The Power of Personal Relationships

If you are joining us here today from the devotion, welcome! The topic of that devo is mean girls and helping our daughters deal with difficult relationships.

Difficult relationships don’t just happen to our kids! In fact, any relationship that is worth investing in will have difficulties at one time or another. Mother and daughter. Father and son. Wife and husband. Friend to friend. It takes time, energy and emotion to work things out. As I look at our culture, I wonder if we are beginning to loose some of these skills as communicators. Have you ever experienced a disagreement over texting? (If not, I’m guessing you don’t have a teen in your home!). Have you ever tried to clear up a misunderstanding through email? It just doesn’t work like it should. There is no voice inflection, no facial expression. Many times things just get more misunderstood!

I’ve seen first hand in my life what happens when we begin to loose these precious connections to those we love. First it can begin as just plain old busyness. You are going one way; the one you love is going the other. You are not intentionally avoiding each other; nor are you intentional about spending time together. Then something goes wrong and some fight occurs. Since there has been any time invested with each other, when you go to make a “withdraw” on that relationship (ask for forgiveness), there is nothing there! Too much spending and not enough investing leaves the relationship bankrupt. For me, the repair is costing so much more than the investment would have!

One relationship that I have personally enjoyed investing is in the relationship with my daughters. In fact, I have developed a teaching on that and today, I am having a give away! I’m giving away my teaching cd “Building a Bridge: Your Heart to Your Daughters”. All you have to do to be in the drawing is comment below on this question: Have you been at this place, too, in a relationship that is precious to you, a place where you need to invest and not withdraw? What are you doing in your relationships to help them to grow?

It’s easy. Just click “comment” below and share your thoughts with us. Please be sure that you have a blogger name or your email address so I can be sure and let you know that you have won!




  1. I love your post and devotion today! I have two intense, precious daughters that I love to pieces. They are 4 and 8 years old. They are so full of life and outgoing, when I was always shy. I love it! But, sometimes I feel myself overwhelmed by it instead of embracing it. I WANT a BRIDGE between our hearts forever!! Thanks, Kim

  2. I have a 11 year old daughter who is struggling with the "mean girl" thing right now. We are new to our area and she is trying to make new friends and it is heartbreaking for me to see how girls judge the appearance before they get to know the person. I am going through "moving adjustment disorder" myself, and find that I really need to set aside time with each of my kids every day (I have a teenage son, too) to talk about the new friends that they are making and how things are going with these friendships. Plus how to deal with the negative things that arise. I have to say that sometimes it can really be exhausting. I would welcome any tools you can share about bridging the space between my girl's heart and mine. Thanks for helping!

  3. Your post today hits a nerve in the heart of women- relationships! They can be so messy yet so beautiful. I've learned that messy doesn't mean "bad" it just means we are human and broken. The Lord redeems relationships if we stay engaged- don't run from the conflict, dig deep and the relationship will grow.
    I feel I am "called" to invest and not withdraw when times get messy and uncomfortable, the rewards are well worth it! Thanks Kim!

  4. I have 4 kids – 2 daughters and 2 sons. The oldest girl (& oldest) just started middle school. I have decided to take a verse of Scripture a week and pray it over them. Last weeks verse came from 1 Cor. 15:33, which said, "Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character." As I prayed that for her & the rest of my kids, I prayed for good, godly friends, good choices to be made, and wisdom & discernment. I also pray that if they do something wrong they will be caught so they will learn the difference between right and wrong.

  5. Hi. Your post today really speaks to me. I have two daughters, 9 and 4, and two sons, 5 and 2. My oldest daughter is having trouble in school, and I feel like I'm not investing enough time and energy into her. It's so easy to withdraw. I don't know why I do that. We do talk a lot, and she tells me everything. But I don't understand her. In some ways, she is sooooo much like me, but in other ways, so DIFFERENT.

  6. Lynn, I came to your post through the Proverbs 31 devotional for the day and had to comment in the hope that I might win your CD! I am the mom of four kids–two boys and two girls. I obviously want a bridge between my heart and ALL of my children; but for the purposes of this discussion, I will allow that my daughters are 10 and 9 and it is VERY important to me that I maintain the connection about which you've been speaking. I make a concerted effort not just to spend time with my kids, but to carve out time to spend one-on-one with each of them. And my ten-year-old sixth grader, who is outgoing and friendly, is really experiencing for the first time the cruel sting of rejection by girls who aren't necessarily "mean," but who are by no means loyal. I have spent a lot of time counseling her in ways to honor God by treating them the way she would like to be treated EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T RECIPROCATE and continuing to be friendly to all even if all are not friendly to her, but your devotion spurred me to realize that I need to spend some time reminding her that no matter who or what the world says she is, GOD says she is His daughter and that she is loved and adored by Him. Thank you for that encouragement! Blessings, Andrea

