Wednesday Wisdom Tip – Beware

The greenway was the location of my walk last night with my two girls. Mariah and Madi are definitely my best sources of information when it comes to what we need to know to be wise. I asked them, ‘Tomorrow is my Wednesday Wisdom Tip” day; what do moms need to know?” They both started spitting out tons of information. We’ll cover them over the next few weeks, but today, I’ll go with the wisdom from my 17 year old:

 

Don’t be naive about the “good” kids in your kids lives: beware.

 

Is your child dating a “good, Christian” boy or girl? Don’t underestimate the power of temptation.

 

Often our kids meet their “good” Christian girlfriend or boyfriend at church, youth group or camp. While I am not saying that they aren’t good, I am saying they are human! Infatuation is like a drug; dulling our kids of the ways they have been taught. Under it’s influence they can forget the abstinence pledges and sex talks we have had.

 

As wise mothers we need to set boundaries in place and do so from the beginning.

 

Take it from a mama who didn’t. When my son first started dating, I was just coming out of homeschooling for seven years. Since he was my oldest and our lives revolved around church, I was a bit naive about the culture. When he and his girlfriend started seeing each other every day, we knew it wasn’t good and worked quick to pull in the reins. That didn’t go over so good!

.

Put boundaries in place before they start dating. It is much easier to set rules in place and say this is how things are going to be then to try to reverse what has already gone on.

 

If you would like some help creating dating boundaries, see our families Heart and Body Covenant and Ready to Date questionnaire; both free. They are found under my “freebies” tab or at http://www.lynncowell.com/freebies/

 

Don’t be naive; don’t tell yourself, “He’s a good boy he wouldn’t do that”. “She loves Jesus, she wouldn’t go there.” Instead, mom, be honest and remind yourself, “They are human.” Ask Jesus to give you the discernment you need and put the boundaries in place.

 

The winner of the “Girls Uncovered” book is: KM Lorenz.

 

Please email me at Lynn@LynnCowell.com and we’ll get a book sent right out to you!

 

Be wise my friends!

 

Lynn

13 Comments

  1. Hi Lynn,
    What great advice! I’ve had to backtrack and establish boundaries in hindsight as well. And you are right…it’s not pleasant for anyone involved. Much easier to do it before hand. That’s why I appreciate people like you who share things like you do. It’s so great to be able to learn from one another! I don’t know you personally, but you are a true gift from God in my life.
    I tried to open the Covenant and the Questionnaire that you referred to but my spyware won’t let me. Is there any other way for me to access them? I would love to see them and put them in place for my 16 year old and my almost 13 year old.
    Thank you again for being so faithful to God and such an encouragement to us moms!
    Karen

    1. Karen,

      Shoot me an email and I’ll try to send them to you as an attachment if I can. Lynn@LynnCowell.com

      Thanks for the encouragement. I sure don’t think I have it all together when it comes to parenting…made too many mistakes for that! But I am happy to go through this amazing journey with other moms who want to be wise!

      1. Sue Wolcott says:

        Could you send me the link as well? It didn’t work when I clicked on it. I’ve got a soon to be 15 year old, 12, and 11 year old daughters, we’re gonna need this!!! 🙂
        THanks!
        Sue

  2. Your parents did a wonderful job raising you, and hopefully being under Pastor Rich’s teaching had a small part too. We did have some great times didn’t we. I love this Wisdom tip because we have been raising our Granddaughter since she was 5 (she is now almost 17) and We she now has a steady boyfriend. We just had our “TALK” about what we expect and what her boundries are but Denny goes a step farther and also tells the boys what he expects. Sarah is a very strong Christian but we know very well how great those temptaions are. Thank you for your great words of wisdom. Tell your mom Hi from our family. Love Diane

    1. Thank you so much Diane! Every adult in the Vineyard had a HUGE impact on my life. It is my joy to pass on just a bit of what I learned and invest in today’s teens… Love to you and Denny!

  3. Thank you Lynn, and you are so right! even the “good” kids can let their emotions override their brains! I try to remember that although my daughter was raised in church, she is still human and hormones are kicking. thank you again for giving us a reminder.

  4. Thank-you for the advise. It is so true. We are all human and can mess up no matter how grounded we are. I agree it is important to talk about these things beforehand and keep the communication lines open! I also wasn’t able to open the questionnaire or the convenant. Could you send it to me too? Thanks!

  5. Great advice! I’m anxious to see the covenant and questionairre but the link won’t open for me! Thanks again

  6. I couldn’t open the link you shared either. I think it is missing the colon after ‘http’. When the colon is added, it opens to your Freebies page.
    Have a great day
    Karen

  7. My daughter is 10.5, and attends a public middle school (grades 3-6; she is in 4th grade). I know that the day is soon coming when I’ll have to have The Talk with her, but I’m praying for God’s timing for her to be receptive. We have already taught her that she is not to be in a room with the door closed with a boy – not a friend, not a cousin, no one! She is very much a “tomboy” and is still It’s not that I think that any of the boys she’s around (mostly at our Life Group meetings or other church friend’s house) would try anything, but – they’re human, and they might one day. I want her to get that first rule ingrained in her now before they have a chance to convince her otherwise!

  8. Dawn Yost says:

    Loved this great reminder. I have a soon to be 16 year old son and a 17 year old son. My 17 year old just started dating a nice young lady and his youth leader has told him he needs to talk to his girlfriend about boundaries. I would love to have a copy of your convenant and questionaire but my computer won’t bring it up. Is there another way I can get it? Thanks for your ministry!

  9. Bernadette says:

    Hi Lynn~
    I’ll be praying and talking to all my children this weekend. My daughter is 12, is that old enough for your book? Also for the people who cannot download the forms ~ the links on your freebie page work fine.
    Thanks for all your insight!
    Bernadette

  10. Hi,
    I need advise for a single mother of 3 my oldest just turned 15..he’s not really in the dating mode yet, but I do see him getting interested in girls. How do I communicate with him when it comes to girls.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.