Take It Up With Him
“But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served…? Or will it be the gods…i whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord…” (NLT)
“But Mom! Corrie’s parents let her…” I’m sure you’ve heard this come back before in your home. The current topic we’re hearing this one on is “going out” in sixth grade. Where do they think they are going to “go” anyway?
When my children were young, we taught them, “My “no” means “no” and that’s all you need to know!” I felt it was important for them to learn obedience without question. In my own life, there have been times when I’ve had to obey God without question. Sometimes, we just don’t know why He asks us to do something or why He says “no” to others. Several years ago, I felt very strongly that I needed to lay aside speaking and writing. I didn’t know if it was permanent or temporary, I just knew in my heart that that is what He was asking me to do. Little did I know, my husband would be accepting a very stressful position and one hundred of my attention would be needed at home. During this time, I was so grateful that I had obeyed, no questions asked.
As our children have grown older, it seems more important to share with them the “why’s” of our “no’s”. We give the specifics as to how we made our decision, hopefully using God’s word as the foundation. My goal at this stage is to teach them not only obedience, but also how to search God’s Word to find out what He has to say about the things we do.
Recently, my husband needed to correct one of my older children. He spent some time seeking out what the Word had to say on this particular topic. He then sat our child down and began the conversation by saying, “I want to share something with you. I’ve spent some time in God’s word, so if you don’t like any of it, you can take it up with Him.” It was amazing; zero arguing – zero blame shifting.
When your kids know that your standard is God’s standard, it carries a lot of weight. If His word is direct about the topic, then the reasoning is simple – God says so and as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Next time you need to approach your child, spend some time with the Lord first. Ask Him to give you His heart and soften your childs. Spend some time finding out what His word has to say and pray for the right time and atmosphere to share these truths with your child.
Dear Lord, Thank you for the clear instructions you left us in your word. It gives me so much encouragement to know that I am not parenting this child alone. Please fill me with the wisdom you promised to give to those who ask. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
What are some of the weaknesses you see in your child that you need to address Biblically? Disrespect for authority? Laziness? Do a search in a concordance or Biblegateway.com and learn what the Lord has to say about that particular topic. At a time when you are not angry or upset, share with your child what the Lord has to say on this subject.
What are some of the characteristics that you see in your child that please the Lord? Share with him/her from His word how blessed He is with their heart and actions.
Lynn, Thank you for emphasizing the importance to going to God’s truth in dealing with our teens and their behaviors.
My husband and I decided when our children were young (some still are) to direct them to the God’s word when it comes to rebuke, reproof and even praise (affirmation). Then, as you said, they see for themselves that they are or are not in God’s will.
There have even been some times when husband and I thought we were right on point in disciplining our children, and found through God’s word that we may be a little off balance. So, it can works both ways. 🙂