  7. Natosha S. says:

    You have no idea how many times I have opened up my e-mail and read my encouragment of the day and it has hit home with exactly what I am going through! That is a God thing!
    This morning was one of them that hit me so hard the tears started pouring and before I could finish reading I had to stop and thank God for all of you who write them and the God who gives me the exact one when I need it.
    I have two daughters ages 11 (almost 12) and 6. And two stepsons ages 9 and 10. They have all just started school this past week and my oldest daughter has always been the stable easy go lucky easy to please one! Now however she is acting…and looking…like a teenager. She, like your daughter in your encouragement, is in 6th grade and one of the tallest kids.
    This morning I was helping her do her hair and nothing was right…"My nose is too big!" She says. "My hair looks frizzy!" She goes on…"My face is starting to get pimples." She's frustrated, I'm frustrated because I tell her she's beautiful just the way God made her and this is part of life. But she will not listen! After she left I find myself asking God "What do I do?" There's a song that plays on the radio that says "There could never be a more beautiful you" it popped into my head. I said okay maybe I'll go buy her a cd and add a note with some Bible verses in it.
    I log on to the internet to find out who sings the song and up pops my encouragment of the day and it's your story with a Bible story about a young girl going through not fitting in and your Bible verses all there ready for me to share with my own daughter!!! THANK YOU!!
    As mother's if we do not pour into our children who will?? The world will!I am just praying that if my children are full from what I feed them (God's encouraging words) there will be no room left for what the world wants to put into them!!!! Thank you so much!!
    For those who do not win can you give us a link to order a copy? Thanks!
    Natosha Sturgill
    [email protected]

  8. I am learning now to invest in my relationship with my 18 year-old daughter from afar as she just moved 12 hours away. I am having to be intentional about staying connected to her and her world in a way much different from sitting on the edge of her bed and hearing about her life. Thank God for technology and free long distance!!!!

  9. Love your devo and post! Your heart is so sweet Lynn and I pray and know God will bless your investments in your family and the Next Gen. It's a joy serving with you through P31!! Love, Samantha

  10. Mrs. Lynn,
    The hardest job in the world is being a mother. Both girls and boys need to know they are loved and accepted just as they are. We hurt when they hurt.

    I find this also goes through life with adults as well. We need to feel accepted and loved just as we are. We, like our children, often are misjudged and misunderstood by the misguided opinions of others. I personally know how hard it is to keep your head held high when everything and everyone around you is shouting "doubt" and "insecurity".

    My refuge is to bury myself in the Word. He is my Savior. He knows me. He knows my heart. He does think I'm wonderful!

    This is sometimes more difficult when it comes to our children… to convince them they are wonderful when others are telling them they are not. They think we only say that because we have to, we're their parents. Find some connection whether it be music with lyrics that relate to the issue they're facing or find a trusted mentor to turn to. At one point, I had more luck having a friend talk with my daughter rather than me.

    I loved your post on P31. Also, loved meeting you at Southbrook. Thank you for your conversation and kindness. You're sencerity was heartfelt.


  11. Wow, your comments came right after learning of some very tough deadlines in my business. I too feel the pull of too much "busyness" and not just business!! I am new at being a mom to daughters and I love it! I gained three beautiful daughters and a son with my second marriage after a season of widowhood. Thanks for your encouraging words. I look forward to reading more in the days ahead!! God bless.

  12. Lynn,

    The P31 devo today was truly "right on target" for some BIG things going on in my little world.

    My daughter who is 11 deals with "mean girl" situations at schools quite frequently and honestly, I have seen her be a little "mean" at times with her choice of words or her decisions to favor some girls over others……I have been so proud of her when she has gone back to these girls and apologized later on her own. Her heart is willing, but I do believe that as it is with all girls, her flesh is often weak.

    I have started teaching the 6/7 grade girls on Sunday night and I hope to make this a big part of our discussion time. Just the fact that as the church we have to model something more attractive than what the world offers.

    On a personal level, I see women being "mean" and that is very sad to me.

    I've come to a place at the age of 44 (finally!) where I realize that if I am pleasing God and living for Him with all my heart, then the rest of the things of this world will eventually fall into place. I can't fix everything and that is so freeing!

    I love you! And I thank you again for your words!!


  13. Thank for you devotion today…
    I don't have any daughters, but I have a close friend that has a daughter that I would like to enter for. She shares scripture, prays with and snuggles with her daughter. She just said yesterday that her daughter entered jr high and can no longer take cupcakes for her birthday to school. It happens so fast! So if I could enter for her…thank you.

  14. Thanks for your post! Actually my difficult relationship investment is toward my son right now. We are at a difficult stage of stepping into the college years. He's not quite ready to fly on his own, yet tries so desperately to prove he is ready. I'm learning to invest by giving encouraging words when I can, instead of criticism. His journey of pulling away sometimes includes throwing verbal darts as he walks by trying to prove "he is the man"

    Each day is a new day and I try to start it with renewed desire to show him love as I learn to let go….

  15. Lynn,

    Since I have an almost 16 year old daughter (Monday), I so get this post.

