Wednesday Wisdom Tip: The Top Reason Your Girl Should Put Off Dating In High School



You don’t want to depress your girl, but she might need to know this.

I did a Google search (because you know everything on the internet is true, right?) and typed in:

 “At what age do guys mature?”

The answers might just bum them out a bit.

A National Institutes of Health study proposes that the part of the brain that restrains risky behavior, including reckless driving, and thinking skills is not fully developed until the age of 25.

That’s the brain. When it came to emotions, the top three posts all said 43! 43 years old is when the male brain is fully mature when it comes to emotions.

Maybe, like me, you’ve taught your girl: “Make your list of what you are looking for in a guy and don’t settle.” I’m not saying we shouldn’t teach this; we should. Here is the deal though: for guys to be the guys that matches up with her list, chances are they’re probably not in high school!

With that in mind, challenge your girl today to make a switch. To bravely make the switch from looking for the guy to becoming the girl.

Take this time. This amazing time in her life, to focus on becoming the girl. Becoming the girl who is reaching her fullest potential. The girl who is investing her time, energy and emotions becoming the best she can become; the best God created her to become.

Then, if and when God brings that mature godly guy into her life, she’ll be the mature godly girl too.


Copy this graphic today and text, Tweet or Instagram your girl today. Empower her to reach her fullest potential!

Today I’m giving away a personalized copy of Magnetic. 

Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing truth Magnetic  (available at AmazonB&NCBDeverywhere books are sold), empowers girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl who will attract the right type of guy one day: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!

To enter to win, share in the comments below your thoughts on dating in high school. I’ll post today’s winner on Friday’s post: Teaching our Girls the Holidays Don’t Have to Be Harried. 

Today’s post is an excerpt from my message “Are You Brave Enough?” from the Magnetic Experience. If you are interested in learning more about hosting a Magnetic Experience in your community, just email me at [email protected].


Winner from Friday’s post, The Push I Need, is Monica who posted at October 10, 2014 at 12:48 pm (Edit). Please email me at [email protected] your full name and address and we’ll get out to you Just Rise Up!  by Sarah F. Martin.




  1. Regarding dating, I say the older, the better. My daughter and her friends have always just gone out in a group — no pairing off on a date. It’s been great. They’ve developed friendships with guys without the pressure of a romance.

  2. I’m all for waiting on God to bring the right person at the right time. And I agree wholeheartedly that a girl’s focus at any age (single or married) should be on becoming the healthy and mature woman God created her to be… but surely, we aren’t suggesting that our daughters wait on pursuing a relationship with a guy until that guy is 25 or 43 – the magic ages determined by NIH. 🙂 I don’t think that was your point. But, I want to communicate to my daughter that there is no pre-determined right or wrong age in this area. It’s always wrong to date someone for the wrong reasons. It’s always wrong to date someone when the Lord has revealed “He’s the wrong guy.” But whether the Lord brings the right guy at 17, 25, or 55 is really up to the Lord. As long as my daughter is seeking after God, and pursuing His heart… I’m confident she’ll find the right guy at just the right time.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      You are completely right, Terry! And “yes”, I definitely wasn’t saying there is a “magic” age. I got married when I was 20. My middle daughter is now 20. If she feels the Holy Spirit tells her now is the best time for her, I’ll trust her and Him! I have no regrets for getting married young. My husband and I have literally finished growing up together and it has been a beautiful, 27 years in the running thing. He wasn’t 25 and he certainly wasn’t 43, but he was a good man in the making!!

  3. Cindy H in Texas says:

    Our daughter is in her 1st year of high school and while she did have a “boyfriend” for a few months this summer, they were not allowed to go on “dates”. Instead, their time together consisted of being with a whole group of their peers, usually our youth group at church. Once school started, they both began to feel very stressed about the whole boyfriend/girlfriend situation and decided to call it quits, but remain friends.
    Our daughter said she really doesn’t have time for dating as she wants to concentrate on her studies and her music.
    I would not mind if she kept that attitude all though high school 🙂

  4. Dating in high school generally just results in a mess! One of my daughter’s friends dated the same boy for over 3 years; then they broke up, which caused much heartache for not just them, but their families, as well. Another dated into the first year of college and, after much stress and anxiety, they also broke up.Not that it can’t end well, but more often than not, it doesn’t. I would love to see my lovely nieces just enjoy their friends and activities and not worry about dating right now.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      That is our heart for our girls!

  5. Our daughter is currently in 6th grade, so high school is still a few years off – yet I believe this would be the best time for her to develop a mindset of becoming who God wants her to be – not what the boys think she should be.

    From what we have experienced with are boys who are older (one a freshman in college and one a sophomore in high school) maturity does come later in life for boys. Going places with a group of friends, rather than “dating”, seems to be the best idea. The boys can learn what girls are like without the pressure of “romance”. The girls can learn what boys are like while still developing the confidence of who they are in Christ.

    Sounds like this book is a must read for girls!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I completely agree with both of you, Amber & Laura!

  6. I dated in High School and I can tell you I was NOT ready and NEITHER were the guys! I would strongly encourage against it!

  7. Lynn
    I love this post. My daughter is still young but one of the things I pray for her is that the foundation for her identity will be who she is in Christ and not based on what other girls or guys think or want her to be or pressure her to be.
    I pray that those roots are deep and give her confidence to stay true to Christ and not be waivered by the culture around her and the message to fit in. I want so much more her her.
    Thank you for this beautiful ministry to equip our daughters!

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