The Final Say

If you are joining me here today from Proverbs 31 Ministries’ Encouragement for Today, The Final Say, welcome! I’d love to stay connected through social media!

You can find me most often at Instagram. You can also find me on Facebook.

Have you gotten caught up in the swirl of conversation around the enneagram personality types? We have at the Cowell house and we are enjoying learning as much as we can about each other!

One of the most important things I have gained from learning more about my type, the 3, is that it has given me more freedom to be me and the ability to give freedom to others to be who God has created them to be as well. This freedom is changing the words I speak to others because our words are not mere words.

Our words hold power.

The Enneagram Institute says of a 3: “Threes learn to perform in ways that will garner them praise and positive attention. As children, they learned to recognize the activities that were valued by their parents or peers, and put their energies into excelling in those activities.” 

So how do you think we learn to recognize activities that are valued?

Through other’s words.  And this isn’t just about 3’s.

“What you say can preserve life or destroy it …” Proverbs 18:21 Good News Translation

You and I have the power to preserve: to keep alive or in existence, to make lasting a life.

You and I have the power to destroy: to injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin, or annihilate a life. 

With. Our. Words.

We can’t control what others say over us or about us. Even as parents, as much as we try, we cannot stop painful words from being said or about our children.

What we can control are the words we pour into ourselves and into those we love about what God says about us!

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26 (NIV)

“Because you are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:4 (NIV)

“The LORD your God is with you. He is a hero who saves you. He happily rejoices over you, renews you with his love, and celebrates over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah 3:17 (God’s Word Translation)

Today, I’m giving away a copy of Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You as well as a reminder necklace that says, “I am Loved”. Both contain God’s words that have the power to bring life to a young girl!

**** This contest is now closed. The winner is Danielle Peckham. Congratulations, Danielle!***







  1. Elsie Kappler says:

    As I am beginning to write this, I remember the saying”sticks and stones will hurt us,but words will not hurt us.” I do remember saying that some as a child. When I became a teenager,young adult and older, I realize unfortunately that I have remembered a lot of the hurtful words that were said to me. Also , of course since we are not perfect I have also said hurtful words to others and hurtful words do hurt. Thanks for your devotion and the scriptures that you gave which are what we have to cling to and the fact that God loves us more than anyone. I John 4: 11 ” Beloved if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” vs. 19 – ” We love Him because He first loved us.”

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I was that girl too, Elsie. In fact, I remember making fun of a boy in our class in 4th grade. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew that as the new girl at the school, the “cool” kids were doing it. I sure wish I was a “brave beauty” then. Thankfully, the Lord has given me His heart toward those who are hurting and I am now trying to be the advocate.

      In May, I wrote this article for “The Better Mom” – Teaching our Children to Overcome the Beginnings of Bullying.

  2. My 19 year old daughter struggles needing constant affirmation. She had a very difficult time in high school not being accepted by other girls. She developed an eating disorder believing the lies. She is beautiful on the inside and outside but is challenged constantly with her thoughts. I would love to bless her with these gifts. Thank you for the opportunity .

    1. Thank you so much, Dawn! Being a teen girl is beyond hard!

      The necklace would be perfect for her. Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You is geared toward girls ages 8 – 12. A great book for Dawn would be my book “His Revolutionary Love”. You can find it on my site at:

      His Revolutionary Love shows teen girls how a relationship with Jesus can meet their deepest desire — from the need for identity and significance to being seen by someone as beautiful.

      I share personal stories that don’t gloss over her frustrations and failings as well as stories from teens who are experiencing the pressures, difficulties, and confusion so many young women face. This book shows teen girls how Jesus’ unchanging love changes absolutely everything.

      In His Revolutionary Love, I help teen girls and their moms:

      * Create confidence leading to higher self-esteem by discovering Christ’s life-altering love.
      * Replace loneliness, rejection, and pain with acceptance, affirmation, and approval.
      * Make wise choices that lead to a fruitful future, rather than becoming a victim to emotionally-based decisions.
      * Shift faith in Jesus from just a parental influence to a personal, growing relationship.
      * Learn how to discern the voice and will of God.
      * Develop and stick to boundaries that protect the heart, mind, and body.
      * Communicate with guys and other girlfriends in a manner that’s healthy and positive.

      I hope you find this helpful!

  3. Good morning! I was raised by a mother that never said anything nice about me. She would let me know my feet were the size of boats and never said I was pretty. As I grew up, I luckily met an amazing Christian guy that lead me to Christ and showed me that God loves me! Though I still struggle with the words that were said to me as a child by my mom, I have been working on reading words from the Father in the Bible that mention how accepted, loved, secure, significant, important, chosen, perfect, complete, and so on everday.

    1. Ami,

      This breaks my heart that you didn’t hear the words you needed to from your mother. I am so very grateful God is all you said He was and more! We have a good, good Father!

  4. Carol Blakeley- Ritchie says:

    Hi Lyn
    I have a Granddaughter who is 6. Could you tell me if “Brave Beauty” is to old for her?
    Carol Ritchie

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Hi Carol, Thank you so much for asking about your granddaughter. The age I wrote Brave Beauty for is ages 8 – 12 years old. If she is already facing the challenges of growing up, it could be a great fit. If she is still in that beautiful season of simply being a little girl (which is so very wonderful) I might wait a year or two. 🙂

  5. Rachelle Craig says:

    Thank you for the chance to win, Lynn! I love Brave Beauty! I gave a copy to my granddaughter last year and she absolutely loves it! I co-lead a small group of pre-teen girls at our Church, and some of them come from less than desirable homes. This book would be a great thing to go through with the girls as another way to reinforce the love that Jesus has for them! We are on a break until August, but I am excited to tell my counterpart about Brave Beauty, and make sure each of our girls get a copy of this book! Thank you Lynn, for your dedication to helping pre-teen and teen girls know the love of Jesus!

    1. Thank so much Rachelle for all you do to invest in girls! I am so grateful. They need us so much!

  6. Jennie McConathy says:

    I’m surprised at your devotional. I don’t know how much talking you were doing, with whom, or why but it seems only right to be quiet in class. The teacher is in authority & you disobeyed. We must have self control.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my writing today.

      Yes, you are right. As a young, immature girl I did need to learn self-control, but that was not the message that my young, impressionable heart got. The messages I received were “something is wrong with you.” I simply needed someone … anyone … to help me see when I was young why God might have given me the desire to communicate so very much. It was because He knew … He would call me to be a speaker and writer for Him.

  7. This message came right on time for me today!
    I’ve been struggling with building my confidence after hurtful things that have been said to me over the years from past relationships. I’m reminding myself that God always has the final say. That His truth can help build me up so that others’ words will not tear me down.
    Thank you for this message.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Nicole, I am so very proud of you for seeing God’s words are His truth to us. All too often, the hurtful words said to us came from others who are so hurt themselves. Only through the Lord can we forgive and replace those words.

  8. Thank you for reminding us of the truth to listen what God says about us.
    I had been in the long battle to uproot the negative words that were spoken over me when I was a three and up. I would love to get the book and the necklace.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      The good news is that God’s word can do just that … uproot words spoken over us! Thank you, Jesus, for giving Your word to us!

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