    I actually learned to text SO THAT I can enter into her world more. When she spends the night out, I text her good night and tell her I love her. When she has a test, I send a text that I am praying and then another asking how it went. I text her when I am away speaking to tell her I miss and love her.

    I never thought texting would be a way to stay "connected." It is, but I also be sure to take time to invite her to get coffee or go shopping or take a walk or go to the Y too. Both are important.



  16. Lynn, you are such a great mom and friend and woman. I love the power of personal relationships, and also know that many struggle with that. I talked about building a nest — a safe one — on my blog yesterday because there was a time I didn't have safe relationships. Yet today I am surrounded by them. It takes work and time and intentional steps. This post rocks, my friend.

  17. Lynn,
    You have no idea how much this touched my heart today, I am the mother of a 4 yr old daughter so I'm sure I will learn soon enough the power of a relationship b/w mother & teenage daughter BUT this ministered to me so much regarding a tough relationship I'm having w/ my BFF right now, she's someone I have been friends w/ for literally 20 or more yrs. This really spoke to me about how my heart should be towards her. Thank you so much for this today Lynn. You are precious, I am so thankful that God encourages you to help mend relationships b/w mother/daughter & friends! You are very special!


  18. What a beautiful and inspirational post. Children are adults in the blink of an eye and children who grow into adulthood knowing that God and their parents love them are the happiest in later life.

    Blessings! Nancy J Locke

  19. WOW! I have been reading Proverbs31 daily devotionals for about a year now and never before has my heart been touched as it was today… God is speaking to my family through you Lynn! I forwarded your message to my husband who then suggested we print out the devotion and use it as a family bible study this weekend. We have 6 children between the ages of 2 and 12. My oldest daughter is 5'8" and just entered middle school. We also have 3 daughters right behind her in age. I want so much to keep my oldest focused on the Lord, to say the right things to her now, so she can be an example to the rest of the children. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!

    [email protected]

  20. The best thing I did for my daughter, or any of my children, is to pray for them. For five years, I met with a girlfriend on Monday afternoons and we prayed for our kids.

  21. Lynn,
    I just discovered your blog today, (from the email devotion). I have two daughters 10 and 8, and a son 4 with special needs. Now that school has started, I find myself desperate to "invest" in them from 3.30-8pm. There are so many important things to address, and such little time with each of them. Please enter me in the contest. Thank you for your encouraging words 🙂
    [email protected]

  22. I have found that my relationship with my 3 teenage daughters takes alot more effort and purpose than the relationship that I have with my 5 sons. I have to plan for special activities to happen or I will be just one more 'thing' in their busy social lives!

  23. I have a 12 year old daughter and 9 year old son. We are venturing through the pre-teen years already. I am so not ready for it. Funny, I'm always praying that my daughter is not a "mean" girl and so far the feedback I get is that she's not. She is very interested in popularity and boys. I've been praying that I can help her through these years while maintaining a close relationship with her. Fortunately so far, she's still pretty open with us. I want to stay close to her heart : )

  24. Lynn I love your piece on relationships. I too have been in that position. To read your words rings so true to my heart. I have learned to listen more, instead of doing all the talking, and I have learned never to write a letter to explain your heart, it only makes things worse and then so hard to escape that pit your in. Relationships are hard and take work. Praise Jesus for all He does and all He teaches through His word and through ladies like yourself who have wisdom from expierence. Thanks so much for your post:)

  25. Great devo and post Lynn. I don't have a daughter, but mean girls grow up, and unfortunately we can still be the recipient of this cruelty.

    Right now I'm investing in the life of my son (last year at home before University) and my neice (who's husband recently left her). I think my number one investment in both their lives, is time spent together in prayer. As God's Word says, "a cord of three strands is not quickly broken", Ecc. 4:12. Trusting that with God at the center of these relationships, our relationship with one another will also deepen.

    Love ya Lynn. Thanks for your friendship,

  26. Anonymous says:

    I am a mother to 3 precious daughters, and have been blessed with 2 step-daughters. They are all grown now, with the baby just leaving for college last month. My time with them at home was so brief, and yet there were times I could not wait to get past. One thing I know for sure…..I will be wearing my heart on the outside of my body forever! :O) That is the beginning of the bridge between our hearts.

    [email protected]

  27. I never had a chance to read the devotion yesterday, so I went back and found it this morning. It's amazing that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I have two daughters, ages 10 and 11 (nearly 12). While so many things have changed since I was 11, this "mean girl" thing is the same and travels across all boundaries. We see it between the girls at church as much as we see it at school and it seems that even the parents play a role. I pray and try to teach, but at times feel very inadequate. Thank you for your encouragement.

  28. I was so touched by your blog and devotion today! It just really hit home on so many levels.I have 4 children age range 9 tto 30. @ are daughters. And one is 27 and the other 9. I am so overwhemlmed most of the time, that I don't let myself just enjoy the moment.Then later I always feel guilty. I won't more than anything to have that bond between us. I think my older daughter and me do, now that she has kids herself. But I struggle with the 9 year old. The world has such a hold on them at such a young age. Thank you so much!

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