 me to be free.

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