As I write this post, my sixteen year old and her good friends are in our kitchen teaching themselves how to make crepes. In the background – Demi Lovato’s new song “Skyscraper” is playing.
Check out these lyrics:
Skies are crying
I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence as it’s ending, like we never had a chance
Do you have to, make me feel like there is nothing left of me?
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like i’m made of glass
Like i’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper!
Like a skyscraper!
While these lyrics do have a positive ending, she will rise again, the power she is giving to another human tears me up! “Do you have to tear me like there is nothing left of me? You can take everything I have? Break everything I have?”
I am guessing that as a mom, you’re heart for your child is similiar to mine: I don’t want my daughter to be that vulnerable with a guy that she allows him the power to tear her; take everything she has. I am teaching my girls to protect their hearts; to guard the most valuable thing she has.
And you know what: I am teaching my girls that it is their responsibility to protect guys too.
Just last week, I was hanging out swimming with Madi, my 14 year old, when she blew me away with this statement: “You know, Mom, everything that we do is selfish.” I think I just sat there with my mouth hanging open for awhile. Did she just say that?
She went on to explain that even our best intentions are often filled with selfish motives. I serve another, because it makes me feel good when I do. I choose not to act the way she acts, not because I know it pleases God, but it makes me feel better when I don’t stoop to their level. I really think Madi is on to something.
So…let’s spring board off her thoughts. When our girls choose to dress a certain way for the sake of “style” or because “that’s what looks good on me”, if it is something that stirs the heart or mind of a boy…or a man…it is selfish. It is selfish because we…I mean, our girl, is thinking more of themselves than of the male who has to fight not to have lustful thoughts.
Friend, this one really starts with us. How do we dress? Do we think it is ok to show our bra straps? (It’s just so much easier not to have to figure out a way to hide them) Do we allow a little bit of cleavage to show saying “it is really no big deal”? These are real challenges for me; a challenge I had as a picked something to wear just this morning when I was already sweating in my bathroom and it was only morning!
Let it start with us. Let us start by being unselfish with our wardrobe and ask the Lord to help us to protect others and honor him.
Where do you struggle to be unselfish? Is it with your dress like me or in another area?