Wednesday Wisdom Tip – Prom Prep
Here it hangs! The prom dress…just waiting for the big night. Having never gone to prom myself, I pictured an agonizing day of shop hopping and coming up empty. This mama who really doesn’t enjoy the mall…at all…walked out in a record two hours!
I have to admit, this bag represents anxiety for me. My girl has never had a boyfriend; never been on a date. And although she is going with a friend, my heart still skips a beat and my eyes start to well, because I know what prom is about for most teens. A night to do all the things that break a parent’s heart….
So, since we are becoming wise moms, what steps can we take to prepare our kids, should they choose to go to prom?
A friend of mine shared with me one mom’s answer.
Before prom night, they put out an invitation to their student’s friends to return to their home after the dance. Each student had to sign a contract saying they would not bring any substances to their home. The contract also stated that once they entered the home, they had to stay until morning; once they entered, there was no going out. They would provide food, games, and movies for the party goers…as well as supervision. The contract was signed by both the student and the student’s parents.
I like this idea…it gives peace of mind to the parents while providing a memorable experience for the kids.
Is your student attending prom? If so, what perimeters are you putting in place to insure both safety and fun?
Our son has been to three proms — Prom 2012 was on Thursday, March 30th. I applaud our county school district for scheduling all county high school proms the same night and early in the semester before the senioritis really sets in!
To keep our son safe, we chaperoned the first year. High school sophomores do not need to be on the roads late at night amid all the hoopla. Junior and senior year, the kids all pitched in to hire a “party bus.” Both years, the limo companies provided contracts that kids had to sign to ride: no alcohol, no drugs, no screaming or offensive behavior. Each student provided a parent contact number. Parents were there to witness as well. Knowing that my son was driven to the restaurant, the prom and back again by a licensed adult eased our minds.
We did not allow him to participate in after-prom activities junior year because we did not know the hosting parents and while I asked for information and details, he didn’t provide any info. Senior year, he understood that information is key and provided host parent names, house rules, contact phone numbers and invited me to come meet them. Rather than him driving to and from the host home, we dropped him off and picked him up. He knew to call us immediately if anyone broke house rules.
At some point, we need to trust our kids and let go — just a little. When my son showed the maturity to gather the information we needed to feel comfortable with his choices, he had the freedom to participate in after-prom activities.
As a parent of a teen guy, it fell to my husband (primarily) to remind him that dancing is one thing, but to remember always to treat his date (a friend, not a girlfriend) with the utmost respect — as if she were his mother. According to her, he was a wonderful prom date, fun and not awkward or weird. They were friends who enjoyed celebrating senior prom together. I couldn’t ask for more.
(Thanking Jesus for ongoing answered prayer as we raise Godly sons!)
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this, Karen! What wisdom you have!!!
Prom ends at 12:00. Be home by 12.15.
Our schools do what we call Dry Grad and basically, the party is held somewhere very nice, and the kids are in lockdown, no one in or out, until about six am the following morning. It’s popular, all the kids look forward to it. There will be a few after parties but we trust the Lord will keep our kids safe, as well as having raised them to make the best decisions they can. It boils down to doing your best as a parent, and trusting the Lord enough to let go.
Sheila, we had a party like this too the day I graduated from high school. It was so great; we didn’t have to make plans, just show up! I wish my kids had something similar.
I agree, we raise them to make good decisions, try to point them and protect them and then trust the Lord that He is their best parent!