I’ve heard it said, “You can’t choose who you fall in love with so be careful who you date.”
The heart is powerful. David Clark says, “Infatuation is like a drug.” When it kicks in, it takes over heart and mind.
Culture tells us, “follow your heart”. The message starts early with Disney.
Someday my prince will come
Someday I ‘ll find my love
And how thrilling that moment will be
When the prince of my dreams comes to me
He’ll whisper I love you
And steal a kiss or two
Though he’s far away I’ll find my love someday
Someday when my dreams come true
“When my prince comes for me…” Subtle, but powerful.
As we get a bit older, the Prince looks a bit differently.
Us ‘80’s girls heard Kenny Rogers sing:
Lady, for so many years I thought I’d never find you
You have come into my life and made me whole
Today, it’s Justin Timberlake. He’s looking in the mirror at the other half of himself.
Wherever we turn, we’re told there is a soul mate out there for us, making us feel “less than” if we don’t!
Jesus’ love, His Word, teaches me there is one and His name is Jesus! Jesus is the One that each and every heart is looking for! He is the filler of EVERY love gap! He is the one who gives our hearts’ dreams.
He says in John 7: 37 – 38, “Let anyone who is thirsty (or feels empty) come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”
I believe Jesus created us to be filled by Himself and to enjoy His river of living water with another one day.
We have to teach our girls to be careful, very careful, when they find their needy hearts thirsty, to drink of The River first; get filled.
Then, be choosey, so very, very choosey about who they “drink with”.
This was such a great word and so very true.thank you so much for sharing.
Lynn Cowell says
I hope it is helpful to you and you will share this truth with others! Have an awesome day!
Julia Cress says
What a timely message for my whole household! As a single mother of a household with a 14 year old daughter and an eleven year old, I so desire to stay close to these girls- leading them through the next few years – without seeing a repeat of my painful teenage years. It has only been in the last 2 years (and I’m 54!) I have learned to be whole- full- complete in Jesus Christ, though reared a PK and trying to “be a christian” all my life. Wanting to be rescued (Snow White, Cinderella, Rapunzel…) and wanting to feel loved and accepted, drove me to unhealthy choices with shameful endings. Because of His Grace and Mercy that drew me to really know Him, I know Him. He really is all I need. Thank you for this study, Lynn, from the very depths of my heart. Blessings.
Lynn Cowell says
Thank you so much, Julia! Now that you know, tell it to every one and any one you can, especially your daughters and their friends!!
Jen Benson says
“I’ve heard it said, ‘You can’t choose who you fall in love with so be careful who you date.’
Um…NO. No, those aren’t wise words. You can’t control hormone surges, but you DO and CAN control who you love. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love, and none of it describes something you “fall into” or have no control over.
I agree with everything else you’ve said here except for those statements that indicate we have no choice in the matter. We do. It is possible to resist an attraction, and love depends on a whole lot more than a few chemicals having a heyday in your brain. It’s a choice. A decision. A deliberate action. And that’s what we need to teach girls (and boys) to remember.
I realize this is a very strong opinion, but it’s because I made several mistakes based on the erroneous assumption that I just couldn’t help myself, and don’t want to see anyone else make the same ones. I absolutely agree that when we put God first, He brings everything else into place in his timing, and that we need to wait on Him.
These are such wise words!
Thank you for sharing them!
I have 5 daughters (ages 20, 16, 7 and 2 year old twins) so this task seems daunting at times….
I’ve tried to impart this truth into our girls, especially our eldest who seem to be a follower and no matter how much we try to boost her self esteem it seems she’s looking for validation elsewhere 🙁
From one failed dating relationship to another she continues to go for the infatuation even though I talk with her constantly about Jesus being the one who needs to be the priority.
I pray for all of our girls’ future husbands and recently after one of her latest break-ups it looked like she was maturing. Only to fall prey to guy’s flirting…. and now, against everything she’s been taught and brought up to believe, she’s is dating a Muslim….. 🙁
My husband and I are devastated and heartbroken.
We would really appreciate anyone’s prayers – for God to protect her from herself, to spare her consequences of her foolish actions, to have mercy on her!
While it is true and good to be choosey about who we “drink with,” I think we’re failing if we let ourselves and/or our children think they can’t choose who they “fall in love” with. We always have a choice. The notion that love simply happens is part of fairy tale.
The full truth is that we not only choose who we hang out with, but we also get to choose what thoughts we entertain, and what we do with the rush of emotion that comes with a new relationship.
There is always a choice.
Lynn Cowell says
I couldn’t agree with you more, Callsta! Thanks for sharing!