Help for Meddlers Trying to Let.It.Go.



If you are joining me here today from my Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today, welcome!

I am guessing you’ve stopped by because like me, you struggle with being a meddler. Maybe you’re tempted to check your child’s Twitter or Facebook several times a day – or several times an hour – just to see “what they are up to”.  (Ok…I’m working on that!) And maybe like me, you simply take it too far at times!

Maybe I simply need to unfollow my kids on all their social media, but as I was discussing this issue this past weekend with my sister Janet she reminded, “Ignorance is not bliss.” I completely agree.

So, as moms, wives, sisters, aunts, grandmas, employees, employers – in all our roles – where do we find the balance between being in the know and being over the top?

Jesus is challenging me ask Him. 

We have to ask Him because each and every situation is different and He holds the answer.

When I want to ask my child to take down that picture from social media – ask Him.

When I want to confront a friend with a rumor I heard – ask Him.

When I want to tell my husband to have a conversation with our child – ask Him.

Before I do anything that involves others, I need:

ask for prayers to pray before I ask for words to say. 

For those of us who are perpetual meddlers, this might mean going from being a “talks too much” to “doesn’t talk at all” for just a bit! Go through a time of retraining our brain to stop and pray before we speak. I might have to leave the room, shut my Facebook and Twitter, step away from my cell phone – a physical step so I can obey God and become the woman He wants me to become.



My friend Karen Ehman has written a terrific study to help us do just that. Let.It.Go. Maybe it is just the resource you need to help you to Let.It.Go.





  1. Melinda Piper says:

    I am struggling with my relationships with my husband and my 11 year old daughter.

  2. Tara Bennett says:

    I am struggling with my parents. I am trying work on my relationship with my childrens father and my mom does not agree. She is angry and not talking with me. I am trying do what is best for my children. He is 10 hrs away and wants come back to be in their lifes. and I just trying take it one day at a time.I just have let go of the angry I have with him and my parents and try to focus on my children.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Tara, those are the words of a wise woman, “I am just trying to take it one day at a time”. Jesus, pour your wisdom according to James 1 into Tara. Give her the insight she needs to do what is right for her kids. Please help her discern the voices she needs to listen to and those she does not. Amen!

  3. Judy Strom says:

    “Prayers to pray, before words to say” have really got me to thinking about myself and how I react in situations that I have no business being involved in. Thank you for making me think and wanting to change.

  4. Jennifer holmes says:

    Im definitely in. Praying to embrace God’S will. Struggling not to bulid bitterness towards my husband who verbal abuses my kids and I .

  5. Karen Wood says:

    Sounds like this this book is one anyone can reap from!!! I’m in!!! Speaking b/4 praying, thinking has always been an issue for me……even w/o this book, this has been a great reminder 4 today to PRAY b/4 I respond! Thx!

  6. Carrie Walser says:

    I do so struggle with this! I have gone from shy, introvert to helpful&caring and straight ythrough to being the Miss Fix-it, or nosy neighbor or neighborhood watch dog. I speak before I think and I know I need prayer!

  7. I’m in! I love your blogs and I’d love to win this book. I struggle all the time with trying to control everything around me. This book would do me a lot of good.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Thank you for your sweet words, Carol! I love the encouragement 🙂

  8. I’m sooooo IN!!! This is ME you are describing!!! Need prayerful help in embracing LET IT GO!!!


  10. Yesterday I was talking to a friend or, more truthfully, venting to him, about a family member. I was sharing my frustrations about this person’s lack of care to those less fortunate. I thought this person should be doing more. My friend was telling me that I needed to LET GO and turn this family member over to God and let Him work in that family member’s heart. To pray about it so I wouldn’t keep getting myself upset. Today I received your devotional. I believe God is wanting me to address this issue of control and meddling with Him. To learn to LET GO and to trust Him to work in the lives of others. I would love to win a copy of the book. It may be just what I need to begin overcoming this weakness.

  11. Oh that we learn to ask Jesus before we speak! Thanks so much for that word of encouragement today. I think I’ll post that around our home! Would love to have a copy of the book! Thanks so much!

  12. What great words of wisdom. I struggle with my 15 year daughter. I worry she will make the same mistakes that I did and I want to protect her… but many times it is meddling… I need to let go and let GOD be in control.


  13. Nancy Konrad says:

    I’m in…I would love to read and take to heart the wise words in “Let It Go”! I have a very hard time letting it go and need to change that part of my life. I have been working on it. Your book sounds perfect to help me continue down the path to healing!

  14. OUCH!! Let’s just say your devotional this morning is right where I am at with both my daughters, for different reasons. Would love to learn the balance!

  15. Kathi Whittamore says:

    I’m in!!!

  16. Love this one! I have meddled in my kids social media way too much and it has severly affected my relationship with my 17yr old daughter. I needed to hear this one today. Thanks soooo much!!!

