“I can’t deny that God exists. I’ve seen and experienced too much to deny He’s there. I just don’t
know if He’s good. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to follow Him anymore.”
My friend was stunned by my admission.
Those words revealed something I had not realized before.
1) I knew God existed, 2) I had valuable experience with Him, 3) I was questioning
God’s goodness and 4) I was hurting so much that I didn’t know if it was worth the pain and
the effort to keep following Him.
In addition to recognizing and admitting where my struggle was, that conversation brought 3 prayer warriors
alongside me. Those prayer warriors (and my understanding of their value) was one of the best
things to come out of that time.
In ancient times, Roman soldiers used to carry 2 types of shields, a small shield used in hand-to-hand combat and
a large one used for full-body protection. That larger shield allowed a soldier to crouch behind it
to avoid enemy arrows. When a group of soldiers stood in a circle behind their shields, they
formed a virtually impenetrable barrier for themselves and their fellow soldiers. They quite
literally had each other’s backs.
I had been fighting my battle alone with my tiny little shield, leaving my back exposed to
enemy fire. I needed my fellow warriors to protect my back from enemy arrows (and they
needed me for the same reason). When I finally had several people who understood how intense
my battle was, I had fellow warriors planting their large prayer shields next to mine to protect my
While my fellow warriors protected my back, I wrestled with those questions that were haunting
me and sought answers in God’s Word. When I confessed my struggles to my friend, I finally recognized the big issues. Now that I knew what the issues were, I could seek answers.
Satan makes us question God’s Word to keep us from salvation or to render us useless to God. I
refused to let Satan win. But to regain strength and to become an effective servant warrior again,
I had to confront those questions.
It took time, but gradually my faith strengthened. I realized that God was calling me to a restored relationship and to a renewed and effective life of service in His Kingdom, all in the power He provides.
My story is one of battle, injury, burnout, depression, running, prayer, restoration, and service. Regardless of your personal struggle, you also need fellow warriors to cover your back with prayer, God’s Word to confront Satan’s lies, and salvation and restoration so you can have a future hope and so you can be an effective servant warrior in God’s Kingdom.
During this dark time in my life, God reintroduced me to the Old Testament prophet, Elijah. By spending time with Elijah, I learned many things about myself and my God. When I finally rose above my circumstances, I had a burning desire to share the lessons I had learned.
If you find yourself in a very dark time of your spiritual journey—asking questions, looking for elusive answers, thinking no one understands—let me introduce you to Elijah.
James tells us that Elijah was human just like us. This flawed human being walked into the throne room of a king to confront sin then hid for three and a half years while the people suffered the serious consequences of idolatry and unrepentance. Elijah lived the ultimate mountaintop experience only to run away in fear when he came down from that mountain. Yet, God still used him.
In Elijah: Lessons on God and Godly Living from One Flawed Human to Another, you will take a 6-week, in-depth look at the life of Elijah, studying him and the kings around him. Here, you will identify your own idols and explore the impact your life has on those around you. When God hides Elijah, you will learn valuable lessons about God’s provision. As you watch Elijah struggle through the wilderness, you will discover some pitfalls of a life committed to God and explore ways of avoiding them. Elijah experienced passion, provision, power, burnout, and restoration. Join me as we discover what a human like us is capable of doing when they are wholly committed to God.
If you subscribe to the Bible Study Journey blog between 12:00 AM Tuesday,
May 7 and 11:59 PM Friday, May 10, you will receive a 2-lesson sample of the study
ELIJAH and be entered to win a copy (U.S. residents only) of ELIJAH: Lessons
on God and Godly Living from One Flawed Human to Another.
A name will be drawn at random.