I’ve Been Delilah

Congratulations to the winner from Wednesday’s post “How to Get a God-Perspective” is April who posted at May 28, 2014 at 11:27 am. April, please send me your full name and address and I’ll get your spa pack out to you!

I’ve Been Delilah 

The Pointers Sisters sang in my head their throaty tune. Transported back to my parents’ car,  my sister turns up the Top 40:

“Romeo and Juliet, Samson and Delilah.
Baby, you can bet, a love they couldn’t deny.”

I don’t know that  at 11 years old I knew who Samson and Delilah were.

But today, as I read their romantic encounter, one line sticks out from their tale :

“She nagged him every day with this speech, pestering him until he was annoyed nearly to death.” Judges 16:16 (ISB)

Delilah wanted something. She whined. She manipulated, “How can you say, ‘I love you’…” She used all the tricks.

Eventually, her pestering and nagging worked. She got what she wanted.

I wondered how Delilah felt when she finally did get what she wanted. When the enemy captured Samson, gouged out his eyes, and threw him in prison.

Might she have thought, “That’s not what I wanted.”


Sometimes when we get what we thought we wanted we find we don’t want it. 


Delilah got what she wanted … and it cost everything. Their marriage. Samson’s freedom. Eventually his life.

Delilah knew the power of a woman’s words. She knew if she just kept on, she would eventually get what she wanted.

She misused the power of influence God had given her.

I’ve been Delilah.

When my child asked to do something and I didn’t say “no”, but I made them feel guilty if they made a choice against my wishes.

When my husband already expressed his desire, but I pressed for mine.

I’ve been Delilah.

And when the fight with my child ends in tears or the meal with my husband is eaten in silence, like Delilah, I realize that what I’ve gotten I really didn’t want.

How about you?

Have you found yourself pressing for what you want? Take a moment. Think through when your emotions are spinning: Where will this pushing end?

A fight? Hurtful words? Debt? Resentment? Divorce? Estrangement?

We can learn a lot from our friend, Delilah. After the first push back we can take a moment and ask: If I keep pushing, where will I end up?

Because maybe what I want I really don’t want and I should just stop and realize this now.




  1. This reminds me of the country song “unanswered prayers”. I’ve heard people try to bash it saying that the song was about how God doesn’t answer prayers….WRONG! It’s about a man thanking God for NOT answering his prayers. I can’t tell you how many times I thanked God for not answering my prayers. He truely has my/your back!!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Mitzii, I haven’t heard the song, but it sounds like the lyrics are true! We have many thanks to give to God for not answering the prayers we thought were for our best!

  2. Jodi Michaelides says:

    I just got terribly sick to my stomach. I was a Delilah and did not even know. I did not have insight into this perspective that I was repeating patterns on my former spouse that were so distressing for me growing up in my own family of origin. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Jodi – thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability! God’s grace goes before you, friend! He forgives the sins and errors we’ve all made. Then, He gives us the strength and wisdom to grow and become the wise women He created us to be. As you ask Him every day, sometimes for me every hour, for the right words to say, He will provide. And many times, His words to me are no words at all; He wants met to keep silent and just pray. He is your help and strength, Jodi!

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