Wednesday Wisdom Tip: When You Want to Scream

Maybe you’ve been in this place recently too…

We “discovered” our child made a very poor decision; didn’t play out the full scenario on where this choice might lead. The steamy anger and frustrated words I wanted to hurl kept rolling around my mind; a tsunami waiting to hit shore.

It was while in this frame of mind I read:

 “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” 

–Galatians 6:1 (NIV)

Gently? Really, Lord? I feel anything but gentle right now! Nor do I feel like this action deserves me being gentle!

As I contemplated how I felt, I thought of the memories I would be creating based on the way I reacted.

My child would always remember the way I responded. This was my opportunity to demonstrate the mercy and compassion of Christ. My other option: give way to my anger, creating a memory of my perceived justice being delivered at whatever cost.

My husband and I chose to gently restore our child that day. Forgiving with another opportunity to win our trust.

I hope we made the right decision. Time will tell.

I know in my life, Jesus has over and over again gently restored me. I’ll leave this restoration with Him. He is the perfect father to my imperfect kids just as He is the perfect father to me.




  1. I just wanted to encourage you, Lynn, that what you did may have more of an impact in your child’s life than you’ll ever realize. I too made a very poor decision that changed my life, but my parents were both supportive in their love for me and told me to hold my head high. Yes, they were disappointed in me, but their love and support never waivered. That was 39 years ago, and the memory still affects me to this day. Instead of words spoken out of anger or embarrassment for themselves and our family name, they supported me with Christ’s love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness, and I’ll always love them and be thankful for that!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I’ve definitely responded wrong…so many, many times! When you have three children, there is always another shot to try it differently.

      I hope my child will learn God’s grace and also desire to obey to honor Him in the future! Thanks Debbie C!

  2. What a sweet reminder. I know too many times I’ve let my anger fly and caused more hurt when they needed my love more than anything. Thank you, Lord, that your grace and mercy restore us.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Debra, today, I am in a position with one of my children where I am just begging Him for the right words to say and when to say them. I want to let my anger go and walk in love. Each day is such a journey!

  3. Thank you for this “gentle” reminder. I so needed to read this today. I too am a mother of teenage girls and this is a great example of the Father’s grace and love. I really appreciate your insight and wisdom. Thank you for being obedient to the Spirit and sharing what God has placed on your heart. You are a true blessing!

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Thanks Wendi! I wish I always responded in wisdom. There are so many days when I don’t want to write because it has not been a “wise” day. I am often held back because I also have to give my kids their privacy. This season, no matter how you cut it, is hard!

      You know what they say, “When they are little they are a handful and when they are bigger they are a heartful!”

  4. A good reminder. I have raised 3 children and 2 grandchildren and this lesson didn’t come easily for us, but always paid off when we accomplished it. Thank you for sharing.

  5. I wrecked (destroyed) my brother’s car when I was 16. I was totally unhurt but knew the most painful part of the incident would be facing my dad. Sure enough, after what was the worst experience of my life, he spent the next several hours yelling and screaming at me. He took a horrible situation and made it worse. He died a year and a half later, and I’ve had to deal with forgiving him for that night over and over in my head and heart. His response was much more damaging to me than the car wreck. Kids usually see the errors of their way, and often they feel the natural consequences of their bad judgment. I now focus on that and try to gently restore my own children rather than add to the trauma of an already bad situation. At least my dad helped me learn that lesson.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      Leura, I am SO sorry! I have been that mom! Taken a time when my child was already hurting and compounded that hurt.

      I pray that the Lord will help you to completely forgive your dad and the emotions of peace will come to you. Lord, I pray that you will take this memory from Leura and you will replace pain with peace. It will become a story of her past and not a painful place. Amen

  6. Lynn, Thank you for his reminder and encouragement. This has to be one of the most difficult disciplines in parenting, or any relationship. There is so much invested and so much at stake. It is hard not to take their decisions personally, making it even harder for me to be loving and patient. I am praying for more self control in this area. Thank you my friend.

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      You demonstrate a beautiful balance between discipline and love, Bonnie!

  7. What a great teachable moment! Remember saying, “I’ll never do it like mom and dad did?” Well, we do! And they learn from us and become wiser parents because of how we parented them.
    Love and Prayers,

    1. Lynn Cowell says:

      I pray it is true, Beth!

  8. Magriet du Plessis says:

    This is so true. I wish I had the wisdom when my kids were growing up. Because of my own problems I lost control too many times and regretted it afterwards. I have actually written a long letter to my chidren explaining and stressing that it is no excuse.

    We are a family that does not really share our feelings (it comes from as far back as when I was a kid) so trying to do it face to face would have been too Embarrassing for THEM! Can you believe it, of cource also a problem.

  9. This is something that I needed to hear. It is so true. But I struggle in this area on a daily basis, no matter how hard I try. Calm communication is an issue with everyone in my household. Please pray for me and my family!

  10. Amanda R. says:

    I have found this to be the best way to deal with situations. I have 4 children, 2 boys that are our own and 2 nieces that we have raised as our own, my oldest is 19yrs old and the youngest is 14yrs old. There have been many issues that we have gone through and they have come back to me later and explained what they learned from that experience. They have also watched friends go through similar issues and have seen how parents have dealt with them and appreciated that we chose to handle it with what they considered grace.

  11. When I react in a way that isn’t forgiving, I can see it in my daugters’ faces and sometimes that is enough to catch myself. But for the most part, it is an ongoing struggle that I am constantly asking the Lord’s help with. It’s so comforting to know that I am not alone in that and that wonderful sisters in Christ know exactly what I’m talking about. Thank you Lynn for being so transparent for us! You truly bless me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.