Mom, God has given you influence to impact your daughter’s views on guys, girls and God. The way this influence comes is through conversation.
This is not a “once and done” conversation; like your mom and the sex talk. These conversations need to be on going; the talk that never wraps up. Weaving into our every day lives, these talks begin by listening. Really listening. The type where your eyes are engaged, your hands are still and your body language says, “I’m listening.”
My daughter knows the difference. Just Sunday night she asked me while we were talking, “Am I annoying you?” “Why?” I responded. “Because your body says I am.” (Never try to pull one over on a teen)!
One of my favorite ways to have these powerful conversations is having girl dates. Day trips, car rides, cooking or yard work together. I’m intentional to set aside time to talk – after school, before bed or on Sunday afternoons. One of my daughters doesn’t open up until we’ve been together a long time…I’m talking hours. When she tweeted this from college this week, it warmed my heart:
Whether you have a daughter who talks none stop or one who is quiet and doesn’t open up, I have a free resource to help. Get these important conversations rolling. Just go to my website at www.LynnCowell.com and click on “freebies”. There you will find lots of free resources to help you in investing in your girl. The one I want you to look for is “Conversation Starters”. These starters are the matches that can help you begin the fire of conversations that will help you to empower your girl with confidence leading her to make wise choices. Here are a few of them:
If you had 24 hours to live, how would you spend it?
What are the three favorite things you have done so far in life?
What is the thing you are most afraid of?
Print out these conversation starters and put them in a cute jar or pretty vase. Set up a time: on the way to school, when she gets home from school or before bed to pull out one of these questions and talk away!
The important thing, is begin talking when they’re young about everything and as they grow up, keep talking. Make your heart and your home your child’s safest place!
The winner of yesterday’s love pack is Deana who posted at 6:50 a.m. on 2/25/14. Send me your full name and address, Deana and I’ll get it right out to you!
What are some of the ways you encourage conversation in your family?
It doesnt matter when or what I’m doing! As a mother, it is my responsibility and God-given honor, to stop and listen. It is so important to be available! We live in a crazy, busy world but it makes a huge statement to our kids about their worth when we give them the time they crave. It also teaches them that God, the Father is always there for them. Lynn, I so appreciate your blog and your teaching. You get it! 🙂 Love and Prayers.
Wendy Marshall says
Hi Lynn: I just learned of you this morning. I too wish I had had a mother who knew of this deep desire we girls/women have to be valued and admired and realized that the best source of it is from Jesus. I didn’t know Jesus as a child. I knew of “God” but did not know of His love and that He is the life source that we need to plug into everyday. I wish I had known Jesus as a girl like I know him now as a 45 year old woman. I am going through a very difficult divorce and my daughter of the precious age of 11 is really struggling with so much. I am so glad that I was given this link to your blog and website and I hope this is going to be an answer to prayer as to how to reach my daughter and to be her safe place and that she knows my heart and our home is her safe haven that she needs to navigate through this experience we are all going through…so she realizes we are all going through it together. There is myself and my son who is 15 and my daughter who is 11.
I look forward to more of your teachings and insights. Thank you Blessings Wendy Marshall
Susan F says
When our daughters were little we started good thing and bad thing at dinner time. We would literally go around the table and everyone got their turn to talk about their day. We started young enough that by the time they were teens they were very good at it. If someone was in a bad mood they might be very short in their answers but they still participated. We found often we knew a lot more about what was going on in our girls lives then other parents knew about their kids. Dinner time fostered a climate of sharing that continued in other parts of our lives as well.
When the girls had friends over the friends jumped right in and shared too.
Two of our daughters no longer live at home but we still have good thing and bad thing at dinner. We love it when everyone is over and we always share around the table about the good things and bad things in our lives.
Wish I had this blog available when all the girls were still living at home. Thanks for your efforts.