My guest today is Cyndi Woods; a woman who, despite her disability, has made her move to fulfill God’s calling on her life.
I would like to give a warm thank you to Lynn for allowing me to share a peek through my window for a moment.
Let me start with telling you all a fact about myself… I am legally blind. I lost a majority of my sight throughout high school and continue to lose more every year. At 44 years old, I have not yet fully come to terms with my vision loss, but I’m holding that torch up a little higher these days.
When you have blindness, there is an immediate response of body language. You know, the droop in posture, the fading of the smile, and then the other shoe drops and the comment is made, “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
I know the meaning behind these words and tokens of empathy are to show a kindness, a soft-hearted soul if you will. I certainly don’t want to squash someone’s kindness. But the “I’m sorry” tends to leave a residue. One that has me feeling like they are sorry that I’ll never lead a normal life or be productive. This of course is my own voice, not anyone else’s. But the feeling is no less real. I have felt the calling from God to be a writer even before I could really call myself a Christian. Though I didn’t know it was God’s calling. These days, writing is broader with new platforms to use which includes blogging. Oh, how I felt the call to start a blog! I did the research and discovered that you can set up a blog in just 3 minutes! I was overjoyed. God had already impressed me with a name for my blog and I had the drive to write. Then I attempted to set up said blog. Well it was pretty much impossible for me to do. Let me just add here that I literally just learned how to turn a computer on and type a year ago. I had no training of any kind because no one knew how to teach a blind person the computer. So, I jammed in quite a bit of techy stuff in a two-month span.
Nevertheless, I knew God was calling me to this. How this was going to be accomplished, I had no idea. However, God knew and that’s all that mattered. If I knew the end from the beginning the way God does, I would have no need for faith. But that didn’t make my fear of failing at this because of my lack of knowledge and lack of vision go away. My fears kept me awake at night. They kept meals with my family from being enjoyed. They kept my mind fully occupied with a big bold sign declaring “NO VACANCY!”. I had no room for any other thoughts or emotions.
The fear of failure consumed every part of me.
Then I had a pow-wow with God and asked Him why He was calling me to this if it was going to be so difficult. Friends, when you ask God a question like that… He will answer. He flooded me with scriptures of how impossible things looked until God showed up. He reminded me of situations in my own life when things appeared impossible to work out. But that’s where God’s power is… in the impossible. I “made my move” and went to a friend to ask for his opinion on how to proceed with the blog. He is a computer junky and an editor for a local organization, The Disability Network. His reply to my frustration was simply, “Why don’t I just post them for you?”
“What?” was my profound answer to that question. I hadn’t really known him that long to ask him to do that, but he laid it on the table like it was the most logical thing to offer. After blinking back a few tears, I accepted his gracious offer and then felt more fear than I had before. You see, now it might really happen. Before the risk was kind of sitting outside on the back porch. Now it was on my kitchen counter so to speak.
I prayed for God’s leading and guidance in writing. I still felt fear. I prayed for wisdom and for courage. I still felt fear. Our faith isn’t born out of fear, it’s born out of obedience. Romans 8:31 says “What then shall we say to these things, if God is for us, who can be against us?” No matter how impossible things look, if God is for you, no one can be against you. Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Thank you so much for sharing your courage with us, Cyndi!
You can keep in touch with Cyndi at her blog at https://aroundthetable365.wordpress.com/.