In the Know – Going Green…and I’m not talking about recycling!

“Why do all the guys like her?” “She has plans every weekend! She never sits home!” “I wish I was as smart as her!”

Ever hear these types of phrases at your home? From the outside looking in, it is pretty easy to spot envy when we see it in our students. From their point, it might not be so clear.

A very common emotion, jealousy is simply a negative feeling. The important thing is what comes of it. Do we use it as a spring board to learn more about what is important to our student? Perhaps they are self-conscience about their weight. Maybe they have a fear of being left out. Envy may be a sign that she struggles with insecurity.

By asking questions that are packaged with real concern and not judgement, we can help our students learn the why to the emotions they are feeling. When it is still in this stage, we can come along side them, helping them to process their thoughts and feelings. We can support them as they work through changing their perspective from one of wanting what someone else has to being grateful for the great things God has given them.

This process may take time; it is a huge step in maturity and not an overnight fix. Since jealousy is often rooted in insecurity, this is a time to help your student grasp hold of the gifts and talents God has given them. Even more importantly, it is a time to point them to finding their security in the truth that God made them to fulfill their callings and has equipped them with everything they need to accomplish those.

One further thought: When you have feelings of jealousy, how do you process those?

This past year, I had an issue with my car. I had chosen years ago to get a very practical car that got amazing gas mileage. But this year, I began to wish for a “grown up” car; one that didn’t look like my teen’s. I had car envy! I decided to share this situation with my teens. By telling them about my struggle and how I was processing it, it gave my kids an opportunity to see that I am real, have struggles and find the strength to make the right decisions with God’s help.

Does your student struggle with jealousy? Maybe like me, you’ve struggled with jealousy as well. How have you handled this emotion with your student and  helped them to process this powerful emotion?



  1. I have twin 10 year daughters and I'm already hearing things like "why can't I have a cell phone? All my friends have one". Me: "First of all, not ALL your friends have cell phones and secondly, you are TEN!" Thank you for pointing out that jealousy stems from insecurities beecause it's from my more insecure daughter and I would have never put those two together. Now I can get tot the root of the problem and get a jump start on teen angst! This is a great article! Thanks!

  2. Shannon,
    I sure know when jealousy tries to raise it's ugly head in my life it is my own insecurity trying to surface.

    Praise Jesus…in Him there is no need for it! As Lysa TerKeurst says in "Made to Crave":

    "Remember who you are. You are a Jesus girl. You are not a failure. You are not incapable. You are not a loser. You are none of those things. You are a Jesus girl capable of victory. You are absolutely capable of being empowered. God loves you – head to toe. Remember who you are."


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