Wednesday Wisdom Tip: I Don’t Want to Fit In




“Then a herald shouted out, “People of all races and nations and languages, listen to the king’s command! When you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes, and other musical instruments, bow to the ground to worship King Nebuchadnezzar’s gold statue. Anyone who refuses to obey will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.” Daniel 3:4-6 (NLT)

I knew I needed to stop talking about him, but as a new bride, I just couldn’t. Fresh and new, I could often be found talking about my amazing husband!

In my work environment though, I quickly realized being happy while being married wasn’t all that popular. The positive comments I made about my husband stood out from the daily hubby bashing of my peers. So it didn’t take me long to find my own complaints about marriage to add to the conversations.

I worked to find something negative about Greg to throw in the fire. But though my words fit in well with my peers, my negative comments hurt my heart. I knew better. It wasn’t a matter of simply letting something slip; I was choosing to be someone I was not.

When we hear the word “peer pressure”, we often think of just teenagers. But pressure to conform doesn’t go away once we leave our school days. It isn’t limited to just one age, people or status group. In one form or another, every culture is influenced by pressure to belong.

In our key verse today, King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had set up an image which he commanded people of all races and nations and languages to bow down to. All people, of all types, were subject to his pressure to conform.

We, too, are daily under pressure.

To conform by bad mouthing about our spouses. To keep our clothes, cars or condos up to date. To meet society’s demands about body image. Daily we can be pushed to “bow down” to the gods of bellyaching, buying, and beauty.

My early marriage days are long gone, but I still experience the pressure of society’s standards.

But I’ve decided: I don’t want to do it any more.

I don’t want to fit in if fitting in means I go against God’s best for His glory and my good.

Like the three brave young men who stood up to the king in Daniel 3, we can be brave. We can reach out to our Jesus for the strength, courage and determination to not “bow down” to culture’s definition of behavior. Boldly, we can choose to be women who exude the traits of Jesus – the fruit of the Spirit. And in turn, we can teach our daughters to be bold too!

When we display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control we become different.

And it’s a different that is gorgeous and godly.

Jesus, it is all too easy for me to just go along each day with what society calls “normal”. Yet You call me to stand up and stand out for You. Help me today to choose to be different; choose to allow Your life to flow through mine. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Galatians 5:22-23, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” (NLT)

Can you think of a young woman you would like to empower to be bold; to go against culture’s definition of beauty to glorify God? Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants gives girls the tools they need to do just that!

For every copy of Magnetic purchased today, Lynn is giving away a free magnet with the quote, “Gorgeous is more than a face in the mirror” (like the graphic today).


Just send me a copy of your receipt along with your mailing address to [email protected] and I’ll get it sent right out!




  1. Magnetic arrived yesterday. What Godly timing!!! My daughter struggles with being less than gorgeous when she is stressed out – and most of the ugliness is directed at me. As punishment for the last occurance, I told her I was going to make her read a book of my choosing. I had preordered Magnetic a long time ago and when it showed up yesterday my heart skipped a beat – perfect! And although it is a punishment, she is excited to read it 🙂 I started reading some first and although I am not a teenager and not looking for a boy, the truths are for me too! Then todays wisdom tip is right on the mark! I want to fit in at work, I want to be part of the in crowd – even as an adult. Thank you Lynn for writing a book I am sure will help me and my daughter become the girl/woman He wants!!!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      God’s timing is always perfect!

      And as far as it being written for teen girls…I gave it to my mom who will be 80 in January. After reading the first two chapters she asked me, “Were you thinking of me when you wrote this?”

      Somethings, no matter how old we are, are just life struggles, not age struggles!

  2. I just recently started following and feel so blessed. Each day touches me and renews my faith. Some days its as if you crawled in to my head and knee exactly how I was feeling or what I needed. Thank you!!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I think we all struggle with these things, Kelley!It just time for us to talk about them and over come! Thank you so much for sharing!

  3. Thanks for once again sharing a common struggle – acceptance, no matter what our age. I found myself recently in a situation where the conversation was becoming a ‘bashing’ – speaking ill of friends & family. My typical ‘go-to’ response would be sarcastic humor. Instead, I made a comment to my husband “We need to run in to town.” God prompted him to get right up, no questioning why. When we got in the car I shared w/him that it felt like spiritual oppression in the house (everyone is a Christ follower). We ran our errand, went back & parked in the yard, praying against any attacks from Satan, then walked into the house. The whole mood had changed – it was light & people were displaying the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace. What a mighty God we serve!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I LOVE reading about your obedience and your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit!

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