  17. nancys1128 says:

    So far our 13 y.o. daughter is mostly just full of voice-tone. While she has passwords on her phone and iPod we require that she tell us what they are. So far we are blessed that she is very open about things, but I fully realize that can change without warning. Being equipped ahead of time will make dealing with anything that much easier. Being armed is much more stress-free than learning in the trenches.

  18. I struggle with my sister because she is so forceful and gets hurt.
    She means well but just doesn’t really listen. I want her to Let it go!
    She doesn’t know how . Perhaps this book will help me to learn a great
    Response and help her too. She really loves the Lord and she is very passionate
    But also gets very angry. I hope this book will help.
    Thanks Lynn for caring to write it.

  19. Struggling with my Mom who is in the hospital. I want to talk to her about her life choices without seeming as though I am meddling….

  20. trying to retrain my brain to ask for guidance before I react. would really like to read this book.

  21. Kimberly myers says:

    My three children are 22,26&31. I personally don’t use any social media but my children do,as well as various friends and these friends will call or email me when they see/read something they feel it’s important for me to know . My answer to my friends is usually the same , if they want me to know my children will tell me.and many times my middle son uses Facebook to pull pranks on his friends all in good humor!! While my oldest daughter uses face book to post about my granddaughter and my son-in-laws battle with colon cancer. My trust in our Heavenly Father is that he will use Facebook,Twitter, Instagram all to hid glory and more people young & old will see Jesus Christ love between all the chatter .

  22. Shara Livingston says:

    I am struggling with giving my 14 year old daughter space and giving my husband space with his children from a previous marriage.

  23. Thank you for this inspirational message.
    Prayers to pray before I speak words to say.
    I’m In.
    May the Lord continue to bless you with knowledge and wisdom to share with us daughters of the King.

  24. Katie Rettig says:

    I am working on how to “speak love in truth” when it is needed. I don’t want to cause anymore of a rift between us but I want to “help” and I realize there is a difference. I have been praying for weeks about whether to say something or not, and if so, what. I want to protect my baby sister! If you can just pray with me for wisdom, that would be so appreciated.

  25. I am also a Pastor’s wife. I facilitate a monthly breakfast with the wonderful ladies of my church. Many ladies from other churches attend as well. We spend time in discussions and conversations about various subjects and topics that are “kin” to MEDDLING and we are learning to LET.IT.GO! I feel sort of a responsibility for these ladies and their hearts. Just this morning, as I perused my FB page. I saw a comment by a beautiful young woman who is a fairly new member of our church and a regular attendee of our breakfast. I have been uplifted and blessed by the intentional steps this young woman has taken to grow in Christ. Today, she used an expletive to begin her comment. I was a bit taken back (and I will admit, I do not know if her prior to coming to Christ, she regularly used expletives). I DID NOT ASK THE LORD if I should make a comment. I am often confronted with this question and find MOST TIMES I choose to NOT make any type of comment (rebuke, encouragement, etc.) for I have “felt” the Holy Spirit was leading me to NOT saying anything. Don’t want to appear as being nosy or a MEDDLER. (Oh, rarely do I send out requests to be friends ESPECIALLY with those younger than I so she requested I be her friend on FB; We have shared some absolutely wonderful messages, scriptures, etc. between the two us for ALL to see regarding her growth in Christ. She is a ROMANS 1:16 young woman) Anyway, today I did not rebuke but chose to type,”What’s that you say?” assuming she would know I was letting her know I noticed the expletive WITHOUT making a direct comment. She did not (or not at least yet) say anything to me but did continue to comment to others. My unrest is telling me that perhaps…I should have LET.IT.GO or I should have PRAYED and ASKED HIM before writing my comment. Nevertheless, I confessed it and feel forgiven and cleansed…Praise the Lord

  26. I don’t really meddle in my kids’ social media, but in other areas of their lives.

  27. I struggle with what to say to my step children about what they post on social media and it puts distance between us. I don’t want them to shut me out but I want to help them and keep them safe. My husband wants me to leave them be and let them handle it but I don’t want them hurt in the process. Its a struggle.
    Thanks for the words of wisdom. I am working on asking God before I speak. Time to teach this old dog a new trick!

  28. I am SO in!!!! With a husband, six children (5 oldest are girls!), church roles, community volunteer positions, working my associates degree, and so many activities…it is hard for me to know when I really do need to LET. IT. GO. Would love to win Karen’s book!

  29. I’m in….Here’s to trying..yet again!! 🙂

  30. My husband, daughter and a friend.

  31. Linda Deleon says:

    I need to learn how to let things go and learn to better communicate with my husband and family. I need to start asking instead of telling.

  32. Annette D. says:

    Boy, did I see myself in this today!! I am a meddler.. I should probably repeat, repeat, repeat…

    Whether it’s with my kids, at work, etc. I want what’s “fair, and “right” and “honest” and we just don’t get that al the time…. 🙁

    thank you for todays message.

  33. My son. I’m really struggling with watching him make, what I feel, are the wrong choices. He is 21 and can’t see the big picture.

