“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)
There are two kinds of women who live in my house. One speaks her mind freely; you don’t have to guess where she stands or how she feels. There’s also the more reserved girl; holding the deepest parts of her tight, she keeps her emotions, all of them, in check.
Neither girl is right or wrong. Both are deep thinkers; deep feelers. Yet my girls couldn’t be more different when it comes to how those thoughts and emotions are expressed. With one, I have a sense of her constant pulse as she daily shares her joys and struggles. With the other…well, as my mother used to say about my father, “Still waters run deep.”
The writer of Proverbs in today’s key verse encourages us to make the effort to “draw out” those who take more effort to understand. As I have found with my daughter, there is so much beauty and young wisdom in her deep well of a heart. And while it takes extra effort to tap into that low laying spring, the effort is often rewarded.
In a culture where our conversations are capped at 140 characters on Twitter, the deep need for real conversation may be in jeopardy. Yet God’s word tells us a person’s heart is deep waters – not something short and concise that can be summed up in a Facebook status.
We need moments of unhurried time with our daughters where we can express our hearts, but more importantly, where we can draw out the heart of each another. We need time when we can listen to the wisdom and work God is doing in each other’s lives. These type of conversations usually don’t develop in the quick greeting, “How are you?” but more often in the intentional moments when we purpose to listen.
In the original Hebrew language the Old Testament was written in, “purposes” in this verse means advice, counsel, plan. When we take the time to draw out another, it is good for them. When we verbalize the purposes God has given us, we are encouraged to carry on in those callings and activities that honor Him.
Drawing out another or engaging in purposeful conversation is also good for us as we gain insight, wisdom, hope and encouragement when we listen to all God is doing in the heart of another. We can receive advice and counsel simply by listening to all God is doing in another person.
Stop right now and look at your calendar. Pick a time – tonight, tomorrow or this weekend, and invite someone dear to you to spend time with you. Is it your daughter, whose life resembles a tornado, spinning in and out of your home? Get your calendars together and make time now.
I won’t be responding to comments this week as I am enjoying time now with my family on spring break! Enjoy your’s!
Need help starting a “deep” conversation? Visit Lynn’s website, click on “Freebies” and download her free conversation starters!
I’m in I’d love to win a copy of Lysa’s book, “made to crave”. Thanks for the giveaway!
I too have two children who resemble your description. Our son is the quiet one and our daughter the tornado. Thank you for your advice. Sometimes it is so difficult to pull his feelings out of his hiding place, but I know when I can that it is worth the effort. Enjoy those wonderful days of Spring Break!
my sweet daughter is 12+ and overweight, her dad is incarcerated, and she resents her younger sister because she is naturally thin. she keeps her true feelings locked up pretty tight, but we are bonding more & more. she has a big, beautiful heart and i pray i can continue to make sure she knows that that is what God sees and its what is the most important! Of course I tell her she is beautiful no matter what, but always emphasize the heart.
Amber M says
Im glad i found your page, such great resources! thanks 🙂
2 Marriages…a bruised body ‘n soul and one big broken heart. but, I am proud and can confidently say that, by my Father’s Grace, she still fights for her life..and is hopefull’ n eagerly awaits the future.
. Yes it has been a long painful journey…but bit by bit, day by day,God continues to talk to her,mould her, teach her….fill her heart up with the Love she craved for and sought after in her marriage. today she is learning… that only HE can be the one true love she has ben looking for all her life.
She was always a giving compassionate person….today I see how her pain has ignited a fire in her soul that wants to fight to those less fortunate than her. Every time she talks, she talks about how she wants to go serve in poor countries of the world. change the lives of battered and women’n children who have endured or still live in prostitution and abuse. I guess thats all she can do now to fill her empty spaces is to feel the pain of ohers. I pray God sees her heart and chooses to use her as HE sees her capable of.
She always says to me ” God does not call the equippped. He equips the called. ”
Thank you Lord Jesus for ur grace and strength in her life.