Poison Ivy, Hauling Logs and a Root That Won’t Go Away
These were the comments from my loving husband after asking me for at least the fourth time to stop helping by pulling at unknown weeds in our yard. Knowing my incredible magnetism for poison anything – poison ivy, poison oak, poison sumac – he had been trying to “encourage” me to please stop helping him with our yard. Seems the reaction of my body to these plants the past 11 years, (which I have no idea why God created them), was fresh on his mind.
First, he spotted me in my sleeveless shirt and flip flops hauling a wheelbarrow full of logs out of our natural area. “Honey, you need to have on covered shoes. Please leave that. I’ll get it.” But seeing the sweat pour down his face and glancing at the chainsaw that once again would not behave, I couldn’t just leave him out there alone could I? So I obeyed in part – I put on my gardening clogs and headed back to the wheelbarrow. Comment #2: “Lynn, you’re going to get something out here. Why don’t you pick up our bench and take it around the corner and we will stain it together when I am done?” I waited, watched and eventually took the bench around the garage, only to return to him again. This time, I tried hauling logs. Comment #3: “Lynn, you know you have to speak tomorrow and Satan would love nothing more than for you to get something and be sneezing from all this pollen. Please go in the house and take an allergy pill. I’ll be done in a minute.” Again, I obeyed and then headed back outside. Standing next to the said bench waiting for a fresh coat of stain, my eye caught an azalea bush whispering my name – “Lynn, please help me. I am caught up in these vines. Please set me free.” Now, who would let a struggling hot pink beauty go without help? I grabbed that vine with both hands and pulled as hard as I could. This time, the loving comments had much more umph behind them. “Lynn, what are you doing?! That is poison ivy! Try blogging – “I won’t listen to my husband!”
So here I sit, Saturday morning, sinuses running, wondering why I don’t listen to someone who loves me so? Why don’t I listen to someone who has my best in mind? What’s my problem?
I believe the root of it is not what you might suspect. It is an age old issue of mine – a terrible root that keeps wanting to produce it’s weed. It is performance. It is the need to feel valuable; to feel like I contribute – I am important. The need to hear Greg say, “Thanks for your hard work today.” This is the root I need to take by the throat and rip out!
Ephesians 5:21 reminds me this morning to submit to one another out of reverence. The Lord has sent this incredibly loving husband to me to help me to deal with these roots. Sometimes he is the voice that the Lord uses to speak to me; to remind me to not let this root take hold and grow green.
Anyone else out there struggle with value? With needing to perform so that you feel worth instead of reminding yourself that to Him you are everything! So much so that in Psalm 45:11 He says “The King is wild for you!” The Message.
I need to run, wipe my nose and take an allergy pill before heading to the softball fields. If you think of me today, please pray that despite my stubbornness the Lord will speak His incredible love through me to his precious ladies at Reconciling the World Ministries (and that my runny nose will today remind me that His love is enough for me!)If you struggle with these roots too, please click on comment below and I’ll pray for you while I pray for me!