Is “the One” Really Out There?

As soon as we were old enough to watch Snow White, we’ve been taught to start looking for that day; that day when we’ll find “the One”.

Someday my prince will come
Someday I’ll find my love

As we get a bit older, the Prince looks a bit different. Us ‘80’s girls heard:

Lady, for so many years I thought I’d never find you

You have come into my life and made me whole

Wherever we turned, we were told there was a soul mate out there for us. We came to believe we were “less than” if we didn’t find the one who would complete us!

Even now, whether we’re 15, 45 or 75, the math equation never changes: “Guy + Me = Valuable”.

So, if the movies and songs are so right, how come when we find “the One”, we can still feel like we’re missing something? Why are there married people who are still lonely with an emptiness that marriage didn’t fill? Our hearts can get confused if our reality doesn’t match the movies. We can begin to question:

Maybe my “one” wasn’t really the one? So is the real one still out there?

In this place of uncertainty, our heart grows confused. If we find ourselves in this vulnerable place and one who appears to be “the one” enters the picture, it can be nothing short of disastrous.

Should I walk away from the one I thought was the one in order to have the new one?

How confusing!

Yet God has told us in 1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (ESV) We can know, without a doubt, that if we are confused, it is not God’s voice speaking to our hearts.

In my personal search to have my love gap filled, I have discovered there is, in fact, the One… for each and every one of us.

It is Jesus Himself! He’s the One our hearts are looking for!

In fact, He calls Himself the One! “to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:6 (NIV)

He’s the One who is filler of my lonely places; my misunderstood parts. No matter what is going on in my roller coaster heart, He is secure and stable. On the days when my relationship with my husband is everything I am looking for, He’s the One. On the days when the cart of marriage is jerking up and down, He’s still the One.

Oh the relief that Jesus brings to the rest of my relationships!  When I am turning to Him to fill the love gap in my heart, it takes the pressure off those who love me! While my needy heart could wear my family out, Jesus is a continual source of unconditional love pouring into me. Not the type of filling that is once and done, but an endless supply…each and every day.

Listen to His promise in John 7: 37 – 38, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (NIV)

Awwww…the refreshing that comes when we discover He is the One we are looking for!


Knowing He’s the One brings deep contentment to my heart!

Are there days when what I really need is a physical hug; a person in front of me to love on me? Absolutely! Physical touch is a necessary need for us as humans. I am so thankful for family and friends to meet this for me! What a relief my heart has experienced, though, since I found Jesus as my constant, day after day, One!



  1. It is so easy to shift our reliance of certain needs onto those around us instead of relying on Christ. It doesn’t take long for those needs to go unfilled because the people around us lack the ability to fill them.
    Great Post!

  2. So right Lynn. How many people are devastated when they find out the one they thought was their soulmate is so flawed (just like me!). I know I was. I thought my hubby was “it.” He’s an awesome man and I am so blessed, but there is only One who is perfect!

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