Worth the Effort

Have you read my current  Proverbs 31 devotion Worth the Effort? If you haven’t, click here to read what in our life is worth the effort. Be sure to come back!

If your house is anything like the Cowell house, you have all types of personalities that call it home.

The non-stop talker.

The quiet one.

The peace maker.

In order to have real relationship with each one, we have to find the way each one relates and for some, this process may require more effort than others.

I am learning that whatever effort it takes, it is worth that effort.

Proverbs 20:5 tells us “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” 

Conversations that draws out this “deep water” in a heart only happens in unhurried moments. Moments when we stop the ferris wheel of life, make eye contact and with our time and attention we communicate we truly care.  We say we want to know what is truly in a person’s heart. The gift of choosing to be distraction free when another speaks says loud and clear, “You matter. You, and only you, are what is important at this moment.”

This time may come when the car pulls in the garage and so does the day’s frustrations.

This moment may be after school, when the book bag drops and so do the tears.

Your effort may be needed when the silence is louder than any words could be.

And it is during this time that we need to shut our world down and enter their’s…with all our heart.

The tough part comes in the next step…the drawing out.

Does the one you love want you to simply listen? Is a hug the very thing needed? A word of encouragement? A little guidance?

Breathe deep, whisper a prayer to the Holy Spirit for wisdom and be sensitive. The fact that you are giving of yourself may be all your loved one needs.

I know some days I need some help in starting these “deep” conversations. That’s why I created The Convo Creator;40 Days to a Better Relationship. These free conversation starters are the door openers to conversations that can help us to draw out the deep waters in those we love. Be sure to download your copy! Just click on the “freebies” tab at www.LynnCowell.com.

Who do you need to make time for a heart-to-heart with today? Is your loved one the non-stop talker or the quiet type? Please share! From those who share today, one random commenter will receive a copy of my CD message, “Building a Bridge to Your Child’s Heart”. 




  1. i would like to make time for heart-to-heart talk with my husband who is quiet type. help me please.

  2. Marguerite says:

    HI.Her name is Hannah.She is 18 and goes off to college in August. She is my granddaughter
    I try to draw her out but she is often reserved and keeps things close. I do not want to be overbearing

    and I tend to just let her be and I just pray that the Holy Spirit be with her. I do not want to appear to be preaching. Drawing her out is certaining what I want to do but it is not easy. Marguerite

  3. Thank you for this little devotion. I have two boys and husband, none are “talkers”. I am looking forward to downloading your conversation starters to draw them out and encourage them to share. Thank you again for the insight.

  4. We have 6 kids, and while sometimes we can think they have similar personalities, they don’t. We have to constantly remember which kid is which and how to react to each individual one! lol

  5. We are always amazed at how our four daughters–who were born to the same two parents, raised by those same two parents in the same house with the same expectations–can be so completely different! We have one chatterbox (she talks a lot, but doesn’t always say much!), one caregiver (sacrificing and taking care of everyone else when Mama can’t get it all done), one who often seems that she couldn’t care less (even though she probably REALLY couldn’t care more)…and one who, well…we haven’t figured her out yet! Every day brings a new challenge and a new reward…even when we don’t exactly know what to do or how to handle a situation, we have found our way with the Lord’s guidance. We are blessed daily by their precious–and very individual–ways!

  6. I really enjoyed your piece on “Encouragement for Today”. Thank you for the good reminder that we need to take time to really listen to what the other person needs.

  7. Lynn Cowell…. What a wonderful thing you are letting God do through you. Buddy and I send xxoo.

  8. Carolyn Rogers says:

    Thank you, Lynn. We’ve been goign through your devotional most mornings. Some mornings we just can’t seem to get our act together but still I’m convinced that your devos help the kids start the morning out with thoughts and truths from the Lord. So, thank you for that. Your P31 devo today really struck a cord in me. I’m “too busy”. Work is all-consuming and so I’m convicted that I need to intentionally take time to spend with my daughters and son. They are all different and range on the continuum from my non-stop talker son to my oldest who is fairly open to my clamped-down shut middle child. They are all wonderful and I need to spend time with them so they have proof that they’re worth it.

    Thanks for speaking truth to me today.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Carolyn, that is so great that you are pouring God’s truth into your kids every day! Keep going! His word will not return without fruit!

  9. We have 4 children and all different ages. Ok, we have a 14,13,4 and 2. Nothing like starting over. LOL Anyway, it is difficult at times to talk to your child. I want to relate to all of them and help them but some days well I feel I run from the conversations because I do not know what to say. They are all so different and it is neat to see how much they are different. Keep up with what you are doing because trust me I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!! LOL I mean, I need good Christian literature to help me address certain areas of parenting.Thank you so much for all that you do and give to us.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Heather, thank you so much for your kind words. Some days, I really struggle with what to write! I mean…our kids are people and people are complicated! Trust me when I say the Cowell family doesn’t have it all together, but we are trying to learn to love as He loves!

  10. My soon to be 12 year old is very much a talker and since I’m a quiet one I have to really pay attention and remove all distractions to talk with her. Thankfully we’ve found that middle ground that let’s us talk and enjoy the conversation – well, most of the time! The hormones show up now and then. 🙂 I like the conversation starters! Thank you so much for sharing your insight!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I hope they are helpful to you, Karla!

  11. Halona Luna says:

    Oh my, well being the mother of four children who are blended into a family still trying to find out how to make it work. We just got custody of my husband’s 12 yr old son last year. Poor guy being put into a pool of three girls 9, 14, and 16. Praying 🙂

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Good thing Jesus is a miracle worker friend!

  12. My 16 year old is sooooo very difficult to draw out, while another is a non-stop talker, and the other daughter can be drawn out if given uninterrupted time. We have been really busy lately, but after reading this I can see that I’ve been missing some cues. I definitely need to make a conscious effort to give each girl some undivided attention! Thanks for the insight! Looking forward to downloading the Conversation Starters! 🙂

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I hope they help, Debbie!

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