  34. I’m in and I definitely have a “Let it go” issue!!! Thanks for the great reminder!!!

  35. Lynn Swanson says:

    Am I meddling? Where is or what is the line?

  36. Elizabeth says:

    I felt like this was written for me! Praying to learn to pray before I tell what I think! Twnks

  37. I am a meddler! Thanks for reaching me today!

  38. I’m in (and guilty of doing this, too).

  39. I’m in!!! I struggle every day to want to help people when its not my place to do so. I need to stop trying to do for others when it’s none of my business.

  40. Elizabeth says:

    I’m in! Thanks for the opportunity!

  41. Mythyl T. says:

    I’m in! Thanks so much for your wonderful encouragement and challenge. What a blessing!

  42. Shannon Horton says:

    I could write a book about why I need this!
    I’m in!!!! Thank you! xoxo

  43. Mary-Margaret says:

    I’m in! Thank you!

  44. I’m in! Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy of this book. I struggle with my grown son who lives with us and his two daughters my grandchildren! I tell myself I’m an advocate for the girls. My son has a terrible time with his ex-wife and I find myself in a mothers role a lot. I am a meddler but I tell myself it’s
    because I love them. I’m beginning to see maybe it’s not so loving! But i do love them so much. They feel their mom doesn’t love them……… I really need that book!!!! .'(

  45. Alexandria says:

    I’m struggling with a coworker! I’m in!

  46. Letting it Go = FREEDOM… would love this book 🙂

  47. Joy Linman says:

    I’m in! this was good for me to hear today because I have a situation and I am trying to figure out how to fix it! I don’t have to worry about it! Thanks for speaking to me!

  48. Jacqueline Scifres says:

    I am struggling most with my parents.

  49. Donna Torrado says:

    I’m in
    Would love to get let it go!

  50. Lynn, I am also a meddler, with the best of intentions… lol! I struggle with my daughter’s decisions for my grandsons. She is a great mom but sometimes I think I know more based on experience. I need to continue to work on supporting her as she learns by her own experiences. I would love to read Karen’s book. I need to Let it Go! Thx for chance to win! I am in!

  51. I’m in. Struggle daily with not praying before speaking.

  52. I am struggling in meddling in my daughters life. I want her to share and be open with me, but I see her shutting me out more and more 🙁 It’s been really hard for me and I keep reading her texts, I want to help her with relationships but she is not talking to me.

  53. Mamabethy says:

    I’m in! I really want this book. I need to pray before I speak.

  54. I am having issues w my 17 yr old son. Whe. Should I ask questions? When should I keep my mouth shut?

  55. Debi Schuhow says:

    Boy, that anxiety sure drives one to meddle! Getting easier to fall into God’s warm lap and let Him have it all.

  56. OMG! I need this sooooo bad. I’m struggling super bad right now with trying to not to with my spouses family. I seem to always want to put in my two cents to the point it may/ and has destroyed relationships. I would love to have guidance! (and prevent any hard feelings with my spouse as well as his family) There all we have.

  57. Mandy Phifer says:

    I missed this yesterday due to a migraine but I do think I need to read this. I care for my parents and have issues with my two older sisters. They don’t do anything but there is a lot of meddling going on. I do take care of my sons business stuff as he is a truck driver and sometimes that goes over into his personal. Thanks for the read. I’m in to read this book.: )

  58. Oh how I need to pray before I speak sometimes…with my kids and my husband!! I’m in! thanks for sharing!

  59. I’m in!! Thank you, what you shared has always been a struggle for me.

  60. Bonita Hardy says:

    I think its in our nature to want to fix things, to make things better when we see it going so wrong. Often we do learn the hard way that we need to pray and let God work in them and us to fix it. Holding our opinions back unless we are asked is the better way but not always the easiest.

  61. Cydni henson says:

    Having a harder time with my 3 teenagers. Praying to let go & trust God. Praying for the Holy Spirit to lead them.

  62. I’m in!!! Thanks for the words of encouragement!

  63. Darlene Dunlap says:

    “Let it go” is my word for the year. I have been too busy trying to fix my youngest son instead of letting God. This is difficult. One day and one step at a time and lots of prayer

  64. Tammy Donascimento says:

    I am a meddler always trying to help people and getting myself into a predicament. It is not just one person I am struggling with but the one person is ME. I don’t know when to step away and step back and Let God! I need help!!!

  65. I would love to be in the drawing. I also want to learn to go to Him instead of taking matters in my own hands.

  66. Thank you, you have answered my question. I also think its mom’s nature to meddle or more so be overprotective which sometimes leads to our disadvantage.
    I find myself asking my kids too many questions too often and this really irritates them, especially when they are away for many hours in the day even though I am well aware of who they with and where they are.

    I have now thru your email learn to always ask HIM. He knows and sees all things.

    Thank you for an awesome website

    Take care and God Bless

  67. Families could be changed by this, Lynn. That small pause could change how you address an issue or how you relate with those you love through a potential issue.

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