Secret #3: Stomping out Insecurity

Pushing my desk from the middle of fun to the front of failure was just one more step in my journey. I’m sure somewhere on the planet, having your desk next to the teacher’s is some kind of honor, but in 6th grade in Mr. Lovegren’s class, it was anything but. Believing this move would finally be the trick to cure my out-of-control mouth, giving my desk this new location was his one last effort. I’m sure he was exasperated. Just more confirmation of the truth on my report cards, “Lynn needs to stop talking.

I began to see, the loud girl in me as a determent. I had to get rid of her, overcome the sigma. Boldness wasn’t something to embrace, be proud of or even a trait to be sharpened into something good. No, it was a flaw to purge, or so they wanted me to believe.

I still see that dark-haired girl, wishing so badly she could change and be like the more “put together” girls. I want to scoop her in my arms and tell her, “Loud isn’t a dirty word. Your boldness, your voice, your desire to share with others; it is a gift. Not something to detest, but a trait to be honed.”

1 Corinthians 7:7b says, “… But each has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” (NIV)

I love how God has told us, each has his own gift. Each of us; not one of us has He left out. Not one of us has He forgotten. God has given each of us gifts and His gifts are good! (James 1:17)

Do we see our gifts the way He sees our gifts? Are we recognizing the unique trait He has worked into our lives for His purposes?

Here’s where insecurity slides in; when we don’t see ourselves as God sees us. We listen to the voices that call our gifts the opposite of what God calls our gifts.

We see determents.

Yes, God has work to do in us before He can do work through us. But while He is busy, honing our rough edges, getting us ready to use His gifts, we have to do our part.

Secret #3: Fan the flame.

2 Timothy 1:6 gives us God’s wisdom on how to move out of insecurity and into the place where our gifts bring His good:

“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” Paul goes on to say, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Stomping insecurity and moving into God’s confidence doesn’t just happen. Look again at the instructions Paul is giving to move past insecurity: you fan into flame. You! God has placed His spirit, His spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (yes, even self-discipline) into you. Now you move!

Stop calling out your short comings and start fanning your flame. Use the power, love and self-discipline He is pouring into you, by His spirit to be used by God.

Take a moment and think of that thing in you that has been labeled as “bad”. Ask God, “Could this actually be a gift in me?” Ask Him for your next step; how does He want you to begin fanning this gift into His flame to light up your world.




  1. Dear Lynn,
    I know you write toward an audience of young women, and I started reading your post because I am raising a daughter. She is a senior in high school, 17 years old. She is also fabulous and wonderful!
    However, so many times, when I read your posts, the words reach right out to my own heart. Today, I’m thinking this may be because so many of us still have that “young girl” inside of us? That scared, looking for guidance girl, even though we’re grown women? Maybe we never fully get it, which is why we can keep renewing our relationship with God. Looking for His help. Getting it. Believing.
    Your words reach out to many. To who we are, or parts of who we are. Thank you.

  2. I never had the honor of sitting next to the teacher’s desk but for whatever reason, whenever parent/teacher conferences rolled around, talking got me in trouble. My parents were gracious in redirecting my enthusiasm without quenching my spirit. Later in life, when comments were made (I interpreted them as derogatory) about how much I talked, I chose to withdraw around certain people, being careful of what I said, listening to comments they made about others, and believing that, although they ‘tolerated’ me, they didn’t really like me. A couple years ago, my husband started asking some questions and challenged me to spend some time with God and ask Him what He saw in me. Hmmm…He took me back to a memory as a little girl, with all my exuberance, prancing around in a field. When I asked how He saw me, it was as if His head went back and the most glorious laughter came out of Him as He said He delights in me. He designed me in joy. The chains came off and the fear of rejection was removed. He also said there’s a time for exuberance and a time for quiet – know who you’re with, respect them, and rein it in a bit. Oh my…what a gift to my heart!

  3. Thank you for such encouraging words. We just need to seek God as to those “gifts” that he has blessed us with, that we use them for His glory. Oh my, you made me remember my time sin school that I was obstinate. Glad for grace.

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