Wednesday Wisdom Tips – Star Struck

“What you see, more’s to be”. Those are the wise words my husband often passes on to my kids.

We’ve entered the possible “dating zone”, but even before that, Greg looked for examples to share this truth:whatever you see in the guy or girl you are interested in, you can count on seeing more of it in the future.

When the intoxication of infatuation comes around, Greg doesn’t want our kids to shut their eyes to obvious flaws and say, “he’ll change.”

While it is true that people change, especially those who are sincerely following Christ, as a general rule the character you see is the same character that will continue.

Look for easy examples to share with your kids:

Does he: come to the door to pick you up, open your car door or allow you to go first into a building? The manners he shows in the beginning are usually the best manners you’ll see.

Does he have a job, get good grades or give his best to his sport? The work ethic you see today will be the work ethic that will shine tomorrow…good or bad.

How does he treat his parents; especially his mom? The respect he has for her will be the respect he has for you.

This isn’t just for our girls. The same is true for our son. Does the girl you are dating allow you to lead or feel the need to?

While we don’t want our kids to over analyze every move a potential date has, we do want them to go into a potential relationship with their eyes open and not be blinded by a starry eyed crush.

Is your child ready to date? Check out this free resource to help you and them know!



  1. Great wisdom, Lynn! I can’t wait to share this with my Whatever Girls- some have already started “dating” at 13 & 14. 🙁

    1. All the more reason to teach and teach early! Thanks Erin!

  2. I love your Wednesday Wisdom tips! I have 3 daughters; our oldest is 11 and I’ll take all the wisdom I can get, especially when it comes to dating! Thank you for these!

    1. Thanks Staci! So glad to share anything I’ve learned so far…I have a long way to go!

  3. Lynn –

    Thanks for including boys in this. My son just turned 16. He recently went to Homecoming with a very nice girl who was appropriately dressed, but when I saw some pictures of other girls, I was floored! I can’t believe what some parents let their daughters wear. I have a 14 year old daughter and I will not let her dress in tight, strapless dresses that barely cover her behind. Too often boys are stereotyped as only thinking of “one” thing. How about not letting our daughters make that “one” thing so visible!!

    1. Hey Robin, I have a son, but since he is 20 I don’t mention boys as often in my writing. You are right; as moms of girls, we need to make sure they are covered it up and not make it so hard on the guys!

      Thanks for commenting!

  4. I sent this on to my girls, nieces, and nephews. So true…and still true of me and my husband. Still got lots of human flaws, much of which was there way back when we met over 30 years ago. Thankfully, they haven’t been deal-breakers and we are willing to be transformed!!

  5. Lynn, I have been reading your blog for some time. Our deployed spouses group has been talking about dating and why are the girls so relentless in their pursuit of the boys. God reminded me of your blog. I was able to share with the ladys. Do you have any resources for boys? I have 3. God bless.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Eileen! I think as moms we need each other. I, too, have a son, but he is grown and in college so I am not facing the day-to-day with boys any more. I am sorry I don’t have any resources for them. Some of my free resources on my website (under the “freebies” tab) can be used for both.

  6. This week our middle school announced a beauty pageant to support the athletics dept. Tickets are $5 to see the girls in the show. I was floored that this was going to happen at school but seriously shocked about all the parents that were okay w/ it. We try to teach our boys to look at what is on the inside and that girls flaunting their physical attributes are not God’s best for them. A girl who shows herself off to boys is not going to attract the best kid of guy either. I know real temptation and the dating years are just down the road and I don’t think we can start too soon in praying for our children’s relationships and encouraging them to bear in mind wise scripture concerning the type of girls/guys they should consider dating (modest, polite and respectful). We also should teach them that dating really should be called courting. If they are asking a girl out, it should be because they like her character and see potential for a relationship, not just random dating. Thanks for sharing this. While we are not yet into the dating years, I thank you for the resources that will help prepare us!

    1. Wow…middle school! So glad my kid’s middle school didn’t do this! Middle school is the most self-conscious age. We need to be doing things to build self-esteem and confidence not make it worse!

    1. I’ve watched it,June! It’s terrific!

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