In The Know: Early Exposure; So Sexy, So Soon
How old are these girls??? I know for me, spring shopping with two teen girls is no easy task! Bootie shorts, skimpy suits and negligent necklines bring out the bear cat in this momma! In the society we are living in is just not going to help us when it comes to helping our daughters to hold back instead of hang out!
It’s bad enough when we have to deal with this with our teens, but the age of exposure seems to be getting younger and younger. The short hem lines, racing patterns and show girl styles are more than costumes; these are real, wear-them-to-school clothes!
Fox News quoted Dr. Georgia Witkin, a professor of psychology at Mt. Sinai, concerning the line:
“When a child mimics the look of a teenager or an adult, they are skipping an entire developmental stage. Most of the values that kids learn in order to be able to handle the challenges of adult life are during the ages of 5-12,” Witkin said. “This is when they learn how to judge and how they are perceived. If they begin to believe that their value is based on their looks or their sexiness, it sends a completely wrong message.”
Witkin said that it is not the clothing that is necessarily the problem, but the potential emotional repercussions of growing up too fast.
“Developmentally, they can’t feel what it means to want to be attractive to the opposite sex. For them, it’s dress up,” Witkin said. “But when they dress like an older sibling, there is the danger that there will be emotions that go undeveloped and unexplored.”1 To read the article for yourself, click here.
On his website, Dr. Phil gives some really sound advice on this hot topic that can send the sparks flying:
* Make sure you aren’t’ just dealing with a semantics problem and find out what your child really wants to achieve with her clothing. When your child says that she wants to look sexy, could she really mean that she wants to fit in with her friends or emulate one of her idols
* When you know what your child really wants, you need to express to her what you are really concerned about. If you’re worried about your child attracting the kind of sexual attention that she is not prepared to handle, explain that.
* Negotiate clothing choices in a way that allows each of you to get what you really want. Your child can feel fashionable and wear the latest styles without sending inappropriate sexual signals that you are concerned about.
* Stop blurring the boundaries of who is the parent and who is the child. You cannot make your goal to be your child’s friend. Part of being a parent is laying down the law and telling your child things she doesn’t want to hear.
* Make sure you and your spouse are in agreement with what is and is not appropriate for your child to wear. Get on the same page, and come together and say, “This does not match our values in this family. We’re not going to accept this definition.” Stylish does not mean sexually provocative. You buy the clothes. If you don’t approve of tight jeans and thong underwear – don’t buy them!
* Do not give in to your child if she gets upset. If she gets upset, she is just going to have to get over it. If she doesn’t listen, raise the price of poker. Your child has to know that every time she doesn’t listen, the negative consequences will be higher. Maybe last time she was only grounded for one week – now she’s grounded for two, etc.
I couldn’t have said it better myself! For the complete article, click here.
Let’s protect our children. They are only children once; they have a whole lifetime to make their own decisions about the way they dress once they leave our home.
Have you found a store that has hip clothes without the the hang out? Please share with us all so we can head their with our teens as well!
Can I just say A M E N!!!! I once was identified by how sexy and alluring I could be to attract men, which of course attracted the wrong men and wrong relationships. Growing up too fast… yep that was me! I have sons, which I joke about all the time that "I'm glad I don't have girls" because I know how I was, but it breaks my heart to know there are girls out there doing this and have no idea what's in store for them if they continue on this path. Parents… WAKE UP! Thank you for this post Lynn.
Amen, Lynn. Loving your posts!