Wow…that year went fast. My prescription of Synthroid is running low so it was time to head to taht place again. So today was my lucky day. Time to go and get the blood drawn again. When I saw my doctor she reminded me that I had “somehow” foregone my annual last year. Did I know that? (Of course I did…who wants to get that done anyway?) To give you some insight, I turned 40 last year and have yet to schedule my first base-line mammogram. I have issues when it comes to doctors.
Here is a bit of writing from my journal a week or so ago – I think it was the day I actually made my doctor’s appointment. Thinking of my physical doctor made me think of my spiritual doctor.
Even though I generally dread going to doctors, instinctively I know that this One can be trusted and truly knows what He is doing.
Although my Doctor and I have a great relationship, I still sometimes hesitate to give Him a call. It seems to me that often His method of treatments are what I call unconventional and risky. Deep in my heart though, I know that without His treatments, I will die. So, I reluctantly gave Him a call.
I showed up for my appointment and got right in. It sure is a peaceful place. I knew He’d be right in, but I decided to pick up the book He authored as I waited. As I read His book I was again amazed at His wisdom and just how much He knew about the human race. Just as He promised, He came right in and began to discuss with me my current health care plan. He gave me the words I didn’t want to hear. I needed more surgery. I don’t know why I dreaded it so much…probably because I was aware of the risks that were involved. I could see that there was no other alternative, but I still had to make the choice. I can tell you, this was no easy decision for me. Upon my last visit to His Word, He gave me the reasons for the surgery. I suffered from a chronic case of performing – living for the applauds of others. I had been struggling with this disease all of my life. After treatment, I had found healing. But sometimes, after finding myself in battle with the enemy or in a conflict with my mind, I would become wounded and need treatment again. Finding life, all of life in Him alone, was my only cure. Yet I still seemed to struggle with that complete surrender and trust.
After my review, My doctor handed me the waiver papers for the surgery and asked me to read them so that I would understand what needed to take place. I had to sign them before the surgery could be performed. My Doctor wouldn’t force me to have this procedure completed. The waiver included this promise “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it;” Matthew 10:39 (NIV). The options sounded pretty limited. Either go forward or die. I signed the papers.
Once I agreed, I headed to the hospital. The quickest route there was on my knees. Knowing how hard this was for me, my Doctor had set up personal escorts for me. His angels ministered to me as I took the steps of surrender. After checking in, I was taken to the pre-op room. As I climbed up on my gurney, I began to cry. I still did not fully understand all that needed to take place, but I did feel His peace. I kissed my loved ones and laid down as His angels wheeled me through the double swinging doors in the operating room. There He was…waiting for me. My doctor – ready to perform for me what I could not do for myself.
Have you also been told that you needed to have surgery performed by the Great Physician? Although it is incredibly difficult and scary to surrender, who better can we trust but Jehovah-Rapha – the Lord our Healer. Ask Him to help you to sign your papers, get up on the gurney and allow Him to wheel you into His surgery room.