Should I Say Yes or Should I Say No?

If you are joining me here today from Encouragement Today with Proverbs 31 Ministries, welcome! I hope you’ll join in our discussion.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Sometimes they are small. What should we have for dinner? Sometimes they are big. Buy that new car or wait. Sometimes they are clear. Sometimes they are not.

The one thing that is for sure; our decisions do not just affect ourselves. Our spouses, our kids, our co-workers, friends and neighborhoods all receive either benefit or hurt based on the decisions we make each and every day and you are affected by the decisions that others make every day as well. Is there a way that we can help to influence each other for good in these decisions, not just for their sake, but for our own?

Hebrews 3:13 says “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

We need each other! I need my friends to encourage me daily and my friends need me. Encouragement to follow God’s way and make decisions that are pleasing to Him and not to my flesh.

This is another reason why we need to find our place in the Body of Christ. We need to be encouraged daily so that in the choices we are making daily we don’t fall into deceitfulness. We need to be encouraged so that we don’t fall into the pit of lying to ourselves (I mean, who can better pull one over on us than ourselves? Maybe you don’t have this problem, but sometimes there are conversations in my head that go something like this, “It’s ok. You deserve it. Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Now if that isn’t deceiving myself, what is?!)

I need accountability; true friends who will call it what it is because of the love they have for me and because of the love they have for the One I represent. Friends who fear God more than they fear me.

Do you have this type of a friend who can truly help you in making the right decisions? Not just good decisions, but godly decisions? If so, how did you go about creating a friendship like this and what are the things you value most in her?



  1. Anonymous says:

    I'm sitting here at work…really not supposed to be online (Lord forgive me), but not really busy at the moment. Thank you for this. We do need that one friend that we can be accountable to. I had to call on one this morning and the great thing is SHE is not my YESFRIEND(telling what I want to hear all the time);-) She keeps it real and this morning she let me know "in love" that the very thing what I was calling her about was for my good. (which i knew…I just wanted someone to listen to me unpack, LOL!) She is a wonderful friend and I think that as time has passed just opening up and praying for one another and encouraging one another just became a natural thing for us. She is a Mighty Woman of GOD and the thing I admire about her most is she has the WORD of GOD always flowing out of her heart. As the Word says, Iron sharpens iron. So I don't mind when she gives it straight to me, because I know she has the WORD to back it up and you can't go wrong with the WORD.

  2. that is the BEST type of friend to have. AND requires the most backbone by me. Why? Sometimes what they say isn't what you want to hear..

    Lynn you asked:
    If so, how did you go about creating a friendship like this and what are the things you value most in her?

    My friendship has spanned over 30 years. It takes TIME and TRUST to develop this type of friendship. Watching and listening to thier lives and INVESTING in them. She was worth it…

    What I value most about her is probably that she truly wants the best for me and has never wavered from that. When I have made stupid desicions she doesn't beat me up – but walks with me out of them.

    And…. on the good stuff… she is one of my biggest cheerleaders!! So very thankful for my friend.

  3. Oh Lynn, this post has recalled memories and renewed longing. I had a friend who kept me accountable. It was the best friendship I ever had and so needed. Our friendship grew over many years until it became that safe place of trust. We would meet every other week for a few hours and share our hearts, dig into God's Word and pray. I will forever cherish that time.

    Unfortunately, we moved. We tried to keep it up long distance, but it became too difficult to co-ordinate times etc. I can't even begin to express how much I miss her and the times we shared. I feel that emptiness in my life and long for the Lord to develop another such friendship. So needed.

    Knowing He makes all things beautiful in His time, so I wait on Him,

  4. Do you have this type of a friend who can truly help you in making the right decisions? Yes I do.

    Not just good decisions, but godly decisions? Yes,often she will throw a verse at me and ask me if I am lining it up on the Word or my feelings.

    If so, how did you go about creating a friendship like this and what are the things you value most in her? Our friendship has spanned 10 years. We wrestled with telling eachother the truth for fear of approval and rejection and such but we never gave up on eachother. We finally came to the place where we chose to believe that the other had our best interest and that we are free to say what we really see going on…trust building trials walked together in the school of Christ made us FRIENDS!!!

  5. Wow…You all have some neat friends! God is good! Joy, I sure wish I could be that close friend for you; you are such an amazing woman. I know what you mean about friends that move. My dear friend also moved half way across the US. Phone calls just are not the same…

  6. Thanks so much for the devotional today – and for your blog post. My husband and I have been seeking God's direction here lately on many things – big and small. As you mentioned…it can be so hard to figure out if what I'm hearing is my heart or if it's Him.

    Thank you for the encouragement 🙂 Have a wonderful week!

    Kate 🙂

  7. Anonymous says:

    Lynn – your devotion on P-31 and your blog today speak directly to my heart as the mother of a 19 year old who is currently longing for a close friend like you describe in your blog. She is also at the crossroads that you describe in your devotion. She currently attends a small Christian college, which has been her heart's desire for many years. The Lord provided a wonderful scholarship for her – otherwise we could never have afforded this school. The program she is in is an excellent one. But unfortunately, due to her social situation, she is comtemplating transferring to a state school that is academically far below where she currently is – choosing it because it is "affordable." We want her to make the best decision – the one where she is at the center of God's will for her life. At our age, we have seen what happens when certain decisions are made – how they really do affect many people, and how we live with the consequences of our decisions. We pray that she makes the right one.

  8. Lynn, Thank you for the devo today! At one of those crossroads right now and your words were so needed – I need to listen to His word and not my heart, one that can be fearful and trust God to lead even when I don't know where I'm going!! And your words about friends are so good – the friend you describe is a good one and like the others have said definitely a relationship that takes time, but is so worth it!!

    Thanks for blessing me today,

  9. No, not near me anyways. It's something I've been praying and asking God for for our whole family for about 2 years now. Something I desire and crave.

  10. I really enjoyed your Encouragement for Today bible study today. I look forward to reading them everyday. Yours stood out today and I felt that I should say thank you. It really made me realize that God's word is the truth, not my feelings. And my struggles are God's struggles for he knew them all before I was even born. Thank you so much.

  11. As I was soaking in today's P31 devotional, another verse came to mind that has become near and dear to me, as it perfectly embodies the meaning of my son's name – "faithful at the crossroads". This is my prayer for my 13-year-old (and for myself!)from Jeremiah 6:16… "This is what the Lord says: 'Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.'"

  12. I've learned to be glad I don't know what's ahead on my path and to trust that God will work in every circumstance for the good. That lesson comes at the price of pain and learning through it that God is indeed worthy of my trust and praise. I'm trying to make some big decisions and am grateful that God has used you to remind me a lesson learned in the dark of winter. " Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."
    Psalm 119:104-106 God has been very faithful in providing my daily bread and lighting my path one day at a time. I need to spend more time in the word to discover the path He is preparing. Thank you!!

  13. Yes! I feel like my friends have all been carefully selected for me, and that God has placed each and everyone into my life for a special reason. I can't imagine a day going by without heartfelt fellowship or communication with my sisters in Christ!

    "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up". (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

    Nice blog Lynn!

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