How did this argument happen any way?
Your child came home from school and minutes after the backpack hit the floor, the two of you are at each other. The raised voices and rude words seemed to come out of nowhere. What did I do? You wonder.
The answer might be nothing. In fact, it’s quite possible it has nothing to do with you at all.
So many times when I have been hurt by someone, especially members of my family, I have made it about me. What did I do? Why did they do that to me? I didn’t deserve that.
So often, though, I’m asking the wrong questions. What I need to be asking is: What is going on in them? Why did they feel the need to do that? Why are they hurting?
If I switch the questions I am asking, I go from hurt to healer.
Like my friend Zoe said – I need to soften around the edges – become a Q-tip and Quit Taking It Personally.
In fact, you and I can do more than that…instead of becoming offended, we can look for opportunities. Opportunities to see the hurt past the words and decide to be part of their healing process.
We can embrace our offender and become a healer!
Not only is this powerful in our own lives, but just think of the power we can give our kids if we teach them this principle too!
This week, my daughter came home from school offended; another’s words pierced her heart. Once we processed her feelings, we started asking questions:
“Why did the other girl say what she did?”
“Is it possible that the offender was feeling excluded?”
“Is she struggling with low self-worth?”
The girl’s words might have been her choice in dealing with her own pain. I tried to get my girl to look outward instead of inward.
Think back over the last argument with your child, spouse or family member. At what point in the conversation could you have turned it around and become the healer? Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes in the next 24 hours to see another who needs you to step into this role and be a source of healing in their life!